Category: .Holistic Nutrition.

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FASHION POST: Love/Hate Relationship with Skirts and Dresses.

Another hot day in Barcelona sightseeing. Wanderlust. No clue about fashion but my Lois Vuitton is usually next to me while traveling. 

After a long conversation with a very good friend of mine on fashion and why fashion blogs are so popular I had a packing/cleaning date this evening with my closet and realized again that neither skirts nor dresses feel quite right to me. I own a couple because I think I should own them. They are awesome when it is really hot, comfortable and make me feel feminine while shorts are more practical and boring in a way. I wear those when I chase Petit Joel around at the playground. I love my legs and I never regretted the tattoo that covers nearly my entire right leg. However, those awesome legs of mine never look as I want them to in denim shorts. Question: When are denim shorts simply too short? I am not into fashion at all and don’t know what is in style these days but I have seen a couple of “girls” today who wore shorts that seemed crotch-threatening. 

If you really want to pull this look off, you cannot have a face and have to hold something in your hand. At least you have hands. 😉 

So, why love/hate relationship? I put on a dress or skirt in the morning because it seems like a fun option since it is finally warm enough here in Canada. Secretly however I wish I could just change into my black or blue jeans. I love my jeans. All of them. I think I am officially addicted to jeans and plain, simple t-shirts.

For some time I gave up on dresses and skirts altogether. It seemed like I try to be someone I am not. I know that some clothes just look good or fit a certain type of woman and squeezing into something just because does not work for me either. Fashion industry tells me what to wear, what is in style or looks great. Since I question everything these days I have to say: Don’t tell me what to do, fashion industry! I can think for myself and decide what looks good on me! The other day I observed a woman in a secondhand clothing store trying on a dress. I could tell that the color was just wrong and the dress way too tight for her without any fashion knowledge whatsoever. But the saleswoman went on and on telling her how beautiful she looks in this dress. They want to sell thing, right?! “And this dress gives you this special glow which is so great since it is summer now!” I wanted to tell “the client” the truth but who am I? I have no clue about fashion while I look at secondhand cardigans from the 80s and know for sure that I can combine them with my white vintage Karate club t-shirt that rocks. 

I accepted that I just cannot wear certain things and I have determined a somewhat stylistic choice which states who I am and what my character and  persona is. Then again, it is just clothing and you don’t know me by just looking at what I am wearing. So many times, wearing a shorter skirt feels to me like being at a party that I don’t really want to attend in the first place but all my friends are having a great time so I am pretending I am in a good mood even though I feel like crap and want to go home and read.

I can also try to figure out my skirt/dress issue by simply noticing that it gets more and more difficult over time to think about why I don’t talk to certain ex-boyfriends anymore. It just doesn’t work and I stopped doing it. And I apply the silent treatment to things like fashion since, I reckon, this is a great way to deal with it. Otherwise, silent treatment sucks. Period. 

At the end of my cleaning/decluttering closet process tonight I put some of my dresses and skirts on and I like them. Maybe it is because they look more flattering since I lost a bit of weight, and I believe I will, before grabbing my regular pair of jeans, have a little feminine talk, and opt for the dress or skirt instead even though it is totally and entirely out of my comfort zone. A skirt forces me to think about matching tops and shoes and whatnot which is way too much stress in the morning. 

Will I transform this website into a fashion blog? Definitely not. My passion lies in thought, analyzing, writing and reviewing things rather than fashion. And this realization just feels like a nice, comforting little breeze around my nether regions while wearing a skirt. 

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Things That Are Aging Me quickly For Realz.

So a couple of days ago I bought a bottle of good Portuguese wine since I will be going to a conference in Portugal soon and need to figure out beforehand how the wine situation is. The person at the register asked me for my ID. Did I get annoyed? Why would I? My question is always, “how old do you think I am?” He said mid-twenties. I bought another bottle of wine and left the store with my head held up high. Apparently, I look young, fresh and healthy. Inside, I felt tired, exhausted, stressed out and discouraged for the last week plus. I overheard this sweet conversation of two elderly ladies at the store the other day. They both said how nice it would be to just be twenty again, to have the opportunity to do it all over and that they both wouldn’t mind being healthier and with less wrinkles. Further, they added they would never get married again and who needs men anyway. 

