Ultimately, do I think movie characters shaped me as a human? No, not entirely. That honour belongs to my parents, siblings, teachers, boyfriends, and tons of reading. But I do think that what we see on-screen shows as possibilities. Movies give us the lesson of…
I do not, under any circumstances want to do Zumba with you. Workout classes, I am sorry to say, are the opiate of the already fit, or the already thin, if we are being quite honest with ourselves. I know. I know I am allowed…
People of every age are interested in bettering themselves. I guess with this in mind the majority chooses which profession to pick. Most professions require specific training and skills such as three years of military or police experience. Some, however, those a bit off the beaten track, must be entered in a different fashion. Since these fields are often the most difficult to gain a foothold in, one is advised to make certain that one is really suited to this type of work. It is with this in mind that I offer the following series of tests.
So, you want to be a Pope?
This position has traditionally been reserved for men. Women interested in this job should be warned of the almost insurmountable odds against them. Religion also plays an important role here, so if you have your doubts you would be well advised to consider something a touch less restrictive.
Test 1
2. My favourite name is….
3. Most of my friends are ….
4. All roads lead to ….
5. Complete this phrase or word. Dog….
6. My friends call me….
7. For dress-up occasions I prefer….
8. I would feel secure knowing that I had….
9. When annoyed at myself for taking it too easy I ….
Test 2
You want to be an absolute Political Dictator
This job requires stamina, drive, and an iron will. Not recommended for the shy type.
2. On a lazy Sunday afternoon I most enjoy…
3. I think people look best in….
4. When confronted by a large crowd of strangers my immediate reaction is to ….
5. The proper manner in which to respond to a chance meeting with me is by…
6. When someone disagrees with me my first instinct is….
7. Nothing builds character like…
Test 3
Or, you simply want to get promoted
This is undoubtedly not the easiest to crack. It also may have negative side effects upon others who want the same position so good luck.
2. Were a female friend to say something particularly amusing to the boss I would most likely….
3. When the phone rings in your office I am most likely to answer by saying…
4. If my house or apartment was on fire the first thing I would save would be …
5. I consider dining out to be…..
6. My idea of a good party is….
7. If I were stranded alone on a desert island and could have only one book I would want …
8. Some of my best friends are…..
In light of the recent school changes with the Omicron mutation I have compiled a list of questions from concerned parents. Please submit your questions below. Maybe our school board (bored?) team will read and answer them. “If I’m fully vaccinated and boosted, will my…
Have you ever had an afternoon free, or even an hour you could be resting or doing something you enjoy, only to wither it away thinking about past disappointments, worry about the future, or replaying embarrassing moments or awkward conversations over and over? Many of…
Times are tough right now and sometimes we need some small reminders of ways to support our mental and physical wellbeing. In today’s article, I am covering some very small healthy habits for the body and mind.
Sometimes unexpected things happen in life and it can really throw us off balance or into a spiral of anxiety and uncertainty. You’re not alone if you’ve been feeling all kinds of emotions these past few weeks. Confused, curious, frustrated, or afraid.
In light of the uncertainty that’s gobbling us all up, I wanted to share some small, simple habits — things all of us can do — for our body and mind. To help us calm down, feel good, and put things into perspective.
Focus on the present moment
It’s easy for us to spend our time focusing on the past or future, but sometimes all we need to do is pause and look at what’s around us, the things that are in the here and now. This present moment awareness helps to dismantle the fears we have about the past or future. Try it right now, wherever you are: what objects or sights are around you?
Spend time in nature
Get outside if you can. If you can’t, even just opening some windows and having that outdoor world near you is powerful. All the elements of nature — birds chirping (my favourite, especially first thing in the morning!), the noise of leaves rustling, the breeze, the sound of water — are incredibly calming.
Nature is a powerful teacher that things are shifting and ever evolving and, and is a true testament to resilience. Storms come, trees may fall, but new sprouts always start up again. Much like the springtime after a lifeless winter.
