“How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard” – Winnie the Pooh.
I do love Winnie the Pooh. I just finished reading “The Tao of Pooh” – by Benjamin Hoff. Great book.
The last couple of months I just came to the conclusion that I do not want to have bad feelings or harbor any anger against anyone anymore. Why should I really? I am at a place where I understand how important it is to just let go. I am on the verge of leaving again. Leaving what had become so familiar to me, so precious, so great. I knew it cannot go on forever the way it has been but time just flies too fast. There is really no time for all this “BS”. Letting go has become easier and easier for me over the last couple of months. It took quite some practice however. I had to realize that I cannot change anyone’s behavior but my own – everyone lives their own life and reality.
Many times I thought why someone said or did something and I became angry and frustrated that this particular person reacted the way they did. However, I keep in mind that I cannot change someone else’s behavior and I should try not judge it – like “my way is the highway”. How can I judge other people who think they are doing the right thing? I should remember always that the world does not revolve around me and my way of doing things – each and everyone had their own life and reality they live in full with their own reasons and truths why they choose those actions. I believe that this is important in day-to-day encounters. With this kept in mind I am able to realize that I cannot change someone else and I do not have to.
I believe it is important to put my energy into the right place at all times. I have caught myself many times recently talking about the same things over and over, thinking about the same things over and over and discussing with friends – feeling like talking in circles about the same things. What a waste of energy because usually there is no outcome. I just try to remind myself that this is what it is. That I have done everything possible and that going over it without new information does not provide clarity. All I am creating is more negative energy. I am simply not allowing myself to devote more time to this and that chatter and move on and free my mind of it. Meditation has helped me a lot these days as well. Just sitting down quietly without interruption for 30-45 minutes and just closing my eyes and paying attention to my breathing has helped me a lot. Whatever tool works for you – use it!
One more thing I would like to add is forgiveness. This is usually easier said than done. I had this problem for a long time that even though I had an awesome day, I thought about something, or even saw a picture of someone or got reminded of a situation or person and I started getting headaches or felt angry/aggressive/annoyed. All this negative thinking was physically affecting me. Crazy! So I just decided that this is all not important. Who the hell cares!? Why would I even bother? This does not make me feel good and it keeps me down and wondering and worrying and thinking why this person looks like that/does this and that/posts this and that. This all just kept holding me back by keeping me in my past. By simply just not caring it usually brings me an immediate release. Who the hell cares how A, B, and C’s looks? I am able to be in the present and move on.
I am learning every single day to be better at all this and life is a learning process right? I am an emotional person with quite some worrying and thinking too much about feelings, but usually I am very passionate about how I feel and everything else really and I believe many women can relate to this.