I paid for my salmon, arugula, tomatoes and mozzarella (favorite dish for supper when it is hot outside) and thought about aging, the anti-aging market and eternal youth. Will the person at the liquor store still ask me for my ID in ten years? I know by now that creams, peels, lasers and all the chemicals like botox are most certainly not a solution. It just does not work. A cream cannot get rid of cellulite and why would I want to let a doctor inject the fat from my ass into my lips to make them fuller? Can I reverse the aging process somehow on my own? Is there a way to reverse the aging process? More wine? More Portuguese wine? Or is booze aging me the most? In moderation, most likely not. Well, I know what is aging me for sure. 

Stress. Stress is bad for me. Occasional stress is manageable but anything chronic kills me. Assignments, deadlines, tons of work and when usually everything comes together (Petit Joel sick etc.) I feel like curling up in fetal position to silently weep myself to sleep. It has been a rough couple of weeks but I am seeing a tiny light at the end of the tunnel. If I don’t get enough sleep and whenever I am tired for a couple of days in a row I feel old.  

 Lack of Sleep. There is no sugarcoating this one. Sleep deprivation for a long time makes me feel and look old. I am a Master student with tons of work so I know what I am talking about here when I am usually up at 1 am still. Being up so late is not doing me any favors and I actually cannot even concentrate at this point. These days, I try to go to bed by 11pm (so right after I sent this post out) and then read a bit until 12pm. That is it. I feel rested and I do need my beauty sleep and know that my body detoxifies during a nice 7-8 hour restful sleeping period. Whenever I don’t sleep enough, I cannot focus too well, my memory does not work which makes me drink more coffee and this then makes me feel old and dries out my skin. You get the idea? Isn’t it amazing how much bad stuff (alcohol, cigarettes, not enough sleep etc.) I did/do to my body sometimes but he still “forgives me” and keeps on working? Food for thought and change. 
 

Phone and Computer. Again, everything in moderation but I realized the other day how much time I actually spend on my phone or in front of the screen and it makes me feel old or age faster for some reason. I am not taking my phone to the playground anymore. I focus on my son and that is it. Also, I set a time limit to work on my school projects; like write for 2-3 hours then turn the computer off and do nothing else to give my brain some time to rest. By nothing, I mean nothing. No music, no reading or anything. Just laying on the couch for a bit listing to my body or the wind and just process the present moment. 

Sitting. Are you sitting down for this? Working at my desk for those 2-3 hours straight makes me feel so stiff that I want to go outside and run. I have this urge to move around, stretch and eat my lunch in the plank position. Too much sitting makes me feel old. Makes me stiff all over and my muscles ache. These days I take my bicycle everywhere to move around. Or I practice Yoga. Or a nice walk in the park. Swimming at the public pool is also awesome, especially since it is getting warmer here in Canada. Finally, eh! 

I just have to keep this in mind and make some changes here and there and I am on my way to the fountain of youth. 

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What’s for Supper?

I cleaned my kitchen cabinets this morning to just get an overview on what I have hoarded. The fridge, freezers and storage cabinets are full with stuff and I still end up going to the store to buy more. Well, I actually realized that I don’t need to buy food at all for weeks. Seriously, that much stuff. I watched Michael Pollan’s documentary In Defense of Food the other day since the book was okay and inspirational. I also love to broaden my horizon whenever it comes to food and my health. And what I really like is flavorful, mostly organic food by trying to embrace the notion of the current season. I am fortunate to eat this way, I have to add. Organic healthy eating is actually not really that cheap and Pollan hasn’t paid too much attention or provided solutions on this topic for the let’s say, less fortunate community. 

Pollan describes different eating habits in countries like France for example. Whenever I am in France, I admire how people enjoy good, simple food just like cheese, a baguette and a bottle of good wine shared with friends. They take their time and rarely walk around with food in their hand; it seems eating is a celebration and sensation every time without stressing out. The same I observed in Spain when people come out of their houses early in the evening when it is not that hot anymore (usually by 8 pm!!) and meet at a local small restaurant to eat together and take their time. No stress, no drive-through ordering at Starbucks (or anywhere actually) ever and just taking my time to prepare a nice meal.  “Eating this way is what I want, too”, I said and I made some adjustments but overall, simplicity is key for me. 

Petit Joel and I spent this morning in the kitchen cooking and baking which turned out to be so much fun. He loved to help and made cakes with the homemade Playdoh I made for him. We sprouted seeds, made chocolate ice cream, bread and rolls only with ingredients I had already at home. The kitchen had this nice smell of freshly baked bread while I kept cleaning the cabinets, throwing things out that 1) I would never eat again or 2) are expired. 

