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.Things to Do at Work Besides Showing Up with a Clown Costume.*

*4-Year-Old’s Workday. 8:55 a.m. Arrive at office. Hang jacket on sunshine-shaped hook with name on it. Put snack in cubbyhole. Sing “Good Morning” song with co-workers. Tackle a Sudoku. Google “Best Toy Stores in Vienna” to see what’s new on the market. 9:04 a.m. Forward hilarious e-mail…

.How to Save Money.

Me, unsuccessfully looking for money in a stream on a private property. “Look, the Money is on my Account… aaaaand it’s Gone Already”… This is a sentence a colleague said the other day when it was payday. I thought it was so funny because she…

.How to Make the Impossible Possible.

First, let me start by saying that I’m perfectly aware that you can make the impossible possible by taking away the “im.” I’m way ahead of you on that one. So let’s all just know that we both thought of that joke but I made it first and that’s OK. Don’t be discouraged, this little failure shouldn’t preclude you from making the impossible possible.

The first step in making the impossible possible is to design a motivational poster for your room with the words Mission: Possible printed on it. It should be in the style of a movie poster. Underneath the words, you should paste in Tom Cruise’s likeness from Mission: Impossible, maybe a photo of him hanging suspended in air, horizontal to the ground in an all black suit. Remember that scene? You could even take a photo of the screen and then print it out. You’d have to rent the film first, if you don’t already own it.

I’m not saying that you have to pick that scene. You can really choose any image of Tom Cruise that you wish, though Mission: Impossible makes the most sense in this case. However, it might be funny to have a picture of him as a vampire from Interview with a Vampire where he’s all pale and old-timey New Orleans-y. You probably are really secretly into vampires too. I mean, everyone is.

Next, decide what you deem to be impossible.

Let’s say the impossible is getting that big presentation in to the boss on time. This seems impossible because you totally forgot about it this morning, as you were Facebook-ing and Twittering and what have you. Why were you doing this so early in the morning when you should have been preparing for the big presentation? Because you were slaphappy and hung over after being out late last night drinking martinis and Jager with friends after that big steak dinner where you played credit-card roulette. You won credit-card roulette, but you’re about to lose big time with the boss.

You can’t believe you did this to yourself because the presentation in front of your boss and all the foreign investors is in five minutes time! The investors are from Germany and Denmark (so very serious, strict, and no joke!) and they’ll only be here for two hours before they fly back home!! But you, like an idiot, decided to celebrate landing the deal before you even made the stupid presentation!

Don’t even wish that you had a time machine so you could pull off a Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure scenario (yeah, I am from the 80s and this was so cool!) where you talk about stealing your dad’s keys and by doing so actually steal your dad’s keys, but in this case it would apply to you actually preparing the presentation. You know what I’m saying. Or not, then google it.

You only have five minutes so I’ll break it down, minute by minute.

Minute One:
Look at your Mission: Possible poster for a full minute to gather inspiration.

Minute Two:
Look at your Mission: Possible poster for another minute just make sure that you’re properly inspired

Minute Three:
Say “Ah ha!” and put one finger up in the air. Maybe that’ll jolt some ideas into you.

Minute Four:
Wait for that feeling of blind panic to set in. This usually works when mothers see their children trapped under cars or something and summon the strength to lift the car and save them. A similar form of strength should come to you at this moment.

Minute Five:
With your newfound super strength, trash your office. Sweep everything off of your desk. Then upend it. Smash the light bulbs, take the files out of the file cabinets, and throw them in the air. Throw your briefcase out the window. Then run into the meeting where the bosses are breakfasting and shout, “I’ve been robbed! The thieves stole my report!” Make sure you look on the Internet and see how to translate this into German and Danish first.

Fine, I’ll do it for you.

German: “Ich wurde beraubt! Die Diebe haben meine Präsentation gestohlen!

Danish:Jeg har været berøvet! De tyve stjal min betækning!” (Memorize both, they might come in handy one day!)