Read encouraging words
I love reassuring quotes or phrases, or positive affirmations. Whether it’s scripture for you or an inspirational book, these things can really lift us up and shift our mindset. Here are a few of my favourite quotes:
Gratitude
I’ve talked about gratitude many times, but it’s worth mentioning again here. Gratitude shifts our perspective from a place of scarcity to a place of abundance. From what we don’t have, to all the things we do have.
Take a moment to write down 3 specific things you’re grateful for and why. If you’re not in the habit of doing this regularly, create a master list and read it when you’re in need of a mood lift.
Slow your breath
Slowing the breath is one of the simplest, most effective ways to calm our nervous systems. It activates our parasympathetic nervous system (‘rest and digest’ mode), which slows our heart rate and calms us down. You can do this anywhere, anytime. Simply take a few slow, deep inhales and exhales. You’ll feel a difference!
Relax muscle tension
One of my favourite habits is to consciously relax my muscles. Wherever you are, at any time, become aware of your muscles and consciously let them relax. We’re often hunching our shoulders or clenching our jaw without realizing it, but all it takes is simple awareness and an adjustment of those muscles to really help us feel a greater sense of relaxation and ease in our body.
Start your day with nourishment
One of the best healthy habits out there is to nourish our bodies. It feels good when we do, and it’s an act of self-care which is much needed during times of stress. Plus, it sets us up for better choices throughout the day. If you’re new to eating healthier regularly, even just choosing one meal of the day to make more nourishing is a great place to start and can make a big difference in how you feel.
Some of my favourite breakfasts include avocado toast, an omelette, a smoothie with added greens, or oatmeal.
Make tea
I am a huge tea lover. Not only for the ritual associated with it which can be relaxing in and of itself but there are many different herbs for different purposes.
I love peppermint, ginger, and fennel for digestion, green tea or matcha for energy, (and a boost of antioxidants), chamomile for stress, and astragalus, reishi, and Chaga mushroom elixirs for immune support.
Have an outlet
Having a creative outlet where you can express yourself feels good. Whether it’s writing, journaling, music, dance, poetry, baking, art, or doing something with your hands. These things require focus, present moment awareness, and are a great way to get out of your mind and into your body.
Do nothing
We always have things to do, and sometimes we forget that it’s okay to stop and doing nothing. The kind of nothing where you’re lying on your bed and you don’t have the TV or a podcast on, your phone near you, or music playing. You’re spending time with your thoughts — if only a few minutes — and letting yourself be bored. Believe it or not, boredom is good for our brain sometimes, instead of always getting caught up in the need for stimulation. Sometimes boredom is where great ideas are born!
Give
Giving a little bit of ourselves to others is good for the soul. I’m talking about the small things here: kind words, a compliment, a gesture, even just a smile in passing. Making other people’s day can make our day. I know I always feel good when I do or when I experience these things from others.
I hope these small healthy habits are helpful for you. Give one or two of them a try, I’m confident they’ll make a big difference in your well-being.
“We need to get back to normal,” they say, while I continue to live my life normally, having barely changed my behaviour and lifestyle—or faced any of the horrifying consequences millions of other people have—during the entirety of this still-ongoing pandemic. “You cannot buy clothes…
Microbiome whaaaaat? What is she talking about now? Well, let me enlighten you. Science is now showing how powerful our microbiome is, and how it influences many different areas of our body. In today’s post, I am covering what the microbiome is, why it’s so…
Hi, it’s me, the mom of an eight-year-old child who is currently picking off small pieces of coloured tape I put on the floor because some Montessori Mom’s Instagram account said this would distract him long enough for me to take a break and read. Well, it didn’t. What else am I supposed to do? Oh yeah, go to work.