Later and after we cleaned the entire kitchen, we took our bicycles and decided to have lunch in the park at The New Art Festival which is really well done and great to visit even with kids. Diving into art and learning about local artists and their artwork is just what rounded up this day nicely for me.  Our picnic blanket came in handy when someone was too tired and felt too hot to continue walking because his legs are old (Joel) so we stopped and ate our rolls, some sliced carrots, apples and he then waited patiently in line for some chocolate ice-cream drink at the festival. 

We spent the rest of the day outside, playing, talking to friends and enjoying the sun and warmth. So what’s for supper? Joel wanted more of my bread (yay!) with banana slices and some almond butter. This was basically it since we usually eat very light for supper. Of course, whenever ze husband is around we have homemade pizzas or pasta in any variation but usually, I just have some form of salad and take a paper-wrapped cheese or occasionally charcuterie from the fridge and lay it out nicely on a wooden board. I add some grapes and call it The French Revolution Night. I might open a jar of Pâté and eat this with a slice of crusty homemade bread. Heaven! Again, simple is key! 

After this long day we curled up on the couch with hot chocolate and popcorn to watch Moana again (Petit Joel’s favorite movie!). Thinking about food, traveling and what I already ate I have to say that I can adapt to anything, especially if it is  simple and rustic (German) but also fine dining and complex dishes (Delegates Dining Room United Nations). For me, variation is important because eating the same things every day gets boring and I want to try new things. Like pho. 

What I discovered in Ottawa today: 

While we ate supper today, we listened to Jazz. There is some sort of Jazz music playing at our house most of the time. These days I am into Kenny Barron. I found out today that he will be in Ottawa soon for the Jazz Festival. Hopefully I can be there to enjoy this fantastic artist even if it means to take Joel. He is used to my taste in music by now, I reckon. He better be! 🙂 Life is good. And I am listening to this while I am typing. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_SohMWcK_q4

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Real Money Talk.

Petit Joel and I just needed new toothbrushes and almond milk. Just two effing bamboo toothbrushes and almond milk from Whole Foods.That’s it. I am a minimalist. Nothing more, nothing less. The problem is, this store is just awesome since it has it all. Natural alternatives, organic food, a huge variety of cheese and fish (love!) and of course nuts, seeds, fancy chocolate, tons of awesome “free of everything” beauty products and samples. 

Another issue is where the almond milk is located. To get there, I have to traverse the entire store which means I usually wear my invisible horse blinders and walk through it quickly like on hot coals (with Chanel flats on). Petit Joel and I hit the Farmers Market and then for whatever reason I thought about these toothbrushes and almond milk and we both ended up in this store where the first part is usually okay, since it is all produce. We actually ran out of carrots though and I forgot to buy them at the Farmers Market, so they wander silently into my shopping cart. Off we go. Destination almond milk. Petit Joel in the cart (plus carrots). I add some arugula just because. We then entered cheese heaven with all the samples. Petit Joel loves cheese as well and tries this one and that one and decides he likes them both. So do I. And the mozzarella. I go back to the produce aisle to get some fresh basil to make a Caprese for supper. I am pushing my cart quickly back to the cheese section and pass this beautiful wooden salad bowl what would look so nice with my wooden salad fork and spoon set. Does this salad bowl have big googly eyes on the side? I have to get out of here. 

I get some fresh salmon, too. That will go nicely with my Caprese salad tonight. I also get some frozen salmon for my famous pasta with salmon sauce dish that Petit Joel loves. We also ran out of organic ketchup, mustard for salad dressing, salt, pepper and yes, there is the almond milk section. Everything in the cart. Pushing on to the bread aisle. We actually get our bread every week from either Farm Boy or preferably the Farmers Market on Sunday and purchase enough so it lasts us all week. However, somehow a chocolate croissant made its way into the cart and was halfway eaten when we eventually approached the register. We don’t eat cereal so everything is okay while we walk through this aisle but wow, look at those beautiful journals next to the Yoga mats, Yoga pants and Yoga everything else. I should start practicing Yoga again. Maybe I should get these yoga pants which will make me sign up for a class for sure. Those pants will transform my whole life. Or this journal since I don’t have enough journals already. 

Whenever I see organic candles or beauty products I have a moment of weakness and want to test and try them. I don’t really need this cream but it smells so good. I don’t really need this red lipstick but I might put it on anyway when I go to the National Art Center again and wear my dress. Lipstick and candles are on sale. And soap bars. They are so cheap. I will get all this and then head straight to the register. Oh, I forgot the toothbrushes. Petit Joel takes another bite of his (not paid for yet) croissant and I put two bamboo toothbrushes into our cart. And some mint floss. Fresh breath is important. I sail right past the seeds and nuts aisle (whoop whoop) and get just one bar of organic local Hummingbird Fleur de sel chocolate. A cup of tea + chocolate+ book = perfect evening/night to me. I have to get out of this store. My eye starts twitching when I add the chocolate to the cart but hiding it all the way underneath everything else is perfect. It is hidden so it does not exist. 

