.SOMETIMES RAW.

Hello there.

I have to study a lot. The picture above is the library at my University where I spent many hours every day. This Master in Linguistics Program is no joke; however, I mentioned earlier that I will always find time to read for pleasure  just because I love books so much. And even though I am sometimes only able to read “for pleasure” for about half an hour or so before I go to bed, but it is worth it. A separate post on all the independent bookstores where I find most of my gems will follow soon. Today, I just want to share what I am currently reading and the books that are already patiently waiting on my nightstand/office desk. I also have to announce that I will officially review books for HarperCollinsCanada. How awesome is that? I was really excited when they contacted me I have to say.

Autumn officially starts on September 23rd, which means we are slowly spending more time inside with tea, books and reading, candles, cookies and all that good stuff. You need something good to read? Here are my top five picks for Autumn. Enjoy!

Emma Donoghue. The Wonder.  

“A village in 1850s Ireland is baffled by Anna O’Donnell’s fast. A little girl appears to be thriving after months without food, and the story of this ‘wonder’ has reached fever pitch. Tourists flock in droves to the O’Donnell family’s modest cabin, and an international journalist is sent to cover the sensational story. Enter Lib, an English nurse trained by Florence Nightingale, who is hired to keep watch for two weeks and determine whether or not Anna is a fraud. As Anna deteriorates, Lib finds herself responsible not just for the care of a child, but for getting to the root of why the child may actually be the victim of murder in slow motion. A magnetic novel written with all the spare and propulsive tension that made ROOM a huge bestseller, THE WONDER works beautifully on many levels—as a simple tale of two strangers who will transform each other’s lives, a powerful psychological thriller, and a story of love pitted against evil in its many masks.” We all remember Emma Donoghue from the “Room”!!! 

Walk Through Walls: A Memoir by Marina Abramovic. 

“I had experienced absolute freedom—I had felt that my body was without boundaries, limitless; that pain didn’t matter, that nothing mattered at all—and it intoxicated me.” In 2010, more than 750,000 people stood in line at Marina Abramović’s MoMA retrospective for the chance to sit across from her and communicate with her nonverbally in an unprecedented durational performance that lasted more than 700 hours. This celebration of nearly fifty years of groundbreaking performance art demonstrated once again that Marina Abramović is truly a force of nature. The child of Communist war-hero parents under Tito’s regime in postwar Yugoslavia, she was raised with a relentless work ethic. Even as she was beginning to build an international artistic career, Marina lived at home under her mother’s abusive control, strictly obeying a 10 p.m. curfew. But nothing could quell her insatiable curiosity, her desire to connect with people, or her distinctly Balkan sense of humor—all of which informs her art and her life. The beating heart of Walk Through Walls is an operatic love story—a twelve-year collaboration with fellow performance artist Ulay, much of which was spent penniless in a van traveling across Europe—a relationship that began to unravel and came to a dramatic end atop the Great Wall of China. Marina’s story, by turns moving, epic, and dryly funny, informs an incomparable artistic career that involves pushing her body past the limits of fear, pain, exhaustion, and danger in an uncompromising quest for emotional and spiritual transformation. A remarkable work of performance in its own right, Walk Through Walls is a vivid and powerful rendering of the unparalleled life of an extraordinary artist.

[I have met her in 2010 at the MOMA so it is especially awesome to read this amazing book by Marina Abramovic. Check out this video, too!] 

The Gaslight. Steven Price. 

“London, 1885. In a city of fog and darkness, the notorious thief Edward Shade exists only as a ghost, a fabled con, a thief of other men’s futures — a man of smoke. William Pinkerton is already famous, the son of a brutal detective, when he descends into the underworld of Victorian London in pursuit of a new lead. His father died without ever tracing Shade; William, still reeling from his loss, is determined to drag the thief out of the shadows. Adam Foole is a gentleman without a past, haunted by a love affair ten years gone. When he receives a letter from his lost beloved, he returns to London in search of her; what he learns of her fate, and its connection to the man known as Shade, will force him to confront a grief he thought long-buried. What follows is a fog-enshrouded hunt through sewers, opium dens, drawing rooms, and seance halls. Above all, it is the story of the most unlikely of bonds: between William Pinkerton, the greatest detective of his age, and Adam Foole, the one man who may hold the key to finding Edward Shade.
Epic in scope, brilliantly conceived, and stunningly written, Steven Price’s By Gaslight is a riveting, atmospheric portrait of two men on the brink. Moving from the diamond mines of South Africa to the battlefields of the Civil War, the novel is a journey into a cityscape of grief, trust, and its breaking, where what we share can bind us even against our darker selves.”

Brain on Fire. Susannah Cahalan. 

“An award-winning memoir and instant New York Times bestseller that goes far beyond its riveting medical mystery, Brain on Fire is the powerful account of one woman’s struggle to recapture her identity.