The big time bosses will drop their coffee and croissants and yell their surprise in German and Danish and run as a group into your office. When they pile in they’ll see that it’s been trashed and immediately call the police. Then they’ll applaud your bravery. They’ll be so relieved that you weren’t hurt that they’ll take you out for a steak lunch and tell you to forget about the presentation because your calm under duress clearly demonstrates your force of character, and they can only assume that the presentation would have been topnotch.

Hey, guess what? You just made the impossible possible. Also, go watch Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure. It’s awesome and you might learn something new.

.How to Fly.

Let’s just get something straight, right off the bat. By reading this, you, as a human or a super-advanced future dog, are not going to learn how to actually fly. That’s just impossible. Do you have wings? No. Is your butt a jet pack? It…

.Jesus & The Easter Bunny.

Hey there, I’m Jesus Christ, the Son of God. I know things look bad for me right now, but I’m gonna be back in a few days, and when I return, I want all the eggs hidden. And I want the eggs to have candy…

.The Fun-Path to Self Awareness.

All self-aware, with nice nail polish, a new haircut and cute ringies.

Helllllooooo, my darlings! How are you holding up? Are you enjoying the long spring twilight? Kissing the whiskery faces of your pets and friends? Noticing the bright golden green of the April willows? I know you are. Here we are, in our bodies, in the world, listening to music and loving each other. Thank god for that. Let’s start with a little self-awareness test, shall we?

What’s your name? How tall are you? What is your occupation? Do you like it? Have you been feeling any dizziness or fatigue lately? But getting to know the real you is about asking yourself lots of questions. Much better questions than these.

It’s about exploring your strengths and weaknesses. Are you a good shooter? If not, then that’s a weakness. How about Pilates or Yoga? Hopefully one of those is a yes or your weakness column is starting to look like a nightmare.

Becoming self-aware may mean discovering aspects of yourself that you didn’t notice before, like that you’re double-jointed or divorced. But amidst all the positives, there is always the risk that you could end up liking yourself less. This happens rarely, but when it does, boy, it sucks.

You might think you know yourself, but how about the time in that restaurant when you were so sure you wanted the oysters, then spit it right out of your mouth? Or the time you bought that expensive shirt and then spit it out of your mouth? That doesn’t sound like someone who knows themselves very well or who understands what’s supposed to go in their mouth.

According to the renowned German psychologist Erik Erickson, people who lack self-awareness are experiencing an “identity crisis,” a condition that comes about when the person you think you are is different from the person you truly are. This happens a lot when you catch a glimpse of your rainbow-colored mandatory “Gender Awareness Course” name tag.

Self-awareness can often be the gateway to personal change. If you want to quit smoking, for example, you have to know that you’re a smoker first, so look down at your hand and see if there’s a cigarette there. If not, then what is that in your hand? A knife? What are you, some kind of murderer?

Only when you truly know who you are will you feel the sense of freedom to mock others. Someone might walk funny, for example, but before you can safely mock him, it’s important to know for sure that you don’t walk funny, too. Once you’re clear, let ’em have it, but still be nice, not mean.

Looking through old photos or diaries can be a great window into your relationships and life—a big piece of the self-awareness puzzle. Study the body language of the people in the photos with you. Do they seem to like you, or are they glaring at you and hitting you? Are there any pictures of you swimming with sharks? Are there pictures before and after your promotion? Were you happier before or after? Are there any pictures of you petting lions in Africa before you got malaria? Did you ever want to purchase land because “it looks good on Google Maps” and then signed the contract without checking it out first? Things like this can be a huge help in determining whether or not you like doing things like that.

Try writing your obituary. Do you know yourself well enough to write about your life, or do you keep getting facts wrong? Are you even sad that you died? Because you sure aren’t acting like it.

Look into a mirror and say hello to yourself. Did you say anything back or just leave yourself hanging? Try smiling, now frown, now look frightened, now embarrassed, now shocked like you just got slapped by someone. Do any of these emotions feel natural to you? Try walking away from the mirror, then sneaking up on yourself. Is your first reaction, “Oh, there I am”? Or is it, “Who the hell’s this raccoon?”