I quickly skim through the cleaning supplies aisle and shake my head at all this useless stuff that nobody needs. Like Swiffer with organic cotton pads that smell like lavender and strangely cute looking detergents liquid bubbly things that Petit Joel gave names to because they look like Minions. Some super organic dishwashing detergents and towels stay in the shelves and finally, Jesus Christ, I leave all this behind. 

I forget about my salmon/salad supper idea when we pass the buffet section. A little sushi would be awesome, too. The register is visible and my heart is pounding. I wander toward the register, grab some Fiddleheads, some aspartame free gum and load everything on the conveyor belt. I paid my bill (why  $210?) and skedaddle out of Whole Foods; three bags of food and other items while I realize that I have never been particularly bad with finances but I have never been great with them either. I usually do pretty well but then I splurge on books or at Whole Foods. Life is a learning process and I am working on being in charge of my expenses all (most of) the time. My former statistic professor would recommend to probably track my expenses in a spreadsheet or something. It reminds me of the time when I used to bring my food to work, all healthy and prepared in mason jars the night before and stored it in the fridge at work. My coworkers always thought I am so healthy and efficient  but then I went out for lunch to just get out of the office which gave me a nice opportunity to stretch my legs and see something different than the computer screen. 

I sometimes even buy a cookie and an apple juice for Petit Joel at Starbucks before I leave the library and pick him up. Sometimes even a soda because I was swayed by the cool bottle. For lunch, I venture sometimes outside of my routine and enjoy large bowls of phô. Okay, I am officially addicted to it and have been trying to stop  but I don’t see that happening anytime soon. It is just so delicious, satisfying and good (for and to me).

Is all this supposed to make me feel bad or ashamed? It might seem a lot for one shopping trip to some but all these things made me (us) really happy, our bellies full and sustained. This is life. It is okay and this salmon tasted pretty awesome with my salad after all since I placed the sushi back in the shelf. 

Now, I will just wait for my husband to call since I used his credit card…..

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Yoga Stories.

I have lost some weight (yay!) because of my new eating habits and thought about starting running again more often or taking some Yoga classes to get back in shape. I enjoy running a lot but Yoga helps me to relax more. I searched  for Yoga classes in my neighborhood but haven’t found anything I really enjoy or what would work with my University schedule next semester. 

I remember the time when I tried Bikram Yoga for the first time in New York. I thought, let’s try this, I thought. Could be awesome, I thought. With a blue yoga mat and my yoga outfit I was on time for the first session. The teacher told us to “relax” on the floor on our mats until all the students were here. I remember, I walked there directly from college so I was tired, exhausted, pretty numb and it was late in the evening. While I almost fell asleep on my mat I reckoned that this will be a nice, relaxing Yoga session even though I saw half-naked people all around me. It is New York after all. This is fine. Nothing is weird. I remember, one woman at Yoga practice who put honey and oil all over her body before she put her pants and shirt back on. If anyone would have worn a Krusty the Clown outfit throughout this Bikram Yoga Session , it would have been fine; honestly. 

At this point thought, I thought that Bikram Yoga means something like swinger-club-atmosphere because everybody took off layers and layers of clothing suddenly. I was still on my mat and observed what will happen next. I also removed my glasses pretty quickly [which made me blind as a bat] because the room had gotten severely HOT it seemed. Where is the comfortable incense or the candle? My little  water-filled KleanKanteen bottle sat patiently next to me. Suddenly, it had gotten even warmer in the room. My pupils and even my sweat sweated. It felt like my intestines were on fire. Downward facing dog… what did I sign up for? The instructor who was also almost naked just stood on a little platform it seemed, giving instructions to us via headset. He just constantly mentioned that we all need to feel our breath and keep listening to it. I just whispered to myself, “Just feel my pulse at this point, damnit!” My pulse sounds like my mom’s sewing machine that somehow found a way to live in my intestines. Is this healthy? Is this good for me? Additionally, I feel a bit dizzy or on the verge to pass out – WHY is it so warm in here? I have to drink, I need water, water is life. 

