Artwork Mischa Schenkel
Hello and Happy Monday!
Petit Joel and I have been at a funeral today. Mine and his first casket funeral and it was very emotional. Petit Joel did not say a word (unusual) throughout the entire ceremony and was close to me when they slowly let down the casket. I cried a bit, in-and out. I remember the person as a good man and we had our last longer conversation last year in July, just before I left to Martinique. He was okay, he was funny, he was battling cancer but he was alive. Things changed and have gotten worse and he passed away. They slowly let down the casket and Let It Be by the Beatles (a song he loved) played silently in the background. Petit Joel and I threw two daisies in the grave-hole and said goodbye to him. Goodbye to the memories I shared with him way back when when we were kids.
Throughout the ceremony, I observed cars driving by the cemetery. Life proceeded ike nothing every happened. People do their thing – the world keeps spinning, even though one awesome person passed away. What my mom and I observed while the priest held her speech was a screaming eagle high up in the air. As soon as the casket had been lowered, this bird flew around a couple of times in the air and let out a scream. This was the best part about the entire funeral. This was him – him saying goodbye to all of us. This is what I believe.
After the funeral we all felt sad and full of thoughts and ended up talking at a café with a friend who also attended the funeral. Setting up our emotional selfs for talks and new adventures. The cars still kept driving by, life still moves on.
My life moves on – to Canada. Le husband and I will explore new territory, new challenges, new discoveries. I am shaking my head in some type of wonder, asking myself, “how I am so lucky to be here still, alive and healthy?’ I found myself today – somewhere I will never forget. My heart aches to live in the moment more than ever since today and I need to nourish that need. Some things constantly change, others change slower and the only constant thing in live is change. Really think about it! Some plans or adventures have to adjust and of course I have to be patient, courageous or more receptive and move on sometimes.
I want to be present and live in the moment. I will put my phone away and turn my computer off more often. I don’t think about what I missed out on and I am reflective as I was today. Thing that have been causing unnecessary stress in my life will be jotted down.
I thought about all the moments and wonderful times we spent as kids with this great person who passed away. I am grateful for all the laughs and chats when we walked to his physiotherapy office last year. I wish the family all the best and tons of strength. It was good to have seen you all today. Love!
