I knew nothing about owning a home, or any property for that matter, as I have always rented based on how things were looking, and I thought I will most likely rent for the rest of my life. Here’s what I assume owning a home…
*Just kidding. This is only a very small selection of the things I have done to impress others.
Ultimately, do I think movie characters shaped me as a human? No, not entirely. That honour belongs to my parents, siblings, teachers, boyfriends, and tons of reading. But I do think that what we see on-screen shows as possibilities. Movies give us the lesson of what life might look like if you were like someone if you acted as they did. I took a hard look at some movies that shaped my teens and movies that I watched over and over again. There are way more than three, obviously. To me, anything Woody Allen is classic, for example. You either love or hate him. And my all time favourite Howl, a movie about Allen Ginsberg and his famous poem Howl. So, here are my three picks for this article.
You’ve got Mail.
Anything Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks are in together rocks. Anything! In this movie, Kathleen Kelly (Meg Ryan) is trying to run the children’s bookstore she inherited from her mother while dating the world’s most boring man alive when she starts up an internet flirtationship with Joe Fox (Tom Hanks). Just- Call- Me- Joe is a very New York piece of shit who owns a book “superstore”. Unbeknownst to Joe and Kathleen, they are rivals in real life even as they’re falling in love online! Can you believe it? I can! The writing is, as per usual in a Nora Ephron movie flawless, but Kathleen is a bit of a sweet dope. Perhaps the best part of her character is that Joe Fox brings out the worst in her instead of the best, which is very fun to watch, if problematic in real life. Of course, as they spend more time together, Joe becomes a better, kinder person (the journey seemingly every single man ever must go on because they all suck before a woman helps them realize they need to not suck) and Kathleen stops having to be biting and mean; she submits to the grief of losing her business and tries to make a full life for herself, which weirdly includes a friendship with Joe before she finds out that she’s been cyber-dating him. Verdict: Supringsingly harmful? A lot has been said about this, much of it by my boyfriend every time (I force him to watch it with me) I try to watch this lovely, perfect film, but Joe Fox is less than ideal. He is a multimillionaire, first of all, and a dick to her. Plus, this movie gave me the idea that you could viably own a bookstore in New York and afford to live. She should have ended up with Patricia Eden. Or just single with Birdie.
Notting Hill.
This movie was groundbreaking because it featured an unlikable female lead! I have multiple friends who don’t like this movie because Anna Scott (Julia Roberts) is kind of a bitch and I am like… that is the point of the movie! Do you know how many unlikable male leads there have been? Come on. This woman gets to mess up and be powerful and be harmful and end up with a bangin’-hot bookstore owner who lives in Notting Hill? Are you joking me? Verdict: I want to say helpful because I am in love with a movie having an unlikable lead woman, but ultimately this was harmful because I am not a famous actress, I don’t have sex with 1999 Hugh Grant, and I am not getting to be a little bit of a bitch about it. Unrealistic expectations: set. And, obviously I identify mostly with a female Spike because I love eating my cereal with a diving suit and goggles on while smoking a cigarette.
When Harry met Sally
Nora Ephron said that this was her favourite movie and that she watched if fifteen thousand times and guess what? Nora Ephron is never wrong. I mean, she wrote the script!!!! This is obviously the big daddy of movies; the apotheosis. And it could never get made today. Why? Well, because it is mostly a movie of people sitting around talking. Very little “happens” in the way that Hollywood people want things to “happen”. (As sleeping with your best friend is not a thing happening). Regardless, the movie is perfect; there are some lines that are so brilliant they make me want to scoop out my eyes with a spoon. Anyway, this film brought to the mainstream the question of whether straight women and straight men can be friends. Most people think that the answer the movie gives is no, straight men and straight women cannot be friends, because sex always gets in the way (as it eventually, delightfully did for Harry [Billy Crystal] and Sally [Meg Ryan]). This is nonsense! The two are friends for years. They are excellent friends to one another. Anyway, one of the most key moments of Sally’s characters is when she is crying about an ex, Joe, whom she thought she was over, and she cry-yells, “I am difficult!” It’s hilarious and raw and real and every woman I know can relate to feeling like you are simply too much work to love. Verdict: Sally Albright is a gem. Helpful depiction of a “difficult” woman being loved. Altough if you think Sally Albright is difficult, God help you.
Just hang out with me for a while.
I do not, under any circumstances want to do Zumba with you. Workout classes, I am sorry to say, are the opiate of the already fit, or the already thin, if we are being quite honest with ourselves. I know. I know I am allowed…
People of every age are interested in bettering themselves. I guess with this in mind the majority chooses which profession to pick. Most professions require specific training and skills such as three years of military or police experience. Some, however, those a bit off the…
In light of the recent school changes with the Omicron mutation I have compiled a list of questions from concerned parents. Please submit your questions below. Maybe our school board (bored?) team will read and answer them.
“If I’m fully vaccinated and boosted, will my newborn receive any immunity to Omicron while breastfeeding, and will she be able to meet her grandparents before she turns five?”
— Sarah, new mother
“When I take my kids to the indoor Playground and there is a sign next to an empty hand sanitiser that says, LEAVE THE GERMS OUTSIDE, but fifty people are gathering indoors without masks, should I laugh or cry? Or do they mean to leave the kids outside?”