I pick up my water bottle while everybody else rests in “Child’s pose”. The bottle is gliding through my sweaty hands like a bar of soap. Water, I need more water. This heat is killing me. I thought about melting icebergs, antarctica and so much more – this room was boiling. I looked around and these half-naked people in all these crazy yoga positions.  I have taken yoga classes for a long time, and wondered if they are in pain. At this point,  I continued with my “Happy Baby Pose“. I feel better. I feel I can reach body parts that I could not touch a couple of days ago. If the surrounding would be a little different however, I would be happier and more comfortable.  The instructor now told us to “feel us” and “feel deep inside to find our true selves”. “What does he mean; what is his point, why do I need this, “I thought and asked myself back then. I did not know any better. 

The only thing I felt were muscles,bones and my whole body on fire at this point. Maybe this is it after all. I have done it. I survived this Bikram Yoga class and it wasn’t that bad after all. All my muscles and bones are back in their place again and I feel awesome. Finally, Shavasana – resting on the back after the workout and reflecting; diving deep into your own self. I like that. Laying on my back, eyes closed and hanging out with a bunch of thoughts that I should not even have had at this point because thoughts are “LIKE CLOUDS! LET THEM COME AND GO” – the instructor screams though his headset. “Why does he have to scream all the time”, I think while at the same time my eyes were closed and I fell asleep for a couple of minutes. He then walked around quietly without saying anything anymore. This is when I relaxed the most. In total quietness even though others breathed half naked and heavily next to me. I was at peace with myself. 

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Food Changes.

I love to eat. Food, food, food. Since my gallbladder issue, I have been in a food transition to a mix of raw/vegan/vegetarian mostly. I haven’t had an attack for three weeks so I reckon I do something right. Overall, I feel great and I even enjoyed some of the  food we prepared for Christmas today. I am completely honest here; I did indeed a bit of an eye roll here and there when I saw everybody eating sausages, meat and whatnot but then again, I never want to feel this severe pain again so I rather opted out. (owt!) 

I have more energy since I changed my eating habits and I know that I do not want to have surgery to have my gallbladder removed. This is why I even consider a complete change of my diet, just to avoid living without it. I have seen a “specialist” recently who told me everything about a gallbladder removal and how I can, after one week of recovery, eat everything I want again and continue life the way I did before. I expected a bit more of this consultation; especially, that this particular doctor would have told me of possible options so I won’t need surgery. All they really want is to remove things of my body as fast as possible it seems. Isn’t it all about money anyway? 

My diet was actually pretty good before I have gotten sick. However, cutting out certain fatty foods makes me feel less tired and sluggish. My beloved camembert had to stay on the cheese tray tonight. In a nutshell: What I am trying these days is to cut out as many fatty foods as possible and to detox with green smoothies every morning. I have this overall feeling that my body is cleaning. Sometimes, it just feels good to kick out the garbage and junk, even though it is Christmas and all the food in the world is available to indulge in, I reckon. It is not that I am ever dying for french fries or anything specific, right? I don’t need junk food or high oil foods. What I don’t want to live without though is pho and sushi which I can still eat. And as long as my intestines don’t feel weird I think I figured out a good rhythms that works well for me. I am getting thinner but I don’t feel weak, instead stronger. I cannot see into the future and I really don’t know what will happen or how I will feel after whatever I eat these days but right now the improvements have been good and somewhat completely undeniable. So for now, I will stick with this diet because I feel good and steady but I also know it changes my life which is also pretty exciting. 

Besides the food issue, I hope your overall mood tonight was great. Christmas and the entire family being together in one house sometimes might be rather challenging. Everybody has their issues. There might be anxiety, stress, rollercoaster emotions, the occasional fight and argument here and there and whatnot. But it is all good. I just do whatever feels okay for ME. What makes me happy and content. I am signing off now, making myself another cup of tea, reading a bit and then going to bed. Life is good, comfortable and calming these days. I hope it is for you, too. 

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Thoughts on Fashion.

I walked around in Coburg a bit while I waited for my friend Mischa because we wanted to meet at the Christmas Market.  I picked up my glasses at the Eyeglass store  Fielmann because Petit Joel scratched mine pretty badly.  The salesperson told me initially it will costs 87 Euros to replace the glasses and I remembered my friend Judith who told me to check with them again and ask for a cheaper, 27 Euro, option. I ended up paying 27 Euros for pretty decent replacement glasses and my question is, why they did not mention the “cheaper alternative” in the first place. Do ask for it, if you need glasses from Fielmann in Germany!! 

