Sick Little Guy.

Hello and Happy Tuesday! 

I hope you all had a better day than I did. Petit Joel is sick and I am sick of him being sick. It is so horrible. I mean, I try to do anything and everything possible but it is so tough when you are alone. My mom is here too, but this is clearly my job. I am the one who is up all night and my mom always says that she used to do it all too; thirty years ago.

Petit Joel woke up yesterday morning with a crazy cold – out of nowhere. Okay, we drove around with our bicycles on Sunday evening but we both had jackets on. It was not that cold outside and he was fine. He was also fine playing outside after our little ride and while eating dinner. Monday morning he woke up and was so sick. Runny and stuffy nose; coughing like crazy but thankfully no temperature. He was cranky, cried mostly all Monday and wanted to be carried by ME ONLY. Fun for the first five minutes but that is it. He weighs 17 kg by now. 

We all have had a cold. It sucks. There is no sugarcoating. I know how he feels because I have been there. But c’moooooon. Give me a break. I mean, nonstop crying toddler is hardcore. And it is not that I didn’t try to make it as comfortable as possible for him. I made him breakfast: he did not want it. I asked him if he wants to eat anything else: Banana. I sliced him a banana: he did not want it. I gave him something to drink: he did not want it and spilled it of course over my book that was on the table. And this was just the morning. With a nervous, angry side-eye I tried to stay calm repeating that “I know he is sick and it is not his fault!” As the day continued, he became more and more miserable. NOTHING was right. I knew he was really sick when he asked for a blanket to curl up in and a hoodie because he is cold. He never asks for those things. Also, when he wanted to GO TO BED. The night from Monday to Tuesday he and I did not sleep that much. I still have a baby phone for the night on VERY silent but I still wake up every time he makes a tiny noise. This poor little guy tried to find a comfortable position to sleep in but he could not! [And lack of sleep: SUCKS!] 

Today it was even worse. Runny, stuffy nose, angry most of the day, crying most of the day, coughing most of the day and just miserable all over. I did not get angry at him – why would I. But when I try to make him feel better and he screams and yells at me, this is when I eventually snapped. He does not let me clean his nose because his nose is holy and soar at this point. Nose spray: forget it! Wiping his nose: forget it! Cough sirup: forget it! Cough sirup mixed with apple juice: forget it, he is not dumb. I try to make him feel better, breathe better and get a break from the coughing: no chance. Then I lost it. I got so mad. WHY ?????? “I am not hurting him, I want to help him”, I thought while he cried his head off and I waited patiently for him to drink his “apple juice”. He looked at me and said, “No apple juice, mommy. Joel sleep!” So I put him back to bed. He continued coughing for about half an hour and passed out exhausted. 

What a terrifying two days. My mom just laughs at all this and said I should  just put a wet towel with some essential oils she gave me in his room. “Hahahah, you and your siblings were sick so much, it is not a big deal. Stop worrying. Nobody dies from a cold”, while telling me good night and smiling. Days and moments like this made me realize how much I love this little guy of mine. I know I would do anything and everything possible to make him feel better. He is  the love of my life. 

[While I am as quiet as possible going upstairs and downstair to not wake him up my mom just screamed from upstairs: I was just in his room, he is fine! He sleep like rock! Good night! “] Gotta love my mom.