I had to move on from some people that did not add love, light or value to my life. This is a hard statement to start a blog with but it is true. It is all part of the process. I wish these people well and move on. I want people in my life that are there for me when I do not succeed but also people who cheer loudly when I do. People who really mean it. These people should be way beyond the Instagram and Facebook “friends”. These should be friends who know the dark deep depths of me, the ones who I do not have to second guess myself around, these people who know all the shitty parts of myself and do not judge me, think I am weird and love me all the same. And people who do not take their phones out and start typing along with others. I mean, seriously? (I am not saying that quickly writing “what is up” is forbidden….even though WHO cares once you are WITH your friend at a bar, right?)
It is difficult to find those people or that one person but if you find them keep them close and cultivate those relationships. Of course one can have all the other friends as well – party friends, work-friends, weekend-friends whatever. I have just learned throughout my years on this planet that not everyone will be on your team. 🙂 And it just does not work to fit every single person in my life into my scared, special place. It is important to save your energy to the people closest to me.
What matters to me is that I wake up in the morning and I have the feeling that I am doing a good job at just being a good human being – good mother, whatever you want to name it. Just to be the best sister or friend but whatever I am doing I want to do it with love and kindness. What someone thinks about you, random stuff that I worry about and that does not go away does not really matter. If you want love – BE love!
And it is of course okay to change. I developed a passion on being outdoors, writing, nature, healthy eating more throughout the last year. My interests shifted and this is ok. I learned so many things about myself and I think – besides raising my son in this environment – this was my favorite part of the entire past years. The adventures I went on with my husband and son, discovering new places, traveling and experiencing new things – it is just scare and awesome at point and reminds us that we are alive and that there is a possibility of so much more. So many places to discover, to much more to see, taste, experience.
I gained a much deeper self-acceptance and self-love throughout this past year. I love to be myself – it is okay to be me, sometimes silly, happy, sad, emotional, adventurous. And just to be okay about others being THEM. Who cares what everyone else is doing. They live their own life. I started to focus on my life and not putting to much focus on others. It just feels so good to go through life like this. WHO the hell cares what A, B, C is doing. Just FOCUS on YOUR OWN SHIT. 😀
I.AM. ENOUGH! Jean, Joel, they are what also matters, and I am forever grateful that they are mine. The possibilities of the future are endless and I am looking forward to it.