I was happy about my 60! Euro (not 50!) win and decided to visit some clothing stores before I meet my friend. “Just to kill some time”, I said to myself. While I walked around I thought to push some boundaries of this idea what fashion even is. Many clothing stores in Coburg surprisingly (or not) closed or are closing soon and I guess the next move will be to build malls here for people to shop. This makes me sad because these little stores in Coburg have some sort of charm that I don’t want to miss. 

Looking at myself and evaluating my clothing on a daily basis, I have to say that it is not much of an “outfit” I am wearing. It is usually just a pair of black, grey or blue jeans combined with a tank top and a sweater or shirt in winter and sometimes at home just sweatpants with holes at delicate areas paired with a weird hoodie or knitted sweater. Maybe it is pushing the boundaries a little, but who the hell cares. I am at home and I am comfortable. If I would pair this outfit with a pink bathrobe it would be okay, too. With this attire (minus the pink bathrobe) I am even able to go to the local bakery, walk to the local deli almost across the street and don’t care if anybody judges my life. Not that I care in the first place! You know why? Because I am pioneering a new leisure genre. Needless to say, I dress up when I go out, but also not to any insane extend. I like to wear dresses or skirts but it has to be comfortable. I am not squeezing myself into anything just to “impress” anybody.

I love my look at home the most – Hoodie and sweatpants while I check my emails or work on journals and articles for school. And it is not even uncomfortable if I answer the door in this said outfit for the UPS guy. Who the hell cares! So, with all this in mind, I am touring through Coburg’s Fashion stores with a somewhat “who cares attitude” to find clothing for me that are a more appropriate approach to 2016’s fashion other than a look of “hobo-homeless-chic-style” because I have heard sentences like “You have to get a new sweater! All these linty lumps all over your black turtleneck are just gross”! I don’t agree at all here, okay! The sweater is totally fine!  Nothing wrong with it. 

What time is it? I am checking my phone because I don’t own or want a watch. Fifteen minutes before I will meet my friend. Still time to visit one store to maybe find a lint free black new sweater. I enter the first store on my route and my thought was, “Who is wearing those kind of shorts now? Did a hooker leave them here by mistake or are they actually on sale”? I also found a bunch of outfits that fall into the category of ‘way too cozy or destitute’ that kept me wondering or pondering where this all came from or who would wear mesmerizing, mysterious garment like this ever. In my opinion nobody should  purchase those clothes.

Did I end up buying any clothing? Nope. I was just so disappointed what fashion options are out there and how unimportant all this is. Fashion just creates an illusion! How you should look, how you should dress, how you should decorate yourself to hide your true self and others don’t see who you really are. Who the hell cares what others think! You just wear whatever makes you feel good. Not following any fashion trends makes me feels so much better. 

I walked out of the store. The air was so warm almost sticky and full of chemicals anyway. Have you ever wondered why those clothes at certain stores are so cheap? Duh! THINK! I walked out into the fresh air, closed and buttoned up my jacket, took a deep breath and kept walking to meet my friend. Happy. Content. In my bag, nothing but my notebook, pen, recent book I am reading and excitement to finally talk to him after a long time. 

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How to: Hearty Carrot Potato Ginger Soup.

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It is cold in Canada and I am experiencing some sort of Winter Blues. Petit Joel and I are outside as much as possible. We built snowwomen and snow castles while being all wrapped up in layers and layers of clothing. Winter calls for warm, comfy food and the first thing that comes to my mind is: soup. I have been in some sort of battle with my intestines (gallbladder, yikes!) lately, but I am slowly but surely on the road to recovery. I have to be careful what I eat and cut out most things fatty for now. So what can we eat? Petit Joel is still my picky eater but he is getting better and always eats/tries everything in school – just not my food. Go figure, eh! This soup he loves and eats so win-win. 

For supper, we recently enjoy this carrot/ginger soup which is so tasty and hits the spot when we come back inside half frozen. It is super fast and easy to make, too and has been a go-to of mine for a few weeks now. All you need is a couple of basic ingredients, throw them into a pot and blend after. I don’t drink regular milk, so I used coconut milk instead. [I am typing all this at my local bookstore: The guy to my right wears a complete Scottish Kilt and the guy behind me laughs like this! They do serve very good coffee though and it is book-heaven, so it is all good and fun!] Back to my soup. I got off on a tangent here. What I wanted to say was, the coconut milk gives the soup this creamy, rich texture and flavor. 😀 

[mpprecipe-recipe:63]

 

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Stress Is Bad – My Academic and Overall Stress-Prevention 101.