I still have my job, (lucky these days!) and worked different hours through different lockdowns with the schools sometimes open, sometimes closed. I developed plans to hot-air-balloon myself to Germany without getting shot down, and binge-watched YouTube tutorials on how to sew a mask that is no longer allowed to wear. I planned parties and disinvited people again because of another lockdown. Then regulations were about to get a little less discriminatory only to end up right back to Omicron’s venom-style takeover and a collective system-wide shrug of “Well, I guess we are all gonna get this thing anyway” attitude while keeping the mandatory vaccination law in mind just to get angry again.
So, here’s where I am at: I am building a boat, stocking it with teachers and principles, putting my child on it, and floating it out to shark-infested waters. Once it sets sail, I am taking a 50-hour nap, reading and writing for hours while drinking nerve-calming herbal tea all day.
Honestly, I should have thought of this style of “distance learning” years ago. What mom wouldn’t ship their child to be normally educated without lockdown and these dumb COVID measurements (mask while playing with friends at the gym, 15 minutes mask break outdoors and all this bullshit) from sunrise to sunset? It is better than waiting for schools to shut down for widely unpredictable timeframes that force me to discuss with my boss if I can take Monday off again (how this will look… there might be a pattern) like an FBI hostage negotiator. All these problems could be easily solved with my “distance learning solution”.
So, back to my boat. There will be reliable around-the-clock childcare that isn’t some au pair who keeps eating your expensive chocolate and drinks all your booze! Now, you may think, a standard boat that serves as a classroom isn’t protection again COVID, and that’s where the sharks come in. Sharks! A school on a boat surrounded by sharks means nobody goes in or out. No more random indoor playdates with asymptotic siblings that set off frantic contact K1 tracing phone insanity. No more teachers showing up on Monday after someone sneezed on them at the grocery store on Friday afternoon and this person may have had COVID but had a negative test and no symptoms. Schools closed again, all classes dismissed. No! This won’t happen. Have you ever heard of a shark getting COVID? NO! Sharks will eat COVID for freaking breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Yes, that also means any visiting parents risk being eaten alive by sharks, but when you start missing your kid really badly and get the urge to take a swim, just remember the time he walked in on you in the bathroom and was so upset you wouldn’t come to play that he knocked your phone into the toilet and YOU fished it out realizing he didn’t flush after peeing. Hey, let’s be honest here: You can hug him when he is seventeen, and finished with puberty because that is how long this monkey-bred, bat-spit-festering, lab-grown virus “plandemic” will be most likely around.
Plus, he will be floating somewhere in nature without Wi-Fi. Real wildlife! I mean, some sharks, but mostly nature. No more screens! No more begging to re-watch Sing, Shrek 1-4, or all the episodes of Hotel Transylvania. No more shoving an iPad into his Nutella paws and being relieved but also alarmed at his tech fluency. Instead, he will be surrounded by a permanent network of teachers he can touch, hug, and tag. He will never again have to wonder why he cannot have playdates with his friends. He won’t have to throw tantrums because he is also sick of watching your exhausted face alternate between crying, laughing, yelling, and then crying again. He won’t have the small normalcy of his little life disrupted over and over again in an unceasing unpredictable spiral.
Okay, you would never send your kid on this boat, I get it. The idea is still kinda cool for some “tough” days though. So, take a deep breath and after you have taken your child to bed, swallowed your fifth glass of wine, and read this essay while worrying about whether boat distance learning would hurt him, whether your marriage is failing, whether your seven-day headache is cancer, whether you are drinking enough water, whether you are enough for all the people that need you to be something – know that everyone, everywhere, on this entire burnt-out planet, feels exactly the same way. And despite the massive raging shitstorm we are facing, we are still in this thing, but if you can watch my kid so I can listen to this mandatory vaccination talk on Austrian TV without losing my mind, I swear to god, I will build this motherfucking boat for all of us.
I’m passionate about gut health. From a personal perspective, I’ve experienced first-hand the debilitating symptoms associated with a severe case of gastroenteritis and gallstones. And as a result, you bet I’ve done a whole lot of work on healing my gut because this was no…