— Christian, father of three
“If an unmasked person does not adhere to two meters of distance in the supermarket near my unvaccinated children, do I invite them home to spend time alone with my kids for the approximate one million hours that exist between 7:00 a.m. and 7:00 p.m.?”
— Kirsten, mother of three children under five
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“When I am at the drugstore with my infant and a masked costumer ridicules me for not maintaining distance while fake-coughing in my direction, can I punch her in the face or would that put me at risk for Omicron?”
— Claudia, first-time mom
“If my unvaccinated child has to attend preschool so I can work to pay for said preschool and to add to the crippling debt of my never-ending student loans, when will the Equal Rights Amendment be ratified by all fifty states in America?”
— Johanna, mother of two
“With Omicron being the most contagious variant yet and my baby too young to wear a mask for supermarket trips, should I splurge on online delivery services for groceries or begin hunting wild game in my backyard and building a complicated gutter system to capture rainwater?”
— Cal, first-time dad
“If my kids go to a school where everyone will be send home if a sister of a student who is not even in the school tested positive five days ago but wasn’t even in school for the last ten weeks and we are forced to stay at home quarantined in eighteen-degree rainy weather, is drinking alone still a red flag for alcoholism?”
— Klara, mother of four
“Since we’ve been quarantining to protect our child for nearly two years while anti-vax, anti-mask people populate our playground, is there a God and does she believe in chaos theory?”
— Kayla, mother of two
“If I keep my unvaccinated children home from school to protect them from the latest COVID surge, who will be more developmentally delayed—the twins because they missed preschool or me because I had to leave my career at forty?”
— Ellen, mother of twins
“Why does God hate me? Is it something I did? Did I have too many sexual thoughts as a teen? Is this because I bent that car’s fender while pulling out of the parking garage and didn’t leave a note on the other car’s windshield?”
— Daniela, parent of an eight-year-old
“Day after day, I dream of driving my head through a wall and watching the small pieces of plaster and dust gather at my feet while the pain slowly builds in my forehead and spreads behind my eyes. Is this an Omicron thing?”
— Roman, father of four
“As a high-risk pregnancy, I’m concerned about contracting Omicron. With no support for parents navigating the unassailable reality of raising children during a pandemic while struggling to afford childcare, nannies, groceries, I’m just wondering… will people give a shit about my children once they are born or do people only care about them while they are still in the womb?”
— Julie, expectant mother
Thank you for your questions. We look forward to answering them during our Friday briefing at noon which will be cancelled on a short notice due to Covid.
Have you ever had an afternoon free, or even an hour you could be resting or doing something you enjoy, only to wither it away thinking about past disappointments, worry about the future, or replaying embarrassing moments or awkward conversations over and over? Many of…
Times are tough right now and sometimes we need some small reminders of ways to support our mental and physical wellbeing. In today’s article, I am covering some very small healthy habits for the body and mind. Sometimes unexpected things happen in life and it…
“We need to get back to normal,” they say, while I continue to live my life normally, having barely changed my behaviour and lifestyle—or faced any of the horrifying consequences millions of other people have—during the entirety of this still-ongoing pandemic.
“You cannot buy clothes or shoes anymore unless you have 2G,” they say at a clothing store while I wonder if the virus knows the difference between this store and a fully packed grocery store where I am allowed to enter.
“When can we go out to dinner again?” they say as I walk into a restaurant full of people indoor dining and taking a seat.
“When can I see my friends again?” they ask my friends, whom I’m eating dinner with right now.
“When will these restrictions end so we can finally start living our lives and go to clubs again?” they demand while I imagine building a swimming pond and sauna in my backyard.
“You should get your kid vaccinated,” they say, while I give my son tons of Vitamine D3 and healthy food to strengthen his immune system.
“You should get your third booster shot. Even though they have heart issues from the first vaccine but this time they got Pfitzer,” they say while I shake my head in silence breathing deeply.
“This is the kind of stuff we’re missing out on because of lockdown but now we got the booster shots so we can see this movie”, they say while sitting in the front row at a packed showing at the movie theater, while I take a walk into the woods with my son to show him how awesome nature is.
“Stop making me wear a mask!” they shout, while I am maskless or “prepped” mine.
“When will we stop being governed by fear?” they ask, quizzing random people at the mall while I tell my son to not be afraid and that this too will pass.
“Your kids should be in school right now!” they say to a mom, who is constantly anxious because her kids are not in school while my kid, in fact, still is and was in school the entire time.
“The federal government has to stop with all these lockdowns,” they insist, in a country whose government wants a mandatory vaccination, while I say this will not be mandatory in the end and I rather pay the fines than get this vaccine.
“This is Orwellian!” they declare while I am on a crowded subway train wondering while 2-meters-distance does not apply here.
“You cannot pay for your books here if you don’t have 2G,” they say while we walked around in the bookstore for two hours already but now I have to ask my son to pay for the books because he is eight years old and I am not allowed to purchase the books but he is.
“I just want my life back!” they yell while I am on a date with someone at the Ginsberg Bar in Vienna.
“I’m done with COVID and these measurements, rules and regulations have to stop,” I say on a TV show broadcasting across a country while thousands of people are backing me up.
“Enough is enough—we can’t do this forever,” I say.
Is this government and these measurements for real? Leave your comments below.
Microbiome whaaaaat? What is she talking about now? Well, let me enlighten you. Science is now showing how powerful our microbiome is, and how it influences many different areas of our body. In today’s post, I am covering what the microbiome is, why it’s so…