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It has been pretty quiet on my blog these days. From writing daily to writing once or maybe twice a week is a pretty drastic change for me, too. This year was somewhat crazy. A lot of changes and adjustments but there has been one thing I have spent a lot on. Making sure that I spent enough time to de-stress, be calm and sort out all this mess that is going through my head. The Master Program at my University is no joke – I thought it would be easy-breezy but it is far from that. So usually, I spend my days at the library on a daily basis. I read, I write and I research. It is all fun, but it can get tiring and overwhelming. Especially, since this semester is almost over. 

Do you still find an empty seat on the third floor at Carleton Library’s Silent Floor? Barely! Everybody tries to get the final assignments and papers in or prepares for exams. Me: Writing a 30-page final paper for a Systemic Functional Linguistics class is also not that much fun. I have had a pretty busy week with a lot on my mind and simply want to sit back and relax (or read for pleasure? what was that all about again?)  but here are some tips that I use to de-stress and help to relax throughout this crazy final-paper-time – physically, mentally and emotionally. 

Candles and Tea

At night, my favorite thing these days is to light some candles, make myself a cup of tea and just relax for a while before I go back to my office to work. Reflect on the day, maybe read something for pleasure or talk to friends. I also love to bake some almonds in the oven and eat those while they are still hot and sip my tea and read. The little things! And then I do not think about my thesis – not at all. Not at all!  Bing-bong! 

Writing. 

I write, read and type all day long. This is my passion. This is what makes me happy. But journaling and blogging is something that somewhat fell behind these days. I used to write in my diary since I learned the alphabet. Now it is somewhat online, and I am thinking about adding different categories on the blog. More about this soon. For now, I want to emphasize that writing is great and such an important part of my life and I always encourage others to write, too. To release thoughts, ideas and whatnot you might come to a conclusion you never thought of. For me, with my blog, it gives me the chance to be honest and I don’t care about being judged. Basically, I just get creative and redirect my focus to something that brings me back into the moment and takes me out of my head and basically into my body. Jogging, bookstore-book browsing, writing, whatever works. 

Healthy Eating. 

I have recently been diagnosed with a severe gastritis and gallstones and I was shocked. I will write a separate post about it all, but in a nutshell: It was one of the most painful experiences in my life. I wonder why this happened because I consider myself a pretty healthy person and my eating habits are also good, I reckon. I am (almost-damn you pho!) vegetarian, smoothy-ing my way into the day and eating a salad at night so what is going on? NO clue! It just happened. We are all vulnerable – even though if we live pretty healthy. Note to self: I have to keep this in mind. 

Movement. 

These days, I love to run in the park. I don’t like going to the gym. Gym is not my thing. But being in nature helps me to de-stess my mind and  body and I am able to relax. It helps me to bring me out of my past or my future and makes me focus on the present. It also helps to release endorphins or any tensions – especially from sitting in the “lieberry” for several hours. I am able to unwind my mind this way. Maybe you can, too. 

Deep Breathing/Sleeping. 

Especially, since my son was born, deep breathing has helped me to calm down. Done properly it is magic and helped me to relax, rest and even promotes mental clarity. The great things is that I can do it everywhere. We breath all day long anyway, right?! I lived in this concrete jungle, New York City, for over ten years so I know what I am talking about when I mention stress. This constant rush of a bustling city can be somewhat overwhelming and I needed time to relax. It is fun and exciting but also scary and way too busy for me. Things can get pretty heavy for city dwellers ,eh?! Sleep is also important. I try to get 7-8 hours of sleep every night. [Sometimes it might happen that I don’t sleep enough due to artistic intercourse or course work but then it is always worth it in the end anyway] 

Getting out of Bed in the Morning . 

I know, I know. This Friday class I am taking starts at 8.35 am! WTH! How did I ever sing up for this? Keep in mind, that I also have to take care of Petit Joel. He needs his breakfast and routine, so Mama has to get up on time. I set my alarm clock at 6.30 am and wake up thinking first that I am happy to be awake. Seriously! We should never take this for granted. This already makes me feel good every single day. I do some Yoga and stretching because I literally put my Yoga mat next to my bed to fall onto it. Then I take a shower, start my day with a green Smoothie, wake my son up, make him breakfast and off we go. This little routine makes me feel good every morning and it really helps. I don’t want to rush and be stressed out in the morning already. 

Every single day ins Unique. Cherish every Day. 

