Hello!
I have meant to write this post for a long time, ever since my friend told me about this little problem she has. My friend broke up with her boyfriend not too long ago and she said that these days she usually sits at home alone in the evening with dinner and a bottle of wine and opens up Facebook. I would say: “Nothing wrong with that in particular.” She goes on: “And THEN, after like the third glass I check on him again. And his new giiiiiirlfriend (high pitched voice while initially rolling her eyes who shortly start tearing up)”. She asked me if I think that this is okay or if she should see a shrink at this point. Well, I guess she is not at her highest point in life. She simply wanted to check what her ex was up to. This is how it all started. Bad breakup I have to add.
She showed me how she types his name in the search bar on Facebook or even google and clicks Enter. As we check the photos on his profile she starts getting angry initially, later sad, then cries. “Why did he do this to me? Who is this bitch next to him drinking cocktails at ‘our’ bar?” She thought about adding a different Facebook profile of herself and befriend him again. Just to stay in touch. I told her I think it is not the best idea and that she should just let him do his thing. Easier said than done if you are not in her shoes. I also saw that she is “following” him on Facebook without being his “friend”. Technology is so advanced at this point that you cannot hide anything. Everything is public and everyone is able to find out anything they want about you and your little life. I think about this a lot when writing on my website daily. Nowadays it is a lot more difficult to let go of someone because every step can and will be tracked. When does it all become embarrassing for yourself and when is it stalking?
You see a picture of your ex and his/her new boyfriend/girlfriend and you cannot take it? You follow your ex on Instagram, Twitter, Youtube or whatever other channel is out there and you get even angrier about your life, your current situation or the breakup. You secretly picture your ex posting wedding pictures soon, pictures of his newborn child and honeymoon-fun. You think that your little unimportant life is so messed up and sad at this point. You have no fancy schmancy pictures to share, right? And you start comparing again. And questioning.
Do you know this little feature on Facebook called “On This Day”? You know this person for ….blabla years? Well, turn all this off. I told my friend to block her ex if it is bothering her that much. And for her own mental sanity to just give up the online stalking. It is tough to erase him/her from your memory – I guess this will never happen. Unless you try what they wanted to accomplish in the movie Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind. One of my favorite movies of all times. Try not to constantly get reminded of your ex and stop checking Facebook every five minutes. Stop stalking your ex. It sucks! Everything happened for a reason. While I type this I have the search option on Facebook open and type in my husband’s name. Let’s see what he is up to, let’s see his latest pictures. Stalking the person you are actually with is okay, hah! I think.
Do you stalk your ex online? Or even worse, do you stalk your ex’s new crush? I would like to hear your stories. I won’t stalk you. I promise.
Thank you for reading.
