You may be part of the planet. But, equally, the planet is part of you. (I recently watched the movie Interstellar!)
And you can change the parts that get in. Yes, in one sense, it is easy to see that the planet is exhibiting symptoms similar to an individual with an anxiety disorder, but there is no one version of the world. There are seven billion versions of the world. The aim is to find the one that suits you best. And remember.
Everything special about humans, our capacity for love and art and friendship and stories and all the rest, is not a product of modern life; it is a product of being a human. And so, while we can’t disentangle ourselves from the transient and frantic stress of modern life, we can place an ear next to our human self (or soul, if you would rather) and listen to the quiet stillness of being. And realise that we don’t need to distract ourselves from ourselves.
Everything we need is right here. Everything we are is enough. We don’t need the bigger boat to deal with the invisible sharks around us. We are the bigger boat. The brain, as Emily Dickinson put it, is bigger than the sky. And by noticing how modern life makes us feel, by allowing that reality and by being broad-minded enough to change when change is healthy, we can engage with this beautiful world without being worried it will steal who we are.
I look at the clock on my computer. I do this now to keep track of how long I spend staring at a screen. Simply knowing the amount makes you spend less time at a computer. I suppose that’s the key: being aware. And I am also aware of the view into my garden. The pond, all this nature. Peace and calm.
The sun is shining outside my window. I can see the pond in the distance. Dragonflies flying, catching all the flies, little lines of hope. I stare at the water, and it calms me. And I am trying to be in tune with what it is about this world that makes us feel good. This is how we can live in the present. This is how every single moment becomes a beginning. By being aware. By stripping away the stuff we don’t need and finding what our self really requires. And from that awareness we can find a way to keep hold of ourselves and still stay in love with this world. That’s the idea. It is hard. It is so bloody hard. But also, it is better than despair. And so long as you make sure it isn’t something else you can fail at, once you accept your messy flaws and failures as natural, then it becomes a lot easier.
Later today I will be going to a shopping center. I don’t enjoy shopping centers at all. All these people, consumerism, loud, sticky. The key to surviving shopping centers and supermarkets and negative, annoying people or anything else is not to ignore them, or to run from them, or to fight them, but to allow them to be. Accept you don’t have any control over them, only over yourself.
“For after all,” wrote the poet Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, “the best thing one can do when it is raining is let it rain.” Yes. Let it rain. Let the planet be. Let people be. You have no choice. But also, be aware of your feelings, good and bad. Know what works for you and accept what doesn’t. When you know the rain is rain, and not the end of the world, it makes things easier. But, right now, it isn’t raining.
And so, the second after finishing this article, I am going to save this document, close the laptop, and head outside. To play.
Into air and sunlight.
Into life.
