.SOMETIMES RAW.

“Sometimes the best memories are sad because you know they will never happen again.” – Unknown. 

Today was a good day but at the same time it made me a little sad. Sad because of many memories that came up that are very special to me. I was at my workplace today and met a lot of my former colleagues and friends and I realized, since I am gone, things will never be the same again. When I used to work there on a daily basis I was miserable many times. Angry, upset, tired… you name it. Now I have gotten some distance from it all and I miss certain moments. Certain memories, like how the coffee tasted in the little cafe where I used to smoke my cigarettes. (I am not smoking anymore for almost four years but still… these memories you know!) Today I had a cup of coffee at work and simply the taste of it brought back a ton of memories.

It is weird sometimes and my husband clearly states: “Whatever is in the past is in the past. You cannot re-live it.” This is certainly true but I am getting sad remembering all the good times. And usually this is all you really remember right? All the bad stuff just vanishes. I can still remember the beginning of my career. This nervous anticipation during those classroom weeks of introductions and lessons. The work itself afterwards, the long hours of standing sometimes. But you know what? I only remember the good stuff. Not the pain in my legs! Not the hours of waiting in the car sometimes.

Today we walked around New York and we visited many places where I have been with my husband. The beginnings, the long talks at this particular sushi place. The long walks through Manhattan with a camera and just taking pictures – stopping once in a while for something to eat or to discover a new bookstore. All these memories came back today. His touch on my arm when I was too close to the street to just make sure nothing happens to me while the cap driver is driving like a nut almost hitting me and cursing at me afterwards. Hello, this is New York. This was the beginning of our relationship and it was awesome. Even as we say, the smoking and muffin breaks “behind the tent” (insiders are great for those who know ha!)

Everything is so fresh in my mind again since today. Since we have visited many of these places together with our son. I walked by where we used to live, seeing the windows that are still from the 17th century and have never been replaced. When we sat in our living room freezing and curled up in blankets in the wintertime. Now it all seems too good to be true – everything was falling slowly into place somehow. Our marriage, the pregnancy, the house we moved into after we figured out that our old place is just too small for the three of us. Me trying to relax when I was so so nervous and was constantly worrying about everything. (I guess this is a German thing ?)

All the trips we have done together, the long road trips that were so awesome talking for hours in the car. All this seems so long ago and it feels strange in a way to go back to the beginning of us. It will be already four years this year that we are together and parts of it seemed so distant.  There are so many details since today I can remember again in such crips detail.

We walked through the garage at work when we parked our car and I clearly remember losing my scarf that one morning when I was late for work and my husband picked it up running after me because he was late himself. Weird coincidences that are impossible to plan out. I even remember what he was wearing. And immediately I remember his crazy alarm clock sound when we woke up for work in the morning – falling out of bed because it was so annoyingly loud. Me getting up making coffee getting ready for work walking across the stress but still having our little philosophy breakfasts at home.

I also remember the night when Jean asked me to marry him, the food we had before and the restaurant. The way the stars shined brightly and it was just an awesome night. And when we drove to his little apartment after. I remember the long hours of talking and drinking wine in our “wine lounge”. The cigarettes we smoked outside and all these little things making every evening special with awesome stories getting to know each other more. In my relationship there is just so much togetherness – all these vacations and tips and the good talk. I know that life has a distinct marker; there is a before and an after and for me it is just amazing to think about everywhere we have been and to imagine everywhere we are going.

Today I realized again that memories are just funny things that shift, adapt and change over time. I know I cannot turn back time. Things will never be the same anymore. Sushi Time will not be the same anymore. Whatever we want to keep we keep and all the rest – all these small segments of our days dissipate into some sort of fog and eventually we do forget them. I am holding on tight to the things I do want to remember. Like today, waking around and meeting all these people that I shared so much with – I try to capture it all.

And today, walking the streets of Manhattan it took me all the way back to the beginning. My beginning with this city I love and hate at the same time. Me arriving here with my two suitcases creating this life for myself. Good times, bad times – this sweet melancholy of past memories I had today.

Let the adventure continue. Congo next.

Hello! 

As many of you know by now I am all about “back to nature as much as possible”. Food wise I try to stick to organic as much as I can afford it and when it comes to personal hygiene I do not like to use too much bad stuff on my body either. By bad stuff I mean:

I cannot even pronounce half of these ingredients so I will most certainly not put it on my body. I have been trying to find the best products out there that are the least harmful. Even most so-called organic brands are loaded with toxins. I am not even going into makeup on this post because this topic needs a separate article.

Creams. There is a plethora of facial cream, hand cream and body lotions out there and I have been trying them all it seems. Most of them, unfortunately also even organic brands, have ingredient lists as mentioned above. There has to be one cream out there that I can safely put on my face without breaking out or without getting all type of rashes. And strangely this was the problem with all my creams I have been using. After a while there was just this uncomfortable itching that made my skin dry and red. I needed help so after reading a ton about organic and more natural creams online I purchased this book:

It is written in German but I will share the ultimate face cream recipe from the book that I slightly modified. It is important to make only a small portion of the cream because no preservatives, parabens
or phthalates are added.

