.SOMETIMES RAW.

I always loved these little appetizer veggie rolls at Thai/Sushi Restaurants. So it was about time to play around and make my own. They are very easy to make and can be pre-made for a party, as an addition to any dinner or lunch or just as a fresh snack.

You will need:

your choice of vegetables, thinly sliced: For this recipe I have been using carrots, cucumber, avocado, romaine lettuce, arugula, parsley and red pepper.

rice paper (I used “Real Thai Rice paper) and water to soak them in

Instructions:

First, soak rice paper. I filled a bowl (larger than the rice paper) half full with warm water. Then dip 1 rice paper wrapper in the water. Let it soak for approximately 60 seconds. It is supposed to be soft enough to roll without splitting or falling apart. Remove from water and lay flat on a plate. The veggies have to be sliced in thin stripes and placed lengthwise either in the middle of the rice paper or toward the edge. If you place the veggies in the middle it will allow you to fold both sides of the paper inwards. I like placing them toward the edge.

It is a bit difficult to roll the rice paper in the beginning  but if you hold the veggies in place while you roll the paper as shown in the picture above it will work fine. Done!

There are so many dips you can serve the veggie rolls with. For this recipe I used Tamari which is a gluten-, and wheat-free soy sauce that is naturally fermented. (Brand: Shoyu Soy Sauce). To add a little spice to it I used Wasabi.

Enjoy!

The other day my mom had the baby and I was out in the city.  I got a latte, got my bangs trimmed and spent a luxurious amount of time at my favorite bookstore. I even met a friend and we had red wine and a salad. She has been telling me that she already has problems with her boyfriend whom she is dating for a couple of months only. But she still talks about baby names that she picked out and the marriage date and bachelor party. She said that being with him is more comfortable than being alone.

She also asked about me and my husband. Soon four years into our relationship and now with a kid – “how is it all going?” she asked. Thankfully I can say better than ever. Even though the mission in Mali is hard on both of us. Not being together for a four to six week stretch is tough. When my phone makes the old familiar “bling” noise when he writes me, I feel like 15 or 16 again. Happy, nervous, what did he write? The feeling when we first met, the warmth, the instant comfort and the feeling to have met the other person already at some point in life is awesome. There is no one else who makes me feel this way. Anaïs Nin says in Henry and June:  “There are two ways to reach me: by way of kisses or by way of the imagination. But there is a hierarchy: the kisses alone don’t work.”

How can I put it? Things are never boring with Jean. When we laugh we really laugh until our bellies hurt. When I think about how Jean and I met, I have to admit that my life changed instantly and how close I was to not meeting him at all. Just funny circumstances and a scarf. And what if I had not met him? If I would have left my apartment five minutes later? Would I live in New York now? Married to someone else? Kids? (But surely not a child as painfully handsome as Joel). Single? How would my career have turned out? Would I be as happy or even happier?

In his arms I felt from the beginning like I sparkled, like the possibilities are endless. I felt loved, as is. No show – just real! Our story may be unremarkable to anyone else but it is our special story. We had bad times, terrible times, and sometimes they have been both of our faults and sometimes not. We have been through promotions, firings, though several moves already, through personal differences and many stupid decisions, bad haircuts, bad clothing choices and also some bad habits.

Then we said” “I do”! in front of our enthusiastic wedding officiant. (“Yoouuuuuuuuu…….!”). We rented our first house together; we moved. We had our baby together, we have hosted parties at our house, we have cooked meals and most importantly we have never stopped even for one second loving one another. I am grateful for Jean and for the past four years. Our story is my favorite. And of course: to be continued.

“You can complain because roses have thorns, or you can rejoice because thorns have roses.” —Tom Wilson

First of all, life is not perfect – it never will be and it never has been. To realize this as “Mrs. Complaining-all-the-time” is pretty awesome indeed. To understand this fact we can actually welcome a great number of possibilities. We know it deep down to be true that life is not perfect! So the question here is, if I know this to be a fact, why do I still complain all the time about its imperfections?

I am not alone here. We all do complain about the traffic, waiting for something, on something, the weather (too hot- too cold), too much weight, about tight clothing lateness and the prices of everything. The list is just endless: complaints about crying babies, spouses who are doing something we do not like, neighbors. Have we become a society of complainers? Well, and if we do complain, do we get a positive reaction? Any circumstances we complain about really? Almost never.

Our natural response is most of the time to express feelings of resentment, dissatisfaction, pain even boredom. I myself have to work on this because there are too many negative outcomes to these reactions. (Ask my husband). What does all the complaining do? It breeds and feeds usually a negative response and a negative attitude. If you gossip with someone for example it draws the attention to all the negative circumstances and aspects around you. I know what I am talking about because I have done it too many times. All this complaining never results in joy and feeling awesome – you just sink more and more in misery. And this impacts everyone around us. What complaining does? It creates more negativity! Misery just loves company. It just makes us feel better in the moment to complain and the more you focus on the “problem” and draw even more attention to it, it will direct more “negative” people towards you too.

This is for you Jean: “Complaining does not change a situations! Taking action does”! 

I believe that it is just ok to not be comfortable at points. But one does not have to complain all the time about the same things over and over because it emotionally and physically brings you down. Further, it is unattractive. Go to work and spend time with “negative people” and listen to their complaints. It is unenjoyable and annoying because usually there is this self-centered emphasis. Then I usually  feel like a victim as well. Blaming others, constantly blaming others that I feel better is usually what we do.

I figured out for myself that complaining less shifts the focus to the positive. It even makes you glow – makes you feel more at peace and content. How can we complain less? Good question!

I figured out some points for myself and would love to share them. I am far from perfect of using them but I try to apply these points daily.

Firstly it is important to know your triggers. When are you complaining the most? In the morning, late afternoon, evening? With your spouse? At work? With colleagues/friends? Try to avoid triggers/trigger words, even certain people. You should not surround yourself with negative people anyway.

I heard myself say many times: “I will never ever complain again/or gossip”! This usually never works. I just try to be mindful of particular situations and try maybe to go one day without complaining. I just concentrate on this one day and for me it works. There is also this slight difference between complaining and helpful criticism. Of course there will be times when it is appropriate to complain when something wrong has been committed for example.  Always ask yourself if the situation can be somehow resolved. If not, the complaints are useless.

It is important to know who you are talking to. Who is the audience? Can this person help me solve my problem or is there an interest in coming up with a solution for me? If you need to complain do it briefly and see how the other person reacts. Is the person helpful?

Many complain to validate their worth to others. For example they tell you how busy they are, and they do this and that and nobody notices it, and they work all these long hours and do so much more for their boss or job.  These things are usually said to subtly communicate their importance. Trying to impress others with complaints usually does not work either. Well if you need to do it at least you won’t have any friends in the long run or friends of importance.

The most important thing for me now is that I have to first consider alternatives before complaining. I used to never consider that there is a different way, a different approach. And of course the fact that this is an imperfect world. Life throws us curveballs once in a while and let’s us deal with situations we do not expect or we have not planned. Out of experience there is always pain, trial and trouble. But this is okay. This is life. This makes it interesting. My mom usually says: “The world does not revolve around you”! Discomfort in any way should not surprise me and I am not the only one experiencing it anyway. 

Usually complaining does only spread negativity and sparks conflict. I am happier without it and I try to move forward and embrace the positive instead.