First, let me start by saying that I’m perfectly aware that you can make the impossible possible by taking away the “im.” I’m way ahead of you on that one. So let’s all just know that we both thought of that joke but I made…
Let’s just get something straight, right off the bat. By reading this, you, as a human or a super-advanced future dog, are not going to learn how to actually fly. That’s just impossible. Do you have wings? No. Is your butt a jet pack? It…
Hey there, I’m Jesus Christ, the Son of God. I know things look bad for me right now, but I’m gonna be back in a few days, and when I return, I want all the eggs hidden. And I want the eggs to have candy…
Helllllooooo, my darlings! How are you holding up? Are you enjoying the long spring twilight? Kissing the whiskery faces of your pets and friends? Noticing the bright golden green of the April willows? I know you are. Here we are, in our bodies, in the world, listening to music and loving each other.
Wow, you made it through kindergarten; what an accomplishment. Let’s throw a party and make you feel special—you deserve it after all you’ve been through. Those were challenging times, learning to figure out the system that you will be subjected to for the rest of…
Don’t get married before you live together. You just never know what the other person will be like to live with, and you need to figure that out before marriage. Definitely don’t tie the knot until you’ve traveled together. You absolutely have to find out…
It feels like there is a collective shift happening. Spring is around the corner. Everything changes. Spring cleaning and decluttering is always something I am looking forward to. So, who wants to join me in extending that energy to our consumption habits as a whole?…
You will LOVE having another kid! It’s the best. I mean look at that little face. Your son would have a sibling. Come on, you are not too old. You are what? Like 35? How could you say no to those chubby cheeks? Honestly, I don’t even…
“I’LL CHECK THAT OUT!” I’m not going to check that out. (e.g. super expensive makeup). Yes, I’m sure you like it, and I’m sure you recommended it to me in good faith. To you, the 80 uninterrupted hours you spent gushing over its merits was…
Dear reader: I have been stuck at home with a horrible cold for the last couple of days but am on the road to recovery. Yay! I have been thinking quite a lot these days (besides sleeping, this was the only thing I was really…
