.SOMETIMES RAW.

Hello and Happy Tuesday! 

I had the most perfect birthday today. It all started with a doctor’s visit with Petit Joel and we needed to wait two hours with appointment. I forgot my phone (Nooooooooo!) and the office was packed with sick, coughing, puking kids. We waited outside for a while and Joel played on the stairs. This entertained him for approximately 15 minutes. I went back upstairs and told the receptionist that I will be at the café next door and if the doctor is ready to see us she should call the café. She looked at me weird but then agreed. So there I sat, with my son, enjoying a cup of coffee, chocolate cake, apple juice and a pretzel while teaching him a birthday song. Thankfully there were toys for him to play. Funny how the sales person at the café called me to see the doctor by screaming loud in the café: “Mrs. Henry, the doctor is ready to see Joooooeeeeeeeel!” [Not that anybody was looking at us…- who the hell cares!]

Petit Joel is fine. Nothing a little antibiotics cannot fix and this is the only important thing. I spent my birthday morning with my son at the doctors office and we found something positive out of this as well. I try and practice gratitude every single day. Today, I turned 35 years old and I am thankful to have spent this day with so many wonderful people. People who mean the world to me. With my parents who did everything possible to make my day special. I am grateful for all the phone calls I received and messages. I want to thank all you people for continuously visiting my blog, commenting, emailing and reading what I have to say. You are all part of my little internet world. I am grateful for friends who just stopped by and dropped off a bottle of red wine (Thank you Michaela!) or others who bought me books (always love you Veronika!), tea, chocolates, a movie ticket (Great movie night with Susi! Thank you for your friendship!) and so much more. I feel loved! 

I am thankful for le husband who makes all this possible in his loving, sweet way. Je t’aime mon amour. There are most likely not enough words to describe or be able to encompass this depth of my feelings I have for him. I am grateful for this marriage and our love. 

My family here in Germany is the best! Some days are rough, some days are tough but most days are fantastic. We have been through thick and thin together – and we are as close as a family can be. I love you all forever! 

I am also thankful for my TOMs shoes, Netflix, the internet, being able to study at Carleton University in September, Canada, dark chocolate, Windsor Castle English Breakfast Tea, my long hair, my eyes so I can see all this beauty, letters and phone calls from friends, my brother, my sister (even though it is kinda rough these days), Nadine Glitzer, raspberries and so much more. I could go on and on. You get the point. Have a great evening/night and a wonderful day tomorrow. My eyes are burning, it is time to sleep for me. I will check on Petit Joel one more time, turn out his tiny flashlight and kiss him goodnight. 

Versteckspiel – Artwork Mischa Schenkel

Hello and Happy Saturday!

Since the Reiki seminar and many hours spent with Martina and Uwe with tons of conversations it finally clicked in a bunch of departments in my brain. Certain things make sense – more sense than ever before. It has been a bit over one year now that I attended Reiki seminars or have seen my Reiki Master on a weekly basis. I also practice meditation. On top of that, with my upcoming birthday next week I figured that it is time to stop worrying about certain things in life. Worrying what others might think for example, dumb rules prescribed by even more clueless people and just this certain knowledge who and who I don’t want to have in my closest circle are some essentials I have been dealing with. My motto is live and let live; however, having been on this planet for quite some time now I am pretty much over a lot of things. 

I worried for a long time what other people might think of me, my life and their opinions. It is not important at all what others think and I realized that whenever I listened to it, my life was full of negativity. So I just stopped worrying about it. Simple as that because it is just a waste of time.

If you followed my blog for a while now, you know that I am not into fashion at all. Germany’s/America’s next Top Model? Who the hell cares. The fashion they are wearing walking up and down the catwalk… who the hell cares. I am discovering my body and what looks good on me – what I feel comfortable wearing. Not what anybody tells me that is suppose to look good. I don’t want to fit in just because. Some people try to fit in all their life and don’t understand that it is not important at all because those people you think you need to belong to or impress are just so boring and empty. Empty shells! I don’t want to be like anybody. I want to do my own thing – the way it suits me fine. 