When twenty-four-year-old Susannah Cahalan woke up alone in a hospital room, strapped to her bed and unable to move or speak, she had no memory of how she’d gotten there. Days earlier, she had been on the threshold of a new, adult life: at the beginning of her first serious relationship and a promising career at a major New York newspaper. Now she was labeled violent, psychotic, a flight risk. What happened?

In a swift and breathtaking narrative, Susannah tells the astonishing true story of her descent into madness, her family’s inspiring faith in her, and the lifesaving diagnosis that nearly didn’t happen. “A fascinating look at the disease that . . . could have cost this vibrant, vital young woman her life” (People), Brain on Fire is an unforgettable exploration of memory and identity, faith and love, and a profoundly compelling tale of survival and perseverance that is destined to become a classic.”

On Writers and Writing. Margaret Atwood.

“A brilliant, ambitious, insightful inquiry into the art of writing from the legendary Margaret Atwood. What do we mean when we say that someone is a writer? Is he or she an entertainer? A high priest of the god of Art? An improver of readers’ minds and morals? Looking back on her own childhood and the development of her writing career, Margaret Atwood addresses the riddle of her own art. Her wide-ranging reference to other writers, living and dead, is accompanied by personal anecdotes from her own experiences as a writer. The lightness of her touch is offset by a seriousness about the purpose and the pleasures of writing. Wise, candid, informative, and engaging, On Writers and Writing provides an insider’s view of the writer’s universe, written by one of the most celebrated writers of our time.” 

Since I moved to Canada, I want to read as much CanLit as possible but these days I am stuck with Margaret Atwood. What an amazing writer. 

What are you reading or recommending? I would love to hear from you. 

“We don’t see things as they are-we see them as we are” (Anaïs Nin)

Hello there. 

I have not written a “Five- Things” post in quite a while and it is overdue. Plus, I have a bunch of things to share. Winding down after a full day of lectures, library for three hours (I find, the best place to study is on the 3rd “silent” floor of the library so far!), running around to meet with professors and finally picking up Petit Joel from preschool was in a way tiring. At 3 pm, my brain felt like it is in desperate need for a break, so my little guy and I went to our favorite cake/cookie place “Life of Pie” in Ottawa so far. We made this sort of “our thing” on Fridays to eat chocolate cake there and I have a much needed wake-me-up-cup of coffee. Then we went home, got our bicycles and went to the park. We stayed there until sunset. A beautiful day indeed. I really focus on him and the time we are together now since he is in preschool until 3pm. He is doing such a great job there. He fell asleep within ten minutes tonight and I am back to studying in a bit. First though, here are my Friday Five’s. Enjoy! 

Reading: I always find time to read. No matter what! Even though, the readings for the three lectures I am attending a week are pretty intense at the Masters level. For pleasure, I am reading Margaret Atwood’s The Handmaid’s Tale which kept me up late every other night. It is so good! The other book that is fantastic is Susannah Cahalan’s Brain on Fire. Watch this interesting TED Conversation of her and her disease she had here. If you love memoirs, the human body and psychology, this book is for you. It amazes me every time, how fast life can change and makes me realize how special it is to be on this earth and that I should not take anything for granted. This article from The New York Times is also a great read. 

Watching/Listening: I stumbled upon Jenny Mustard’s videos on healthy eating, minimalism and so much more on YouTube, subscribed to her channel and watch her videos ever since. Clean, simple videos without a lot of fuss but with tons of great information. This is how I like it. I am very fortunate to be able to attend lectures by  the linguist Dr. Marie-Odile Junker at my University. Just watch her video here if you interested in linguistics. 

Learning/Discovering: Since living in Canada, I am interested in anything First Nation; especially the Innu and East Cree people. Dr. Junker has a specialization in aboriginal languages and works on language preservation, lexicographies and so much more. “It is about the East Cree language, spoken in Northern Quebec, Canada, in the James Bay area. The East Cree language is a Native American language of North America and belongs to the Algonquian language family.” Click here for the website.  

I am a huge tea-lover. DavidsTea is an amazing place where I purchase most of my tea or drink a cup and relax when Petit Joel and I explore the neighborhood. This morning in class, a classmate told me about The Tea Party Café at the “market” which is known by everybody here as The Byward Market. Tomorrow it is supposed to rain, so museum and café it is. Also, I mentioned that I wanted to work out again and I did indeed. No excuses and time to get back in shape. I went to the gym at University and it was very good. However, I will not sign up for any gym membership anymore. I prefer to be outside in fresh air, park and such. Sticky, sweaty, crowded gym – not really my thing but it is included in the university package, so why not. They have a sauna and a huge pool too. Yay! 

Thinking About: I was overwhelmed initially with the plethora of possibilities that are out there within the Linguistic field. Research is awesome. What Dr. Junker does blows my mind. But honestly, I am mostly interested  in Forensics Linguistics these days. Maybe it is because of my background – who knows. However, don’t quote me on it. I might change directions throughout the program but it sounds good for now. 

