.SOMETIMES RAW.

Thomas, you are a wonderful friend and the best brother. I could not have asked for a better sibling in life. Today you are 29 years old and it seems it was just yesterday since we played in our tree house and in the park. Time flies. And as always, I am really proud of you. You are a good-hearted, smart (Statistics, ha!), strong and loving person.

Happy birthday, brother! I love you so so much.

Advance Reading Copy Disclosure:

Thanks to BookLookBlogger and the publisher for providing me with a free copy in exchange for an honest review. I have read Not Without my Daughter by Betty Mahmoody and I have seen the movie based on mentioned book.  This drew my attention to this book, as well as the cover and title. This does not affect my opinion of the content or the book in my review.

“What Kombiz didn’t understand was that I didn’t need to talk to my dad to make peace with his place in my life. I did that years earlier, and I laboriously repeated the process each time he resurfaced. This was no exception.” 

Hello!

IT seems everybody heard about the movie Not Without my Daughter or at least read the book of the same title by Betty Mahmoody. Not Without my Daughter told the story of Betty Mahmoody, an American mother who saved herself and her daughter from her husband when they lived in Iran. Have you ever wondered what happened to the daughter? I did and I was happy to have discovered the book My Name is Mahtob. You read about Mahtob’s point of view and her take on the story; back, when she was an only five-year old. How she had to witness when her mom had been beaten by her father, how they have been held hostage in Iran, as well as their escape over the mountains. Mahtob lived in constant fear of being “legally” kidnapped again, as her father has threatened to do. Besides that, he threatened to kill her mother.

When they finally made it back to America, Mahtob’s emotional journey was not over however. She dealt with panic attacks, nightmares, changed her name and survived a life-threatening illness. At some point, the book is written through the eyes of a child, which made me realize again how much kids in fact do perceive and understand. Mahtob memorized so many details about these eighteen months she spent in Iran that are different from her mother’s story. It is also shocking to read about the school she attended in Iran – even more the entire school system. This is a very honest book and you won’t find her sugar-coating anything. It is a great follow-up if you have read Not Without my Daughter. 

Also, did you know that Mahtob’s father, Sayyed Mahmoody, wrote a book as well? Which also had been made into a movie? Get Betty Mahmoody’s follow-up For the Love of a Child here.

Thank you for reading my blog. 

Hello!

If you have seen the movie Inside Out you know who is depicted in the picture above. Sadness! Sometimes I do think the world is a sad place. What is going on with the food, water, fracking, pollution and such. At some point, I just don’t know what to believe anymore. Is it good to eat organic? Or is it all poisoned as well? Is it okay to grow your own veggies or is the soil polluted to the point that I would be better off eating at a fast food chain? While all this is on my mind I think what values I teach my son. The values that I have and try to live by and at the same time raising my son in this world we are living in is tough sometimes. Some days I think about these things more, sometimes less; however, the thoughts are always present somewhere in my head. I always have been an emotional person, but since I became a mom it transformed into this stage of insanity. Even more emotions and more thinking. It is insane. Can’t anybody tell one all these things before having a child? Isn’t it hard enough already to be a woman? 🙂

Recently I received some Pixi Books from my favorite bookstore in Coburg – Riemann. I read to my son every single night, no matter what. Reading these Pixi-books to him – about this world of happiness and no problems makes me feel good. I am looking forward to all the changes that are about to happen, all the adventures my son will experience and enjoy. We always change. Change is present and around us at all times. We will move, travel, kindergarten, school, university or some other major milestones are around the corner. These are all big shifts in our little lives and it is okay but weird at the same time. I think about summer of 2015 which seemed it was just last month. We spent time at the beach as a family, I was glad to enjoy the entire spring and beginning of summer with my parents and see my son enjoy my parent’s garden. So let’s see what 2016 brings. This year is almost over which makes me emotional every time. This change, change in weather, temperature and season get me every time. I need  sun, and if there is none I get miserable. Yep, no sun here in Coburg for several days now. Vitamins D intake: increased! 

But usually, change is good. I am not a person to like routine too much. I feel bored easily. This being said, I am looking forward to change. To something new and excited and see where it all leads us; my family and I. So, here we are. The last couple of days in December. As I always say, how did this all happen? And why so fast? To look outside and see how things have changed since July when I have last been here it feels so strange in a way. The leaves are mostly gone, or brown. Life goes on. Things change. I look at my son and he looks so big and so grown-up out of a sudden. Didn’t I just carry him around all over the place and was tired of it and thought how nice it would be if he would already be able to walk? And now he runs and I can barely catch him. He is not a baby anymore. He talks, has his occasional tantrums (not bad, thankfully!) and a mind of his own. It is just so exciting. I am so happy that I am able to connect with my family here in Germany. Especially this time of the year. To see them all, my grandparents, uncle, aunt and family. My family is pretty small, so I treasure them even more. 

For the rest of the month I wish time would slow down a bit. I will think a bit harder about how I end up spending my time and with whom. There is literally no time to waste. What will happen in 2016? Will we be able to grow our family? Who knows and I don’t really push for anything. Whatever will happen will happen. I am glad to be in the here and now and I will focus only on this and at the present moment. I am thankful for what I have and looking forward to new opportunities and adventures while wiping away this tiny tear at the corner of my eye. 

Thank you for reading my blog.