360 Degrees.

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“You’re off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting,
So… get on your way!”
― Dr. Seuss, Oh, The Places You’ll Go!

A couple of months ago, a friend of mine told me that she is going through some major changes in her life. She told me she stopped smoking, drinking and started working out like crazy. “Major changes – a real 360 degree change,” she said while sipping her coffee. My family and I go through some changes as well. There is a big milestone ahead of Petit Joel. He will start preschool tomorrow. Even typing this gives me tiny goosebumps. How is this even possible? I just gave birth to him, right? How I used to rock him to sleep on my bed before he drifted off. Then I smelled his hair or felt his tiny breath on my neck, thinking about all the places he will go. How our life together will be, who he will become. 

Yesterday I bought him a baseball hat because he needs one for preschool. He looks so grown up. Also, while going through his clothes to find something nice for him to wear tomorrow, I realized that a bunch of stuff is too short already. Again! Didn’t we just purchase those jeans?  All this stuff runs through my head. Thinking how he was last year or the year before. And one day, he will walk to school alone for the first time. It feels so weird sometimes. So unreal, thinking about how it is all going from where I was a couple of years ago. I never wanted to have children and suddenly we are here, getting ready for a new chapter in his tiny life. 

Oh, The Places You’ll Go by Dr. Seuss 

This evening I made dinner for Petit Joel and we sat together later with a book and talked for a while. There was a little tree trimming action in the park where we live and Petit Joel loved it. It is always interesting to ask about chainsaws and whatnot when it is time to go to bed I reckon. He laid his head in my lap and asked me to pet his hair. He was quiet for some time after and I took it all in; enjoyed the silence and thinking that I will remember this night probably forever. Soon however it will feel that this day will be a million miles away and he will go to school. I was looking forward to this day for a long time; especially after realizing that he needs to be around other kids when we have been to the playground. And I was fortunate enough to raise him at home for almost three years. In any case, his first day of preschool will sort of end this time as we know it. I know he will be fine. I know he will love it. Tomorrow he will be playing with his new little friends for approximately one hour to get him used to the whole preschool concept. This will continue for a week or so, depending how comfortable he is when eating or “resting” there after lunch. 

I know my little man is ready because I prepared him for this. Am I ready? I am. I am his mother but I also know that I have to let him go, discover and explore on his own. Also, at some point he will pack his suitcase and move out. Hah! And as fast as those three years had gone by, this time will be here in like 10 minutes. So I am sitting here at the kitchen counter, typing this while he is sound asleep in his bed. I take a step back, take a little moment and file this night away. Preschool Eve for my first baby, everyone.  Here we go…

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