Hello and Happy Monday!
We spent the entire afternoon in the woods collecting wild garlic (bear leak, ramson) and dandelion for more syrup. The wild garlic is awesome for pesto when used fresh with (homemade) pasta or just frozen to add to any dish. It is really yummy with potatoes, mixed together with spinach in a lasagna and a variety of other recipes. I use it even in soups. The best! There is this wild garlic-hype in Germany and many collect it themselves. It is also possible to purchase it in stores but why not collect it yourself and spend some quality time in nature? So we headed to our secret wild garlic spot not too far away from my parent’s house. It is so calm and beautiful there and the wild garlic leaves are the best when collected close to the water. This way we did not even have to wash them before cutting them up and putting them into bags for the freezer. This is how those leaves look. [If you are not 100% sure if you found the right leaves, don’t collect them. The poisonous lily-of-the-valley leaves (Maiglöckchen) look very similar!]
So after I collected way more than initially planned, I sat close to the water on a tree trunk and observed my son who played in the water. He tried to “catch a fish” with a stick, balanced on some rocks and threw tiny pebbles in the water. “I have it all,” I think.
I know that most people are only comfortable if they have a certain amount of money, love, health or the best job and this one particular promotion they wait for. “If something does not work out the way I want it, there are always ways to improve those circumstances.” [Jean Henry] Sometimes I do feel weird or uncomfortable if things are too good in way. Do you know this feeling? Like this is all too good to be true? I even sometimes think negative thoughts to pull me down even though I should be all content and happy. Maybe it is the fear of disappointment or loss that pops in my head – like I want to hold on to this particular moment forever but I know this is not possible or that this special moment is simply only temporary. Sometimes I look for something that ruins it all, or search for teeny tiny flaws. I am practicing Reiki for quite some time now. I meditate, I even read spiritual books; however, I still have those thoughts occasionally.
I have to be more resistant to weird feeling and appreciate the happiness here and now. And if things don’t go my way, it is not the end of the world. I am usually pretty good at all this, but then there is this one day, that let’s my little house crumble and shakes the walls up pretty hard. I don’t want to be too attached to anything because if it is gone I am sad. Enjoyment leads to happiness, obviously. I watch my son playing and I feel good. And the next moment I might think, “Oh damn, but we have to leave Germany and move somewhere else. We won’t live here forever and all this does not continue. And I will miss my parents and family”! Attachment most certainly does not lead to happiness, I know this but don’t apply it all the time. Attachment usually means for me emotions, clinginess, sadness – or plain fear.
There was a great documentary on TV a couple of days ago about bees and the way they collect pollen. They fly around to find flower heads. They fly and fly and if they don’t find any flowers they just return to their hive to do something else in the meantime. Or they fly to a different area. Simple as that. No disappointment, no agony or buzzing around about some missed opportunities. [No pun intended] They instinctively know that another opportunity will come along their way and they will find another flower head. And they do everything gracefully and with patience – getting the most out of the here and now. [Well, I am not a bee charmer and I don’t know for certain what might go on in their little brains but this is how it seems to me.]
I work on appreciating the moment and not ruin it by over-thinking and analyzing everything. I notice the positive and don’t search for the negative – sometimes better, sometimes worse. When certain thoughts pop up I tell myself to just let it float by, acknowledging it but letting it go. Again, this does not happen all the time and I am working on it. Nobody is perfect. I then bring my attention back to the here and now and tell myself that other great things are ahead of me, new challenges, new adventures. I just stay open-hearted and work on being non-attached. I find it helpful to focus on breathing in those situations. It is all a work in progress and quite a rocky path.
When I am looking back over my life I notice how things usually just float through, arrive and then leave. They then make way for new exciting things. Isn’t it amazing how everything just comes and goes and somehow makes room for new paths? I guess it is easier to rely on the flow of life than on one particular thing because this flow just never stops. Maybe it never will. Who knows. Sometimes it works, sometimes it does not. Good days come and go, luck comes and goes but I have to listen more closely to the lessons and finally wake up.