Looking Forward to: Seeing le husband again. I miss him so much. Everything is smooth here these days, but it is just so so much better when he is around. We have a solid marriage and talk every single day via Skype (sometimes even more often) which I think is very important for a long-distance relationship like ours. It does work. But, I am literally scratching days of on my calendar until we see each other again. Unconditional! What we have is special and I treasure it. Even though we cannot be together every day, we still are always. Same goes for my family in Germany. I miss them too but we talk a lot on Skype as well. My grandma (82!) is about to get an iPad so we will be able to talk and SEE each other.  So special. Thank you Skype creators! <3

Have a great weekend. Love Always. 

Hey there! 

I don’t know if I should put up a little tent in front of the opened fridge to stay there or simply put my head in the freezer for a while. It is almost mid-September and I feel like being in the tropics. This heat is wearing me down. Petit Joel and I spend a lot of time outside exploring or I am studying and reading while he plays in the waterpark. Again, it is September. You hear commercials on the radio to consider buying an outdoor pool because NOW is the time. I want this heat to stop. I know, I will regret this sentence as soon as winter hits Canada. My first real winter in Canada; however, I do prefer the cold over the heat for sure. There are always tons of layers I can wear to protect myself from the cold [unless I want to rough it out and walk around with just a cardigan in Toronto when it is minus 25 degrees Celsius] Or I can just wear this jacket. I learned that it has to be real fur on the hood because it makes all the difference and the coat needs to go down to the knees never just only to the hips. As far as the heat goes, what can I do? Walking around naked would still not make me feel more comfortable. Maybe some other people in the park but it would be still hot as hell. [This is how hell must feel – always exaggerating!]

I know, I am complaining; maybe because everything else went so well this far. Petit Joel is doing an awesome job in preschool and my courses at University go from amazing to fantastic. Just this heat, you guys. Wow! Usually, as soon as September [the ber-months!]rolls around I am filled with this warm, cozy feeling. Using a blanket at night again, tea, soups, nice comfy nights on the couch with a good book. Everything just feels so new; a new season and whatnot. Seeing things with fresh eyes in a way. I cannot wait to see leaves in every color and this crisp air that is just cold enough to wear a little cardigan in the morning. All those clothes that had been tucked away for so many months. That summer was definitely one of the best of my life. So many changes and adjustments, so much happened and still does. All the new people I already met and this new chapter of University is just great. 

Every single year I look forward to autumn. There was this time when le husband and I spent a couple of weeks of October in Canada and observed the changing of the leaves that turned into this bright yellow, bright red and just perfect colors. We walked through forests and I felt like being in a magical fairy land, just far enough away from the real world and in such awe. Remember this crunchy sound leaves make under your feet when you walk through the forest while the sunlight streams through the colorful leaves? With fall also comes this sweet melancholy. Almost like nothing can stay forever – the leaves turn, then fall, then it is winter. All the colorful beauty is gone. But then snow is right around the corner, right?

I am looking forward to fall-walks. Collecting leaves and sipping hot chocolate on a park bench. I also just want to be on a bus and not smell everybody’s naked armpits and be totally soaked in sweat after dropping off Petit Joel at preschool. Driving around in the car with the heater on while listening to music or staying in bed curled up next to le husband after waking up to those chilly morning before I have to go to school sounds sweet. Fall is definitely my most favorite season ever. Even growing up I loved it so much more than hot, humid summers. Halloween, anybody? Last year, Petit Joel and I went trick-or-treating for the first time. He wore a devil costume and thought the entire time he is a butterfly because of the wings. Halloween in this neighborhood will be awesome. Today, we drove around a bit [in the car with the AC on full blast] and got lost. There were yard sales/flea markets everywhere and kids selling cookies. I can just imagine how awesome trick-or-treating will be. It will be magical. As magical as the first fall frost in the morning. 

Nothing is better than seeing everything through the eyes of a child so this fall will be special. Petit Joel is old enough now to get the whole concept of Halloween and I will find him the best costume ever. Starting traditions with this little guy is so sweat. Hay rides, pumpkin and apple picking are on the agenda already. He drove me nuts today, but I just tucked him in, turned of his flashlight and kissed him goodnight which makes it all worth it. [Yes, finally he is quiet and I can enjoy my night in peace!]

Fall is just around the corner and I could not be happier. So I will soak it all up, every single last bit of summer and will patiently wait for fall. Who knows what next year will bring, right? Who knows where we will be. Crunch, crunch, crunch under my feet while I listen to the wind that will blow through the leaves. Two tiny hands will be waving and collecting leaves, sticks and stones. I am smiling at this thought and this is heaven to me. Just our little place of happiness in the huge universe. Just a little tiny space that is carved out in this sweet life we are able to enjoy. We will walk down the path of golden leaves. 

As I am typing this, it started to rain. Hard. Thunder and lightning. I close the windows a bit because it is getting chillier.