Install a mirror above your bed so the first thing you see every morning is you. Use the little camera in the mirror to film yourself having sex with someone, then post it on the Internet. Check the comments section to see if people are generally pretty positive. If so, then someone may have just found that strength he was looking for.

Remember, achieving self-awareness is a process. Even with all the mirrors and sex videos, the path is rarely clear but rather lined with mirages of our false selves. Each of us plays so many different roles in our lives: You might be a wife, husband, mother, father, sister, brother, daughter, son, boss, openandfree666 or hungdaddy9999, and a ballett or soccer coach all at the same time—so which “self” is the real you? It’s difficult to say, but fingers crossed it’s not the porny one. Or maybe that’s cool, too.

.Great Success – A Reflection.

Wow, you made it through kindergarten; what an accomplishment. Let’s throw a party and make you feel special—you deserve it after all you’ve been through. Those were challenging times, learning to figure out the system that you will be subjected to for the rest of…

.Don’t Get Married If… – Wisdom After Divorce.

Don’t get married before you live together. You just never know what the other person will be like to live with, and you need to figure that out before marriage. Definitely don’t tie the knot until you’ve traveled together. You absolutely have to find out…

.Spring Cleaning & Ideas To Spend Less.

It feels like there is a collective shift happening. Spring is around the corner. Everything changes. Spring cleaning and decluttering is always something I am looking forward to. So, who wants to join me in extending that energy to our consumption habits as a whole? Whether you’re looking to save money, reduce clutter, prioritize experiences, or help the environment, I’ve got 15 tips (plus a few book recommendations) to help you spend, want, and need less.

So, pour that pot of leftover morning coffee over some ice, add a splash of oat milk (maybe a drizzle of maple syrup and a pinch of flaky sea salt!), and let’s dive into ways to save money while fully enjoying the richness of life. Remember, our material possessions are a physical manifestation of our internal lives. With this in mind, let us begin.

15 Ways to Spend, Want & Need Less

1. Release the Guilt

We’re not here to dwell on past actions—just to move forward. Guilt won’t get you where you want to go, so let it go and celebrate that you’re making a change. Capitalism is a beast; our consumption habits didn’t happen in a vacuum. There’s lots of great insights out there on why we always want more, but for now, we embrace forward motion.

2. Then Start With Your Why

Knowing why you want to spend less will fuel your actions. Is it to save money? Reduce waste? Create a more peaceful home? Protect the environment? A form of resistance? Identify your core reason and carry it with you as you move through your personal course of action. 

3. Keep a Wishlist

Start a wishlist. Anytime you want something, add it—include a link if needed. Wait 48 hours before revisiting. You’ll be surprised how often the desire fades. I’ve done this for over a year, and 95% of what I once thought I “needed” no longer matters. And as a bonus— when someone asks you what you want for an upcoming holiday, you have some ideas ready to go!

4. Delete Shopping Apps

Amazon….—whatever tempts you. Removing these apps creates a barrier that forces you to pause before making a purchase. If it’s important enough, you’ll go to a web browser later.

5. Limit Social Media

For me, less scrolling often equates to less spending. I limit my social media time to a specific window and amount of time per day. Unfollowing accounts that make you feel like you need more can be a game-changer, too.

6. Unsubscribe From Promotional Emails

Retailers know exactly how to lure you in. Unsubscribing removes temptation. Sales are predictable now—holidays, Prime Day, Black Friday. If you truly need something, you’ll seek it out, but otherwise, you won’t be constantly nudged to spend.

7. Shop Secondhand or Borrow First

Check thrift stores, Facebook Marketplace, Buy Nothing groups, ThredUp, and eBay. You’d be amazed how often what you’re looking for is something someone else is trying to offload. And I’m making a conscious effort to text my friends about borrowing something instead of purchasing it.

