.SOMETIMES RAW.

“What made something precious? Losing it and finding it.”

I have to admit, I am a little late reading this book because it was published in March 2015 and I have heard so much about it. “Everything I never told you” has mostly good reviews but with the plethora of books that I am always reading, this one slipped through. However, I did buy a copy at Chapters in Ontario and started reading it at the store while my son played in the toy- area with Thomas Train and the train tracks they put up for the kids to enjoy. “Chapters” is awesome. I love this bookstore so much. And the personnel is so friendly and helpful. Here is my review if you would like to read.

The first two sentences in the book are “Lydia is dead. But they don’t know this yet”. I thought this was really catching and interesting. It made me want to figure out how you could start giving away the main plot and work around it and explain why this all happened. The book is about a mixed-race family (Chinese/Caucasian American) who lived in 1970s Ohio when mixed relationships like theirs were uncommon. You soon realize that Lydia is the favorite child of Marilyn and James. Lydia (sixteen-years-old) has an older brother, Nathan, and a younger sister, Hannah. You almost don’t hear anything about Hannah. The mother actually did not set the table for her once because she forgot Hannah was even there. Sad, I though! Marilyn and James had dreams but they never fulfilled them. James never got the Harvard teaching position he wanted and Marilyn wanted to become a doctor but did not continue studying when she got pregnant and married James. Lydia is supposed to fulfill their dreams and both parents want her to be better and improve her studies.

While reading this book I saw again how hard it must have been for a woman in the 70s to reach a good position on the job market or in the man’s world. It was defiantly not easy for women throughout this time. Marilyn read science books to her daughter as a bedside store to make her fall asleep. At some point Ng describes how Marilyn left the family and how traumatized both kids were because she wanted to pursue her dreams of a doctorate in medicine and simply studying again. Marilyn returns but halfheartedly and mostly because of her pregnancy with Hannah. Lydia did not want her mother to leave again so she thought studying and working with her mother works well to keep her at home.

I found it very difficult to read how Marilyn and James focused their attention on Lydia while her oldest son got accepted at Harvard University and nobody paid any attention to the youngest sister Hannah. Hannah just suffered in silence throughout the entire novel but here and then you do get a glimpse of her feelings. At the same time both sister and brother realize how the parents focus on the middle daughter Lydia. You learn in the story how all this affected the children and more. What they experienced at school, racism and gender equality.

Overall, I mostly felt for Marilyn and how she tried to go back to school to change something in her life. I highly recommend the book. Especially, if you want to read about characters that are masterfully described and developed. Also, if you enjoy a story on how it must have felt to be in a mixed-couple relationship in the 70s and the struggles they experienced from society.

Thank you for reading my blog. 

Hello!

Take a close look at your life. We do live in a society based on profoundly divided values. Everybody expects something from us – whatever you do, wherever you go. It starts already when you are in school. Your parents expect you to get good grades. Be the best at Basketball. Get that damn promotion. Work harder! You push yourself hard but at the same time social rules tell us to support others. To help and be there for others no matter what. Doesn’t this feel like your are at a T-junction? Which way do you go?

A friend of mine told me about a situation she experienced that was very stressful for her. She needed to schedule a bachelorette party which involved a lot of research, planning and scheduling. She was a mess throughout that time because she wanted to make this party very special. At the same time she had stress at work and stress with her boyfriend. At what point do you hit the pause-button? When is enough enough? Where is the line between honoring your obligations to yourself and the obligations to others? Is there a stage between being selfish and between responsible self-care?

