.They Can Say No.

Just ask for a promotion! What’s the worst that can happen? They say no? And your already fragile self-esteem is irreparably damaged? It’s really not that big of a deal.

Oh, shit! I am sorry to hear you didn’t get the promotion. I wouldn’t feel awkward about it. You were leaning in, after all. Well, if you are not comfortable sitting next to the guy who denied you that promotion, just ask for a different office. The worst they can say is no!

Okay, I really had no idea they set up a desk for you in the basement now. At least rats don’t talk, right? Why don’t you ask if they will bring in an exterminator?Worst-case-scenario, they say no.

You got fired??? For asking if you could get an exterminator? That’s so odd. Maybe they were just looking for a reason to fire you. Were you otherwise bad at your job? You should ask if it’s actually because you are a woman. What’s the worst that can happen if you ask? They say no?

If you really think you got fired unlawfully, hire a lawyer! At least, call one and ask if they will take on your case. There is really no risk to that whatsoever; they will probably offer a free trial, even ! Get it – trial – like, for lawyers? Besides, if you tell them the truth, the worst they can say is no.

Okay, I did not know they would bill you 15,000 Euro for an hour consult with a lawyer. My bad. Hope it was helpful, at least. Can you ask for a refund? They might laugh at you, but still worth trying.

Your parents will be sympathetic about you needing to borrow money right now. You are their daughter. Ask for what you want! Take control of your own destiny! Shoot for the moon, because even if you miss, the worst that can happen is the stars say no…..

Damn, I didn’t realise your parents would write you out of their will if you asked for money one more time. That seems harsh but fair. No, I have never borrowed money from my parents. “Borrowing” is when you pay them back, right?

Okay, so if I am understanding things correctly, you are now 40,000 Euro in debt? Why don’t you ask the credit company for, like, an extension? That’s normal, I think. I used to get them all the time for papers in college. The worst they can say is no!

I knew the would say yes! Sorry about eh 67% interest rate. It could be worse. Like imagine if it were 69% – LOL 69.

You seem really stressed about money. Have you tried therapy for your anxiety? I will send you a link. Just ask if they have room for one more patient! The worst they can say is no. No offence, but you literally have nothing to lose.

Oh, wow. I did not realise that link I sent was actually a scam. Well, on the bright side, you are already in so much debt that a little more doesn’t really matter, does it?

I know you can make back the money you owe! Just ask for your old job back! Tell them you were so silly for asking for a promotion to begin with, and now you are (much) older and wiser. And the worst they can say is no, isn’t it?

Yay! They hired you back at 70% of your old salary! Now you really understand the wage gap between men and women. Congratulations! And by my calculations, you should be out of debt by the year 2174. Maybe they will let you off easy if you die before then, though – just ask.

Wait, you want me to give you a ride to work? Because the bank repossessed your car? It s a really bad time for me – I am three weeks away from getting my period. Ugh, please don’t put me in a position where I have to say no. I hate that.

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