Even if it isn’t okay, if it’s thing you can’t control, don’t try to control it.
You feel misunderstood. Everyone is misunderstood. Don’t worry about other people understanding you. Aim to understand yourself. Nothing else will matter after that.
Accept yourself. If you can’t be happy with yourself, at least accept yourself as you are right now. You can’t change yourself if you don’t know yourself.
Never be cool. Never try to be cool. Never worry what the cool people think. Head to the warm people. Life is warmth. You will be cool when you are dead.
Find a good book. And sit down and read it. There will be times in your life when you will feel lost and confused. The way back to yourself is through reading. The more you read, the more you will know how to find your way through those difficult times.
Don’t fix yourself down. Don’t be blinded by the connotations of your name, nationality, sexuality, or Instagram profile. Be more than data to be harvested.
Slow down. Lao Tzu: “Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.”
Enjoy the internet. Don’t use it when you aren’t enjoying it. (Nothing has sounded so easy and been so hard)
Remember that many people feel like you. You can even go online and find them. This is one of the most therapeutic aspects of the social media age. You can find an echo of your pain. You can find someone who will understand.
As Yoda put it, “You can’t try to be”. Trying is the opposite of being.
The things that make you unique are flaws. Imperfections. Embrace them. Don’t seek to filter out your human nature.
Don’t let the marketing convince you that happiness is a commercial transaction. Will Rogers: “Too many people spend money they don’t have, to buy things they don’t want, to impress people they don’t like”.
Go to bed before midnight most days.
Even during manic times (Christmas, family occasions, hectic work patches, city holidays…) find some moments of peace. Retreat to a quiet room now and then.
Shop less.
Do some yoga.
When times get rocky, keep a routine.
Do not compare the worst bits of your life with the best bits of other people’s.
Value the things most that you would miss the most if they weren’t there.
Go for a walk. Go for a run. Dance. Eat peanut butter on toast.
Don’t try to feel something you don’t feel. Don’t try to be something you can’t be. That energy will exhaust you.
There is no future. Planning for the future is just planning for another present in which you will be planning for the future.
Breathe.
Love now. Love right now. If you have someone or something to love, do it this instant. Love fearlessly. As Dave Eggers wrote: “It is no way to live, to wait to love.” Throw love out there selflessly.
Don’t feel guilty. It doesn’t help anyone. Try to do good right now, without drowning in whatever bad you might once have done.
Look at the sky. It’s amazing. It is always amazing.
Spend some time with a dog.
Be unashamedly boring. Boring can be healthy.
Don’t value yourself in line with other people’s valuation of you. As Eleanore Roosevelt said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
The world can be sad. But remember, a million unsung acts of kindness happened today. A million acts of love. Quiet human goodness lives on.
Don’t beat yourself up for being a mess. It’s fine. The universe is a mess. Galaxies are drifting all over the place. You are just in tune with the cosmos.
It is okay to cry. Women cry. And men cry. They have tear ducts and lacrimal glands just like other human beings. A man crying is no different from a woman crying. It is natural. Social roles are toxic when they don’t allow an outlet for pain.
Allow yourself to fail. Allow yourself to doubt. Allow yourself to feel vulnerable. Allow yourself to change your mind. Allow yourself to be imperfect.
Want less. A want is a hole. A want is a lack. When the poet Byron wrote “I want a hero,” he meant that he didn’t have one. The act of wanting things we don’t need makes us feel a lack we didn’t have. Everything you need is here. A human being is complete just being human. We are our own destination.
