.SOMETIMES RAW.

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Helllllooooo, my darlings! How are you holding up? Are you enjoying the long spring twilight? Kissing the whiskery faces of your pets and friends? Noticing the bright golden green of the April willows? I know you are. Here we are, in our bodies, in the world, listening to music and loving each other. Thank god for that. Let’s start with a little self-awareness test, shall we?

What’s your name? How tall are you? What is your occupation? Do you like it? Have you been feeling any dizziness or fatigue lately? But getting to know the real you is about asking yourself lots of questions. Much better questions than these.

It’s about exploring your strengths and weaknesses. Are you a good shooter? If not, then that’s a weakness. How about Pilates or Yoga? Hopefully one of those is a yes or your weakness column is starting to look like a nightmare.

Becoming self-aware may mean discovering aspects of yourself that you didn’t notice before, like that you’re double-jointed or divorced. But amidst all the positives, there is always the risk that you could end up liking yourself less. This happens rarely, but when it does, boy, it sucks.

You might think you know yourself, but how about the time in that restaurant when you were so sure you wanted the oysters, then spit it right out of your mouth? Or the time you bought that expensive shirt and then spit it out of your mouth? That doesn’t sound like someone who knows themselves very well or who understands what’s supposed to go in their mouth.

According to the renowned German psychologist Erik Erickson, people who lack self-awareness are experiencing an “identity crisis,” a condition that comes about when the person you think you are is different from the person you truly are. This happens a lot when you catch a glimpse of your rainbow-colored mandatory “Gender Awareness Course” name tag.

Self-awareness can often be the gateway to personal change. If you want to quit smoking, for example, you have to know that you’re a smoker first, so look down at your hand and see if there’s a cigarette there. If not, then what is that in your hand? A knife? What are you, some kind of murderer?

Only when you truly know who you are will you feel the sense of freedom to mock others. Someone might walk funny, for example, but before you can safely mock him, it’s important to know for sure that you don’t walk funny, too. Once you’re clear, let ’em have it, but still be nice, not mean.

Looking through old photos or diaries can be a great window into your relationships and life—a big piece of the self-awareness puzzle. Study the body language of the people in the photos with you. Do they seem to like you, or are they glaring at you and hitting you? Are there any pictures of you swimming with sharks? Are there pictures before and after your promotion? Were you happier before or after? Are there any pictures of you petting lions in Africa before you got malaria? Did you ever want to purchase land because “it looks good on Google Maps” and then signed the contract without checking it out first? Things like this can be a huge help in determining whether or not you like doing things like that.

Try writing your obituary. Do you know yourself well enough to write about your life, or do you keep getting facts wrong? Are you even sad that you died? Because you sure aren’t acting like it.

Look into a mirror and say hello to yourself. Did you say anything back or just leave yourself hanging? Try smiling, now frown, now look frightened, now embarrassed, now shocked like you just got slapped by someone. Do any of these emotions feel natural to you? Try walking away from the mirror, then sneaking up on yourself. Is your first reaction, “Oh, there I am”? Or is it, “Who the hell’s this raccoon?”

Install a mirror above your bed so the first thing you see every morning is you. Use the little camera in the mirror to film yourself having sex with someone, then post it on the Internet. Check the comments section to see if people are generally pretty positive. If so, then someone may have just found that strength he was looking for.

Remember, achieving self-awareness is a process. Even with all the mirrors and sex videos, the path is rarely clear but rather lined with mirages of our false selves. Each of us plays so many different roles in our lives: You might be a wife, husband, mother, father, sister, brother, daughter, son, boss, openandfree666 or hungdaddy9999, and a ballett or soccer coach all at the same time—so which “self” is the real you? It’s difficult to say, but fingers crossed it’s not the porny one. Or maybe that’s cool, too.

It feels like there is a collective shift happening. Spring is around the corner. Everything changes. Spring cleaning and decluttering is always something I am looking forward to. So, who wants to join me in extending that energy to our consumption habits as a whole? Whether you’re looking to save money, reduce clutter, prioritize experiences, or help the environment, I’ve got 15 tips (plus a few book recommendations) to help you spend, want, and need less.

So, pour that pot of leftover morning coffee over some ice, add a splash of oat milk (maybe a drizzle of maple syrup and a pinch of flaky sea salt!), and let’s dive into ways to save money while fully enjoying the richness of life. Remember, our material possessions are a physical manifestation of our internal lives. With this in mind, let us begin.

