The greek philosopher Heraclitus once said that “everything changes and nothing stands still” (my dad’s favourite). Besides Heraclitus’s quote, I don’t even know how many times I heard “summer is over” in the last couple of days. The summer in Germany was not as great as I thought it would be. There were the occasional awesome days but otherwise I experienced a cold fall/rain mix that weirdly dragged me down. Summer 2017 meant working on my Master’s proposal, literature review and annotated bibliography for my research project. Summer 2017 meant being able to attend and enjoy the Forensic Linguistics Conference in Porto/Portugal. It also meant spending time with family and friends. Also, meeting new friends and spending awesome evenings outside in the garden talking for hours with my brother and sister. There was something definitely different this summer. It was a lot quieter and less hot but nonetheless there were still life-changing events and adventures. There always are.
The last month and a half were enjoyable, loving and way better than any Canadian winter. However, soon it is time to go back to my beloved Canada. My home. Time for change. Time for something “new” yet I know what I get myself into. There is a lot more 2017 holds for me and that I can look forward to. Writing this way sounds as if I am a little less sad or that I am totally okay thinking about the departure.
I think it is just this weird stage of looking forward to something and trying to hold on to the past while living in an allusive present which is sort of uncomfortable. When I decided to take a summer course at my university I did not know that this sparkling allure of May, June, July and August slightly dims since I am not free from assignments, readings and writings while also taking care of my almost four year-old son. All this while trying to enjoy an adult summer with the same responsibilities, family matters and to-do lists. For my son the summer means that the world is on hold. Everything is awesome, special, he can spend time with Oma and Opa and life is just a 24/7 game. I learn from him and try to adapt. To pretend the real world is on hold seems kind of sweet and awesome. For my son, every day is magic! Then we grow up. We learn what real life is and feels like but I am lucky and able to feel this “kid-summer” of complete magic, being carefree without worrying; just a tiny bit different.
September is around the corner and the “ber-months” are approaching; they are just a couple of days away. September: still this summer feeling but I know I will need a cardigan at the river at night. October is next which always smells like a bottle of autumn perfume with a slight mix of melancholia and Halloween candy. November in Canada means the start of snow, cold and comfort that brings families together to snuggle inside with hot tea and cookies. December is pretty much the same but cozier, colder and more snow (and more cookies). January then is invigorating while February is introverted and one might get slightly depressed. March is sort of hopeful but new snowstorms are approaching. April: pretty much the same as March but a tiny bit less snow. May: slightly better and the snow starts to melt. Spring is around the corner but then it snows one last time. “Are these actually tiny little tree buds?”
These months I will study, work and write. We will be wrapped inside for those cold months but it will be all vacuumed away by spring and all the nostalgia and cookie-eating habits will vanish while spring arrives slowly. As usual. Spring always arrives. Life is just this ebb and flow of good and bad things. I appreciate the good things in the meantime and new adventures are just around the corner.
I want to thank my parents for everything they have done for me. I love them forever unconditionally. “Summer’s not over until we say it’s over”.