.SOMETIMES RAW.

This week was all about running around getting thing done. We need vaccinations to visit my husband in Kinshasa/Congo which needs to be scheduled after a ton of paperwork has been filled out. Visa applications, phone calls to make, places to go and of course many playgrounds to check out. 

First I want to share a playground that my son and I visited which is really great. 

1. Playing around: Cherry Lawn Park in Darien/Norwalk. This park is for now definitely #1 on our list. You can find tennis courts, basketball courts, a big community garden and a wonderful playground area which my son loved. He is not even two years old and he did it all… slides,towers, climbing everything, playing in the sand and many toys that always remain at the playground. We spent two hours there and time flew by. He was so exhausted that all he needed was a light dinner, shower, two stories I had to read to him and he was out – perfect.  Another great part about this park is that there are clean public restrooms, even with changing areas. 

2. Reading: This awesome book by Haruki Murakami: “Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki and his years of pilgrimage.”  Book Review will be out on Sunday. Also read this article if you like –  Agatha Christie at The New Yorker:  Agatha Christie – The Queen of Crime. 

3. Watching: This.  Because all you need is love. Period! And this. As a huge Michel Houellebecq lover this documentary is a must. It is in English with German subtitles. 

4. Enjoying: Watching my son plays with his latest toy. He is occupied with this toy for up to 45 minutes which is great. 

Another add- on to the “enjoying-section”: SUSHI. Lots of sushi. I know the oceans are polluted, the fish is probably not as fresh as it is supposed to be and maybe it is not even healthy but sometimes I just love to have it so I do. Simple as that. The sushi at Oishi Sushi & Izakaya in Norwalk CT was indeed very fresh and delicious. My son and I ate there during lunchtime and the restaurant was not packed but not empty either. Just comfortable. The staff was very friendly by being attentive but not overly on top and stopping by every five minutes to ask if we want anything else. The selection is plentiful. Check their menu before you go there. For lunch I had: edamame salmon avocado roll, uni sashimi, tuna and salmon sashimi and a Dragon Roll. My son had: Butternut squash soup and a bowl of plain rice. I highly recommend this restaurant.

5. Listening to: This song.  So whenever I feel lonely or sad I listen to this song. My husband and I made this ‘our’ song. 🙂 Feel free to make it yours. 

Have a great weekend.

This is a question I would love to discuss with my friend Patrick Aigner from Sunnyside Café in Coburg. Check this place out whenever you are in Coburg/Germany –  it is magically special. As a book lover I think it is great that you are able to order your books through them (Amina & Patrick) at the café or on their website. Good coffee, cake, choices of breakfasts or snacks, and an awesome selection of books (from spiritual to Bukowski and back to spiritual) and simply a place to rest, think and stay awhile.

So, I walked the streets of Paris the night before my birthday and saw this sticker at one of the poles on the street. “Are you you?” I had to stop and take a picture while wondering who I really am and why I am born in this place and time and not another. Why not 400 years ago or even 500 years in the future? Maybe there is the possibility that I would not have been born at all? Do you think these questions make sense?

These questions are just big to me because it  addresses a fundamental aspect of being and so much more. So who am I really? Am I really one person? Maybe we are are all just characters (well, some of us are for sure!) in a novel or some story written down somewhere. Or we are just part of a dream or movie? How do we know all this around us is really there? Or why are we this particular person instead of another?

I personally think that these questions make a lot of sense and I have my own thoughts and ideas on all this. I think it all depends on how you describe “you”. I think you can be your story, your memories or your body. Then it is pretty clear. Then you are not someone else because nobody else is connected physically to your brain. The other take is the philosophical one when you think of “you” as the consciousness. Then you can say that you are you I believe. That you are unique sort of because you think. (“And therefore you are” – René Descartes)

I believe that there is just no way to be 100% sure that I am who I am. Simply because there is no way to tell if I am born only in this place and time. There is just no proof that I have not lived at any other point.  Isn’t it simply a miracle that one single tiny sperm is the fastest and creates life? Like WHY this one? Why am I me? Or why is my son my son? It could easily be that another sperm would have won this race to reach the egg no? Is it all meaningless? Is this just life?

Or is it possible that two or even more people have the same consciousness but we do not know it because we are not connected?

Philosophy Tuesday I guess 😀

Let me know your thoughts!

“Goodbyes are not forever. Goodbyes are not the end. They simply mean I miss you until we meet again.” – Jean-Joseph Henry [my husband says this all the time so it is kind of his quote]

I think it is normal to be homesick. Especially if your family is as awesome as mine and you have been away for quite some time now.  Here in the U.S. anything that reminds me of home triggers a little flash of homesickness. Yesterday I got some errands done with my son and we drove by a huge billboard that invited to the annual Oktoberfest here in Connecticut. Instantly I felt a little sad thinking about my family, the food, the people, the real Oktoberfest in Munich that starts soon. I was so fortunate to have spent a huge amount of time in Germany when my son was a baby and I can say that it was one of the best experiences I have had. Having been away for almost ten years and only visiting my family once or twice a year (and I consider myself very lucky on that one as well) it was great to actually live there again. To be back there and be able to enjoy all the goods and bads. This feeling of joy and comfort being around my entire family was the best.  To see all my good friends again after all this time was great too. (Hello Judith and Kirsten!) It is so much better to meet in real life even though we all have been in touch via Facebook, email and many other tools but you know what I am trying to say here. There is nothing like hugging an old friend at the Christmas Market in Coburg and crying your eyes out. 😀 Classic! In this world where everything is just so fast-paced you isolate yourself very quickly and end up losing touch to certain people if you do not work on it.

When it was time to say goodbye to my parents on July 10th I was overcome with this huge feeling of sadness. The way we said goodbye was different this time. Not like “Valley of Tears” (Frankfurt Airport) kind of crazy. It was calmer but made my heart hurt all the same. It is natural that we get older and everybody needs to go on their separate paths at some point. I cannot live with my parents for the rest of my life. I had to leave my “home-base” behind. So it is all back to good old Skype and FaceTime and tons of phone calls because I love to stay informed and connected to them and like to hear about their life, their stories, especially any major changes they go through.

This is life. We all make decisions to move in another direction – sometimes even drastically when I moved to New York. I am happy however that my family always supported me and helped me out when I needed them the most. I also know that no matter what happens, my family will always be there for me.

It does not matter where you go in the world as long as you are happy and you love the people you are with. Home is where your heart is, right? It sounds cheesy when I say I go wherever my husband goes but it is true. We will be going to Congo next and I think about it as a great opportunity as well to explore and learn new things. Has it all been worth it? Of course! Has it all been easy? Of course not! But life is not easy, especially if you think you have it all figured out and you found yourself a little routine then life throws you another curveball.

So how do I deal with my homesickness? Well, I consider myself really lucky to have my family in Germany, all alive and healthy. I can talk to them, see them and be with them. They are basically one plane ride away and I have to keep this in mind. I appreciate that I can travel and discover so many things here. And I always have to keep in mind that I chose to leave. The good part about traveling the world is to see and explore and to sort of let go of the past. When I get really really homesick I call my mom. I call her at least once a week (or emails, Skype messages etc.) and this way it is all good. I am up to date on everything, I love talking to her and we usually talk for three hours. Hab dich lieb Mama! <3  She could send me some of her world-best chicken noodle soups once in a while though. <3

You never know where life will take you. If you have been reading my blog from the beginning you know I am the perfect example. It is important to make the right choices for ourselves and go with the flow. To see things in a positive perspective and just don’t be afraid of change. You might miss out on some awesome experiences.