On father and son

“Don’t marry a man unless you would be proud to have a son exactly like him”. 

Who said that? No clue. Just read it once and remembered it and thought it would be a great start to this post because it is true.

My husband left today. Back to Mali. This week had gone by so fast. The picture was taken just a couple of minutes before his departure and we were all sad. As usual! It is never easy to let my husband go – especially  knowing where he is going.

My husband was here now for a bit over one week and I see Jean and Joel together, laughter and smiles, this joy and love they bring to each others’ lives and it just stops me dead in my tracks at points. Jean is a great man and husband. I have written more on him than anything else on this blog. I myself learn from him every day. He is compassionate, loving, kind and truly sees the joy in every little thing which I do not because I am not paying as much attention as he does. And I think because of all that and more he is a great father.

I was always afraid of becoming a mother. From never wanting to have kids to meeting my husband and thinking for the first time that the whole “kid-thing” could work for me to finally being pregnant was crazy by itself. Then, seeing the man I love as a parent has been one of the most beautiful things about becoming a mother and I just live for all these little moments I can spend with both of them when we are finally all together.

When I was growing up I dated a lot – all sorts of guys. I do not want to get into to much detail here but I can say that there were nice guys, fun guys, weird guys, strange guys and many jerks as well. Just with the result that I had sworn off serious relationships. There was always something that bothered me so much, relationships with no foundation. Then I met my husband through weird circumstances (almost impossible) and I could almost immediately see him in my future – and this seemed scary at the moment. This feeling you have deep inside that tells you: “This is the right thing!”

Times goes by so quickly – I always try to remember this. We fell in love, moved in together, got engaged, got married – everything seems so long ago already. Then we got pregnant. I think back to this day often when I came home and told my husband the pregnancy test is positive.

Now my son is 1 1/2 years old and every time I see Jean and Joel playing and spending time together I am reminded how awesome this all is. I see my little guy trying to emulating my husband – when he tries on his shoes and walks around, the “papa”, “daddy” (bilingual kid yeah and he talks so much and clear these days); the way he lights up every time when Jean got him ready in the morning, or played with him. And sometimes I even see this little tear in Jean’s eye when Joel does something really sweet to impress him.

Joel is so young still but I can already see how warm, kind and affectionate his heart is, and how funny and silly he can be at the same time. What a great spirit. They are both amazing – and more so when they are together. I am raising my son who is going to be like the man I married and love and I could not be any happier.

Be safe in Mali my love. Je t’aime toujours.

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