15 Ways to Spend, Want & Need Less

1. Release the Guilt

We’re not here to dwell on past actions—just to move forward. Guilt won’t get you where you want to go, so let it go and celebrate that you’re making a change. Capitalism is a beast; our consumption habits didn’t happen in a vacuum. There’s lots of great insights out there on why we always want more, but for now, we embrace forward motion.

2. Then Start With Your Why

Knowing why you want to spend less will fuel your actions. Is it to save money? Reduce waste? Create a more peaceful home? Protect the environment? A form of resistance? Identify your core reason and carry it with you as you move through your personal course of action. 

3. Keep a Wishlist

Start a wishlist. Anytime you want something, add it—include a link if needed. Wait 48 hours before revisiting. You’ll be surprised how often the desire fades. I’ve done this for over a year, and 95% of what I once thought I “needed” no longer matters. And as a bonus— when someone asks you what you want for an upcoming holiday, you have some ideas ready to go!

4. Delete Shopping Apps

Amazon….—whatever tempts you. Removing these apps creates a barrier that forces you to pause before making a purchase. If it’s important enough, you’ll go to a web browser later.

5. Limit Social Media

For me, less scrolling often equates to less spending. I limit my social media time to a specific window and amount of time per day. Unfollowing accounts that make you feel like you need more can be a game-changer, too.

6. Unsubscribe From Promotional Emails

Retailers know exactly how to lure you in. Unsubscribing removes temptation. Sales are predictable now—holidays, Prime Day, Black Friday. If you truly need something, you’ll seek it out, but otherwise, you won’t be constantly nudged to spend.

7. Shop Secondhand or Borrow First

Check thrift stores, Facebook Marketplace, Buy Nothing groups, ThredUp, and eBay. You’d be amazed how often what you’re looking for is something someone else is trying to offload. And I’m making a conscious effort to text my friends about borrowing something instead of purchasing it.

8. Declutter

I know this one can be controversial (the endless cycle of decluttering and refilling), but intentional decluttering makes me painfully aware of waste. It can be a powerful way to stop the cycle of overconsumption.

9. Try a “Nothing New” Window

A week, a month, a year—whatever feels right. I recently did “no-new-books-for-3-months” and it completely shifted my perspective in so many ways— some expected and some unexpected. If an all-out ban feels overwhelming, set a spending limit instead. Make it a challenge and find the joy in rising to it. There is no dopamine hit like walking into a bookstore for one book and only buying that one book—pinky swear!

10. Shift to Less

Big changes don’t have to be all-or-nothing. Scaling things back just a little can make an impact. For birthdays and holidays, I keep gifts minimal —1-3 gifts each plus a couple of books, sometimes re-gifting within the family. 

11. Make It Aesthetic—or Don’t

We live in a chronically online world where everything is curated and sometimes we may feel the desire to adhere to those standards, but there’s a noticeable shift happening. If aesthetics matter to you, get creative with what you have—paint, repurpose, rearrange. Enjoy $0 makeover videos on YouTube for a new frame of mind.

12. Explore Free Local Resources

Start with your local library! Local farmers markets! Look into community swaps, free events, and tool or seed libraries, these resources exist for us— use them and support their continued existence in the process.

13. Gamify It

Love checking off lists or setting challenges? Apply that mindset here. Track no-spend days, set mini-goals, or reward yourself with a free treat.

14. Make Use of What You Have

Many everyday items we already own can serve multiple or entirely new purposes with just a little creativity. Instead of buying expensive storage solutions, repurpose clean plastic takeout containers or sturdy electronic boxes to organize small items around your home.

15. Keep a Gratitude Journal (and I know you have several journals lying around and always keep buying more!)

There’s power in recognizing what we already have. Grab a notebook (one of those partially used ones lingering on a shelf will do just fine!) and jot down five things you’re grateful for. Do this every night before you go to bed and try to identify different things each time. Contentment grows when we focus on abundance rather than lack.

Want to Dive Deeper? Some Book Recs:

The Art of Frugal Hedonism by Annie Raser-Rowland & Adam Grubb— This book is fantastic! A hilarious, practical guide featuring 51 ways to spend less while enjoying life more.

Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer— An exploration of reciprocity, gratitude, and our relationship with the natural world told through Kimmerer’s beautiful story-telling. 