I love to observe my surroundings, especially people. I write things down that move or inspire me. Carry a notebook or journal. I write special things down that happen throughout the day, silly or funny thoughts. I enjoy things that make me laugh, cry, happy, sad; things that catch my eye and I will take a picture of it because this way the image will be unique and won’t disappear on me. Observing things with fresh eyes while giving off the energy I want to attract. A smile goes a long way and I reckon small acts of kindness will make all the difference. The more I give, the more I get. I also make sure I do enjoy all this time I spend in the library. I make it work for me. I can do this with everything else, too. Write poetry while taking the bus – write something beautiful for someone you love. [bus poetry I love but I don’t like explications and Words & Meanings] 

Laugh. 

Isn’t laughter the best medicine? I always make sure I spend time with those who make me happy and make me laugh because those can always cheer me up whenever I am down. They help put my life back into perspective. It is not that bad after all. 

Also, it is so important for me to have a quiet day here and there and lounge at home while having a lazy evening and watch Paw Patrol with my three year-old son. I can get some rest too while he enjoys this show and I am close to him at the same time. I will make some soul food for him and I and stay positive even though this paper won’t write itself. I embrace it all, anyway. And smile.

“Everything will be okay in the end. If it is not okay, it is not the end”. – John Lennon. 

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Artistic Intercourse and Self-Care.

Fence Post Shadows – by Judith Lockett

Ottawa is a breathing, living city where inspiration seems to be around every corner. I think it is just a center for culture and art and even wandering the streets in my neighborhood is one of the most rewarding experiences. The unexpected discoveries are the best, in my opinion. I sat inside a coffee shop on Bank Street the other day and thought about what countless galleries and museums I will visit next. There are just so many amazing places and I am building up a somewhat deep love for this city. 

I was always a bit on the artsy side and interested in any art exhibit. Going to a museum and being able to spend several hours there discovering art is soul-food and self-care for me. However, it took a lot of unraveling, being uncertain or shifting to be comfortable at the point where I am right now. Whenever it comes to self-care, I forgot the importance of creating some type of boundaries while I attempted to take a couple of steps back in the direction of evolution and self-improvement. Taking steps back is not always easy or comfortable but was essential to my personal sanity and growth. I just want to protect this magic that is within me. 

What I learned on my self-care journey so far is that looking at unwinding, saying “no” and decompressing in a healthy way is a must for my personal growth. This took a lot of practice. Years of practice. I am “only” 35 years-old and for quite some time I let the comfort of simply being surrounded by others dictate how I arranged my life or moved through it. I worried how others saw me, if they liked me or if I am accepted by everyone but myself. To fit in, I tried to bend, shape and mold myself into something that I was not. People used to walk freely in and out of my life like it was some sort of revolving door and some left a huge mess behind because I did not create this safe space or some type of healthy boundaries. So how did I feel throughout all this? Internally, I was struggling hard and externally, I was tired and drained most of the time. 

Adirondack Chair – Judith Lockett

How did I start this transition into more self-care? It was lonely at first, but I am fine with me, myself and I. Sometimes this means cutting ties or losing friends. And sometimes just a simple “no” without feeling being swallowed up by guilt afterwards were concepts I worked on and became pretty good at. I needed to go out and enjoy one of the best ballet performances I have ever seen tonight for example. And I was comfortable hiring a new babysitter for the night and not even thinking about what could go wrong. Stepping away when I need time for myself is something I implemented and that works really well these days. In the beginning however, it was some sort of awkward transition and taking “me time” felt selfish because I could rather spend the time with my son and safe the money I would spend on a babysitter. It felt almost rude to go out at night. This would be categorized under “Unhealthy Attachments 101” I reckon. 

Self-care is not selfish. Living this life that puts me first and anybody else second is great and I can give the greatest attention to others [my son for example], after I have nurtured myself. And whenever I somewhat cater to the home front I am able to shine for others in a way that feels good to everybody involved. This is why people like me. I figured it out. Ha! Today, I was glad to have been invited to an amazing art exhibit of my friend Judith Lockett. Whenever I read “Art & Wine” on an invitation, most likely count me in. So Petit Joel and I spent the most amazing afternoon at Judith’s and Keith’s house and this was all food for my soul for me. Great conversations about art, life and so much more. I love to indulge in things that fill me up with confidence and especially without the attachments fear or uncertainty. Self-care is just rewarding. 

After we left, I realized that this type of artistic intercourse and self-care was like getting to know myself all over again. It was a humbling, free and comfortable feeling. It feels so great to be able to indulge in things that fill me up and make me happy. Peace of mind is key for me and being happy with what I have manifested is salient. Who knows what tomorrow or the future will bring. Bring it on. I am open for it. [Ryder to the rescue. Just Yelp for Help.] And I am desperate to check out the Nordik Spa here in Ottawa!