“Never make your home in a place. Make a home for yourself inside your own head. You’ll find what you need to furnish it – memory, friends you can trust, love of learning, and other such things. That way it will go with you wherever you journey.” – Tad Williams
With my life being different than a regular life ( I am not using “normal here because what is normal?) I have been doing quite some thinking recently about home. I believe it is not only because I am on the verge of leaving to go to Martinique to meet my love and his family and spend some quality time there but it is the whole concept of “leaving something behind.” These last couple of months here where just a new perspective – on being back at my parents’ house. I have always always loved it here in Coburg. This is my base; this is where I grew up. This is where I always feel safe. When I was in New York I always felt a desire to be back home. Throughout my entire life I had a hard time saying goodbye to my family for example. Now, I have learned to just let go. I know the people I love the most are in my heart. No matter where I go. Goodbyes are part of my life.
This past year and a half has been the most interesting time and learning experience for me I have had in a while. I believe if we are not changing and growing we are stuck in the same place. I constantly ask myself how I can be better. Kind of like moving forward from where I am and growing from mistakes I have made. And yes, I made a lot. 😀
As I am typing this the world is moving. It seems it is moving faster and faster but sometimes I wish it could just stop at points or go a little slower. Make the walk in the woods with my son last forever. Enjoy ever single second I spent with my husband whenever we see each other. I just want to enjoy these seconds, minutes, days as they flutter by and find beauty in the simple things. Intentionally and slowly.
Now I feel I have to move on and empty my mind and adapt to something new. See and do something different and new. Give this “kitchen office” back to my parents. I feel that I have grown out of it – I am able to see it clearly now. I am at a point in my life where I am not wishing away my tomorrows or todays. I know I want my family together rooted securely somewhere solid. The best part about this all is that wherever we are – just being together it feels like home. Wherever we are together it feels right.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VqHSbMR_udo