Consumed by Aja Barber— A deep dive into fast fashion and consumer culture that raises important questions— the perfect resource for fueling your personal why. 

Four Thousand Weeks by Oliver Burkeman— This is one of my all-time favourite books and it works here too— when we focus on what matters most and our finite time here on earth, consumption seems dull in contrast.

No New Things: A Radically Simple 30-Day Guide to Saving Money, the Planet, and Your Sanity by Ashlee Piper— I loved Ashlee’s first book Give a Sh*t: Do Good. Live Better. Save the Planet. (which also has some great tips for spending less and using what you have!) so I’m eagerly anticipating this guide.

The Day the World Stops Shopping by J.B. MacKinnon— I recently discovered this and I’m excited to give it a try. This book challenges the assumption that endless growth is necessary for human well-being.

A Final Thought

When we approach anything with more mindfulness, the benefits ripple outward. Less stuff means more time for what truly matters—laughing with our kid(s), a nice, simple dinner with your family, feeling the sensation of crisp sheets as we climb into bed at night or building new memories through experiences (e.g. a nice travel destination), not by purchasing more stuff.

It’s never just about spending less—it’s about making space for more of what matters most and using the power of your money to create the world you want to live in. 

Tell me— in what ways have you found the joy in frugal actions or what tips do you have for curbing consumption in 2025? 

Dear reader: I have been stuck at home with a horrible cold for the last couple of days but am on the road to recovery. Yay! I have been thinking quite a lot these days (besides sleeping, this was the only thing I was really able to do) and came up with some mindfulness that I would like to share.

How are you? Are you healthy? Are you happy? I don’t mean do you have everything you want in life, but are you generally pleased? No one is happy all of the time, and no one should be. Our bad days make the good so much shinier – how would you know what’s right if you didn’t know what was wrong? It seems silly, but awareness about ourselves and our feelings can have such a big impact on our attitudes. Before we can grow and move forward, we need to make peace with where we are in our lives and figure out how to love ourselves for, not in spite of, it.

What gets you back on track? If you find yourself distracted, put away the phone. It’s hard to focus when there is a cute puppy photo or work email at your fingertips. It is hard not to always think about the unknown or the news. Try to focus on what’s happening right now. You will regret the time you waste. Listening to music is great for mindfulness. Take a break, take a walk, take a nap. Breathing is important, and so is getting out of your headspace. Sometimes a change in perspective can really feel like magic. I might feel initial anger at someone who questions my judgement, but if I sit and think on it, I come up with so many great things that stemmed from this friendship.

Humor always helps. Nora Ephron said, “Everything is copy,” and it’s true. I think of all the great things that were born out of personal experience. Try making a list (physical or mental) of any positives regarding the situation and ask yourself, “is this really so bad? Or am I just anxious about the circumstances because it’s not what I expected?” Your inner negative critic is only trying to help you. Try to really listen and pick up on these thoughts so that you can throw them away and replace them with new ones. Think: What can I learn from this? What can I do to make peace with this? Realize you only need to make yourself happy and don’t compare yourself to anyone else.

At the end of the day, you are the only person you need to worry about pleasing. If there is something that you need to do to feel better, don’t give it a second thought. Staying home to catch up on The Real Housewives is sometimes more important than going out dancing with friends if you don’t feel like it. We are all only human. Stop beating yourself up.

Selfcare is self-preservation. It provides us with the balance and awareness we need to keep running toward our dreams. Once you have taken the time to cultivate a hot and sweet relationship with yourself, you are ready to get out there, make things happen, and tackle whatever comes your way. Don’t talk the talk unless you can walk the walk! In other words: Don’t teach/preach something but be the opposite. Sort of like a holistic nutritionist who smokes and drinks alcohol all day. Eventually, people will know you are faking it.

And finally, keep in mind that it’s tricky to accept that what was once a positive force in your life can come and go like anything else. During times like these, it helps to really think about how much you have grown. The idea of willingly throwing yourself into something that you know will end someday almost seems certifiable. But when you are willing to make peace with this fact, you will know you are headed in the right direction on your journey of self-acceptance. Chapters finish, loose ends may never come together, but we have got to keep moving forward if we want to see what’s waiting just ahead. We never know how many tomorrows we have, so don’t sleep on your dreams. Make a move, buy a home, travel everywhere, whatever makes you happy. Time waits for no one.

As John Lennon said, ” Everything will be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end”.