I also stopped worrying about my ex(es). We broke up for a reason. Why holding on to any feelings, emotions and whatnot. It is over. I have to move on no matter what he thinks of me. The same goes for certain relationships with friends. Some people are just bad for me and I don’t want to be around them anymore. Sometimes it is just better to go separate ways – deleting virtual Facebook friendship only means you don’t want to see anything this person posts anymore. Keep in mind, this is just virtual. 

We all make/made mistakes. This is life. However, these mistakes do not define me. They are just pieces in my life that shaped me into who I am right here and now. This is all and it is okay. All these “mistakes” won’t hold me back – they don’t ruin my life. They were necessary and I am in a way even grateful for them.

Social Media. Social Media is not real life. If anybody “likes”, “retweets” what I write or “unfriends” me on Facebook, I don’t care. It is all good, I am fine. 

I had, hands-down, the best Reiki session today. It was so eye-opening and made me realize that my body is perfect the way it is. I love myself; it is my body and that is all that matters. Yesterday night at Samba I saw women who did not have the “perfect 90-60-90” body; however, they danced and had this self-confidence that blew my mind. It was perfection. I felt love. If you don’t love your body, you KNOW how to change things in your life to make it perfect for you. I mean, we all have the opportunities, options and knowledge available to make a change. Whenever it comes to status symbols: Who the hell cares if I carry a real Vuitton or Chanel purse? Only fake friends, right? It doesn’t make me a better person. It does not define me. As far as makeup goes: WHO even knows and sees if I am wearing Chanel or Maybelline makeup? 

Sometimes, things are out of my control. I cannot change it. These are the things I don’t worry about and waste my energy on anymore. Maybe this is food for thought. Maybe not. You decide. 

[And yes, Jean: I want Versteckspiel – the Original by Mischa Schenkel as a birthday gift! :)]

Hello and Happy Wednesday!

Le husband is French and I am German and we love to keep our traditions alive. In Germany or France, dinner is usually a light meal. Just some bread, cheese, sausages and a salad or olives and that is it. The whole family comes together, we all sit at the table, eat, laugh, live and talk about our day. In France you would enjoy wine with it and in Germany mostly beer. Then again, wine is fine with me, hah! When le husband and I had our little apartment in Manhattan there was a ritual we usually celebrated every Friday – French Revolution Night. Sounds funny, but we were looking forward to this all week. Le husband was in charge to buy the wine and I bought some french cheese (Le Rustique at a whopping $9.99 but who cares, right?), fresh olives and baguette. Done! So when we came home from work we talked about our day and our week while sipping on a glass of wine first to wind down. Sometimes we took our dinner upstairs to the rooftop of our building. Manhattan-life at its finest.

French Revolution Night is so easily done. All you need is some appetizers, red grapes that add this delicious sweetness to everything, Crostini, Baguette, maybe a dip or two, olives, a couple of different French cheeses and of course a (two) bottle(s) of red wine. (Le husband and I prefer Bordeaux)

Sometimes if le husband is in a really good mood, he makes his world famous French Onion Soup. One word: YUM!

I am German and our traditional dinner here looks somewhat like this:

Cheese plate is essential of course but if we want to add a delicious twist to our dinner, we switch over to the German charcuterie board. Once in a while I do enjoy a slice of ham, mortadella, salami, sausages, prosciutto or pâté with some mustard, black olives, cornichon pickles and bread. It really only takes minutes to put together and is also a great party/summer dinner if you have friends over. 

A charcuterie board is best served with cold beer, Lambrusco, chilled rosé or of course a glass of Bordeaux which goes to almost everything, right? When I was in France with le husband a couple of years ago I was amazed to see a wine fountain next to the water fountain at a restaurant. Gotta love France!