Damn you, Sadness.

Hello and Happy Thursday!

Finally, the day arrived and it is time to say goodbye to my parents. Le husband is back from Somalia to pick us up and we all travel together to Canada. I wrote about that this day will come many times and of course looking back at almost three years spent here, I depart with one sad and one happy eye. New challenges, new adventures but also constantly reflecting and thinking about those awesome days I spent here. People I met, old friends I reconnected with, grandparents and family time – mostly things that I was not able to do when I visited my parents once a year for three weeks on average. It was good, it was fun and it was so helpful. There are no words to thank my parents enough for what they have done for us. I love them unconditionally and they know it. 

Soon enough I am going to be about 8000 miles away from my home base, building my new life, a different life, together with my family. I am keeping my chin up, even though it is emotional. I know I am just a plane ride away and we are all healthy which is the most important thing. I am beyond grateful to have a family like this. They are awesome! 

I know that homesickness will affect me at different times of my new adventure even though I am looking forward to it all. Especially University-life and Petit Joel’s Montessori Kindergarten experience. It is not my first time moving away from home for good but I can assure you, it won’t get easier. And homesickness hits me always the hardest whenever I struggle with something in my new surroundings. When I miss my family, my friends and the life I lived, comfortably at home; even thought I know and knew it cannot go on like this forever. My parents want to do their own thing and enjoy their life together (or not)  but in peace and without Petit Joel running around the entire time whenever my mom or dad wants to rest.

There will be hard/tough days alone. Alone with Petit Joel. Alone with myself but I will figure out a way. I just have to keep in mind that bad days also end at some point and dwelling on them won’t help in any way. It will all get smoother again and I appreciate the ride while being present. 

If something does not work out right away I just have patience or figure out another way. Wherever I am. There are only solutions. Time will pass and new options will open up. Wherever I was on this planet so far and felt so homesick I could not take it anymore, I simply flew home. I stepped into my parent’s home and everything was fine again. I was in this safety bubble that kept me warm and secure. I love to have this feeling at all times. To know that I have this  place to return to, to grow and feel so comfortable is impotent to me. 

We had the best evening ever today. Susi and Alex came over to spend some time with us before we leave. There was food, drinks and this certain type of warmth that you receive when people you love are around. I will miss both a lot. Petit Joel and their son Julius are good friends and played together almost every single day. I know Petit Joel will find new friends in Canada but still…. it all makes me sad again. One chapter closes and a new one opens. It will all be okay but everybody loves a certain type of routine. 

There will be some changes on the website. I won’t be able to write every single day anymore due to traveling, University, moving and whatnot. I will post pictures and updates, especially for my family who follow my blog consistently. Besides, I am working on a new theme and layout. Will you stick around? Follow our Canada adventure if you would like. Updates soon. Stay tuned.