If you happen to be a woman, society usually puts a mirror in front of you and basically tells you that if you act like a successful woman, you are bad. On the other hand, if you act like a good woman, you are judged as an unsuccessful person. So how do you deal with all this without losing your mind? I would say that the only place to look for sanity is inside you. Sometimes you just have to push things away to see clearly again. You cannot be there for everyone at all times. You have to find a path that is healthy for you. And what society tells you to do and expects from you – who cares! Take time for yourself and enjoy your own company. Are you comfortable being alone which is still different than being lonely? Are you comfortable being you? Weird questions? I don’t think so. Broaden your horizon. 😉

On this not, my husband told me about the band “Alabama Shakes” yesterday that I never heard of before. This song  is so awesome if you would like to watch. Also check out this one. Have a great day!

Thank you for reading my blog. 

Hello!

Everybody tells you that you need to drink at least 8 glasses of water a day, right? And that water is so important and you should prefer it over any sugary drink. It is all good; however, have you ever asked yourself what you are really drinking when you consume water? I am speaking tab water or bottled water (Evian, Volvic, Aquafina, Poland Spring etc.) Have you ever wondered if any of these ingredients they put in bottled water are harmful for you? Let me share with  you what I have research over at least one year now.

Water is important. Without drinking it, we die after approximately three days! On the other hand, we can survive for weeks without food. One of the most important benefits of water in the body is that it supports the efficient removal of toxins and waste from internal organs. And believe me, there are a lot of toxins. All the other drinks like alcohol, coffee, sodas  or energy drinks all do cause dehydration. If you don’t drink enough water, you can literally clog up. The kidneys, liver and colon will suffer.

The other question is if your water is safe to drink. You think your tab water is safe because the government controls it? 🙂 Yep, Santa Clause exists too. See this label of an Evian water bottle for example:

What it all this stuff? Sulfates? They tell me, don’t use shampoos with sulfate in it because it is bad for your hair and then I drink it? Chloride? Silica? All the stuff they ban from creams. Well, let me tell you the sad news. The government does not even have to list all the ingredients in our drinking water. Is it safer to drink bottled water? Not really. Have you ever drank any bottled water and it tasted weird? You usually do prefer one type of water and keep purchasing this particular brand right? Aquafina for example I never liked. It tasted weird to me. Every water tastes different because they put all type of chemicals in them. In your tab or bottled water you can find chlorine or fluoride. And you hear everywhere you should brush your teeth with a toothpaste without fluoride, correct? On some of the bottled water I have seen even has chlorine and arsenic as listed ingredients. Insane no? What scares me here is the fact that you DO need to drink water.

I understand that the water companies have to add some type of chemical that kills certain bacteria. But you should not drink the water in a public pool either which is full of chlorine. Or the chlorinated ice-cubes in your drink at a restaurant? I could go on and on.

What can you do about this? Not much honestly. You could buy land and have your own well. Then at least you can control to some extend what type of water you are drinking. Of course this water needs to be tested as well. The soil and ground are full of toxins too. Hormons, chemicals that  farmers use on their fields, heavy metals, medicine, blood, basically all these things are in our soil. Or where did you think all this waste is going? The waterworks cannot filter all the water and they simply won’t. I don’t know if you can get your drinking tab water tested in the States but in Germany it is possible indeed. Usually waterworks make the water clear but not clean! Sad but true! Dirty water like this can lead to chronic illnesses, nerve disorders and much more.

So I got myself a water filter. I am not talking Britta Filter here. This is the water filter I use at home for now. I am planning on getting one from  Company HPreiss but I want to settle somewhere first for this awesome water filter system to be installed. This is my water filter:

I used my water filter for six months now and love it. Usually I take filtered water with me wherever I go and fill it in one of these bottles:

The water tastes amazing, you guys. Very clean and smooth. And there is nothing in it but water which is how it is supposed to be. Everything bad filtered out. In Germany we did sent in a sample of the water to have it tested and the company called us to let us know that the water is actually pure. Amazing, no? Well, this Dr.Prof. whatever told us too that you need all these chemicals in the water because there are also minerals in it. I don’t believe in this! I do get my minerals through the food I am eating.

Have a good day, and drink a glass of filtered water. Let me know if you have any questions about these filter systems.

Thank you for reading my blog.