8. Declutter

I know this one can be controversial (the endless cycle of decluttering and refilling), but intentional decluttering makes me painfully aware of waste. It can be a powerful way to stop the cycle of overconsumption.

9. Try a “Nothing New” Window

A week, a month, a year—whatever feels right. I recently did “no-new-books-for-3-months” and it completely shifted my perspective in so many ways— some expected and some unexpected. If an all-out ban feels overwhelming, set a spending limit instead. Make it a challenge and find the joy in rising to it. There is no dopamine hit like walking into a bookstore for one book and only buying that one book—pinky swear!

10. Shift to Less

Big changes don’t have to be all-or-nothing. Scaling things back just a little can make an impact. For birthdays and holidays, I keep gifts minimal —1-3 gifts each plus a couple of books, sometimes re-gifting within the family. 

11. Make It Aesthetic—or Don’t

We live in a chronically online world where everything is curated and sometimes we may feel the desire to adhere to those standards, but there’s a noticeable shift happening. If aesthetics matter to you, get creative with what you have—paint, repurpose, rearrange. Enjoy $0 makeover videos on YouTube for a new frame of mind.

12. Explore Free Local Resources

Start with your local library! Local farmers markets! Look into community swaps, free events, and tool or seed libraries, these resources exist for us— use them and support their continued existence in the process.

13. Gamify It

Love checking off lists or setting challenges? Apply that mindset here. Track no-spend days, set mini-goals, or reward yourself with a free treat.

14. Make Use of What You Have

Many everyday items we already own can serve multiple or entirely new purposes with just a little creativity. Instead of buying expensive storage solutions, repurpose clean plastic takeout containers or sturdy electronic boxes to organize small items around your home.

15. Keep a Gratitude Journal (and I know you have several journals lying around and always keep buying more!)

There’s power in recognizing what we already have. Grab a notebook (one of those partially used ones lingering on a shelf will do just fine!) and jot down five things you’re grateful for. Do this every night before you go to bed and try to identify different things each time. Contentment grows when we focus on abundance rather than lack.

Want to Dive Deeper? Some Book Recs:

The Art of Frugal Hedonism by Annie Raser-Rowland & Adam Grubb— This book is fantastic! A hilarious, practical guide featuring 51 ways to spend less while enjoying life more.

Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer— An exploration of reciprocity, gratitude, and our relationship with the natural world told through Kimmerer’s beautiful story-telling. 

Consumed by Aja Barber— A deep dive into fast fashion and consumer culture that raises important questions— the perfect resource for fueling your personal why. 

Four Thousand Weeks by Oliver Burkeman— This is one of my all-time favourite books and it works here too— when we focus on what matters most and our finite time here on earth, consumption seems dull in contrast.

No New Things: A Radically Simple 30-Day Guide to Saving Money, the Planet, and Your Sanity by Ashlee Piper— I loved Ashlee’s first book Give a Sh*t: Do Good. Live Better. Save the Planet. (which also has some great tips for spending less and using what you have!) so I’m eagerly anticipating this guide.

The Day the World Stops Shopping by J.B. MacKinnon— I recently discovered this and I’m excited to give it a try. This book challenges the assumption that endless growth is necessary for human well-being.

A Final Thought

When we approach anything with more mindfulness, the benefits ripple outward. Less stuff means more time for what truly matters—laughing with our kid(s), a nice, simple dinner with your family, feeling the sensation of crisp sheets as we climb into bed at night or building new memories through experiences (e.g. a nice travel destination), not by purchasing more stuff.

It’s never just about spending less—it’s about making space for more of what matters most and using the power of your money to create the world you want to live in. 

Tell me— in what ways have you found the joy in frugal actions or what tips do you have for curbing consumption in 2025? 

.Reasons I Should Have Another Child, Explained to Me by A Mother Whose House Is Burning Down.

You will LOVE having another kid! It’s the best. I mean look at that little face. Your son would have a sibling. Come on, you are not too old. You are what? Like 35? How could you say no to those chubby cheeks? Honestly, I don’t even…


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