I usually make two smaller portions (one I use right away and the other one I store in the fridge) and keep them in a little jar as pictured above.

What you need to make the cream: a digital kitchen scale, a small jam glass with a lid, a spoon, two small jars to  fill the cream in, a water cooker.  That is it!

My recipe:

Ingredients: 

5 ounce sAlmond oil   (14g Mandelöl)

0,14 ounces Lamecreme (4g Lamecreme) which is a vegetable emulsifier

0,17 ounces Sheabutter (5g Sheabutter)

1,6 oz boiled water (50ml abgekochtes Wasser)

Start by boiling water in the water cooker and clean the small jam glass as well as the other two small jars. I rinse them with water and some dishwashing detergent. Pour the boiling water in a small pot. Now sterilize all the jars and the spoon in the boiling water. I use a fork to just hold the jars in. It is important to sterilize all your equipment before you start. Otherwise the cream will mold in a very short time. Keep the hot water in the pot because you need it in a bit.

Now put the small sterilized jam glass on the scale and add the 3!!! ingredients. (Awesome, right!) Place the jar back in the pot with the water and stir the ingredients slowly with the spoon until everything is evenly dissolved. It goes faster when the glass is placed in hot water.

Now take the jar out and add the 1,6oz boiling water. (Be careful the jar is HOT now!) Close the lid of the jar and start slowly shaking the glass. Now the Lamecreme starts to emulsify your cream. I put a kitchen towel around the jar, hold it with my fingers on top and thumb on bottom and shake slowly by tapping the palm of my other hand. Do this until cream is emulsified. (Approximately 5 minutes!)

Now I add essential oils. Here you can go all crazy. Whatever YOU want YOUR cream to smell like. I have a long row of essential oils that I have collected over some time. Usually I use this brand which is a little pricy but lasts for a long time. There will be an article on my collection of essential oils and aromatherapy soon so stay tuned.

For my creams I usually use a couple of drops of Lavender oil, Ylang Ylang and some Lemongrass for freshness. This is it. Your cream should last for at least 3-4 weeks. In the fridge up to 7-8 weeks.

Pretty simple and you know what you put on your skin. You could theoretically eat the cream. 😀

Thank you for reading my blog. 

A question came up recently from one of my readers on what beauty products I use on a daily basis and what’s in my make-up bag all related to me being a minimalist.

Well when it comes to the products I am using I keep it very simple. Usually I do not change my beauty routine too much. First of all I am very lucky with the type of skin I have. (Thanks genes!) Even when I was pregnant with my son I did not have any problematic, hormonal skin or outbreaks. This was I believe mostly due to the fact that I am not using too many products and the way I am eating because this is where it all starts.  So here I share what I am using more or less on a daily basis:

Let’s start with what is currently in my makeup bag if you can even call it as such. It is an old small grey leather bag that I found in one of my mom’s drawers years ago. I do not use too many makeup products at all because I am just not a big fan of it. So my routine in the morning to put makeup on takes about five minutes and is just very simple.

The products I have are mostly organic. For my hair I use Khadi Products. I have been loving these for a while. My hair is very important to me and I have written an entire post on my hair routine. Find it here. 

The trick is to apply the shampoo on DRY hair and only on the scalp and just a tiny bit. Not that much in the length. Then rinse after five minutes. Done! I wash my hair once a week and it is growing super fast this way. 😀 As far as washing the rest of my body I am using this soap:

I have been trying many soaps before. I even made my own at some point; however, none of them gave me a softer, creamer feeling on my skin than this one.

As far as makeup goes I have been using Dr. Hauschka products. This one for mascara and for an under eye concealer this one.  These are the only non-organic products I am using. They are a little pricey but they last quite a while. I also tested many drugstore mascaras before and they made my eyes tear up all the time and did not stick to my lashes so I looked like a raccoon after a while. Fail!

For my lips I am in love with this Lush product:

. 

This is it basically believe it or not. I am making my own skin and body cream and will be sharing the recipe on this blog soon. This cream I am also using on my son if needed.  It is all “back to nature” with me. 🙂 I want to put as little chemistry on my body as possible. I am open to try new organic products however.

My signature scent is COCO Mademoiselle by CHANEL. I have been using this perfume forever. Recently, I have been stumbling across Barr-Co. products and I am in love.

Here are my recent purchases:

The smell is just very soft and powdery. I would also describe it as a fresh and clean smell. My husband likes it! 🙂 According to the labels on the products the smell is a blend of “milk, oatmeal, vanilla and vetiver”. I have been using the perfume every single day. In Canada I purchased the hand cream and am in love as well. It is just not sticky or greasy and lasts for a long time.

So there you have it. Nice and simple. As I try to keep everything in my life.