.SOMETIMES RAW.

People think being the best you is this long, epic journey of self-discovery, hard work and healthy living. But really, it is as easy as forming key habits and really sticking to them. Here are a few tips on how to be the best you while exerting little to no effort. Just follow them with a grain of sarcasm, obviously.

A healthy start.

I know you love to wake up at 8 a.m., but exercise is more important than you realize. A quick workout in the morning will make all the difference. 4.20 a.m. won’t feel as early as you think. Knock that back ten minutes (what’s ten minutes?) to meditate and you will be shocked at the sense of calm that pervades your day. Also, it couldn’t hurt to do a little journaling. People so underestimate the value of taking 15 minutes to write down their intentions for the day. If you really want to set yourself up for success, give yourself another 30 to make a quick smoothie (I know the easiest recipe) and toss some stuff into a crockpot for dinner later. I swear it’s so simple you could do it with your eyes closed. So maybe make it 3 a.m. It will feel like nothing.

A productive day.

Keeping your energy up at work is really as easy as standing up to stretch for a couple of minutes once or twice per hour. It’s second nature to me now, you should try it! You’ll feel your blood flowing more easily right away. It’s also good to bring little baggies of nuts and chopped-up veggies to snack on. This only takes five minutes of prep in the morning – forgot to mention that one! But trust, with emails pouring in all day, the last thing you’ll want to feel is sluggish. By the way – the key to keeping your inbox in order is to literally just deal with every email as it comes. Don’t let them pile up! I know you get hundreds a day, but each one realistically only takes a minute or two. That’s only around 400 minutes of emailing if you think about it.

Your lunch break is a great time to tackle personal to-dos, like writing thank-you notes for anything nice anyone does for you. Or prepare handwritten, crafted birthday invitations for your child’s party. They are such a quick, thoughtful way to prove you’re a nice person with your shit together, you know? It’s also a great time to go for a walk. Stretch those legs, you deserve it! While you’re at it, maybe give your mom or distant relative a buzz. Keeping in touch with those you care about is probably more important than anything. Nurture those relationships. It’s as easy as picking up the phone whenever you have a free two minutes.

A rejuvenating evening.

On your way home, pop by the grocery store for more smoothie, snack and crockpot ingredients. You should keep your fridge stocked at all times. When you finally get home, give yourself time to unwind. How good does that crockpot smell? Scarf this down (but really chew and taste the food — slowing down while eating is key to feeling satisfied) because you’re going to want to throw in your laundry before it gets too late. Those gym clothes don’t wash themselves, am I right? It only takes a few minutes spread out across two hours. While that’s running, give your bathroom a quick wipe down. Clean your bathroom every day and you never have to clean your bathroom, right? It only takes 10 minutes and you’ll thank yourself later. So easy.

Nighttime is for you. Practice a hobby or learn a new skill! Life is not all about work. All it takes is a little dedication – 30 minutes a day – and you’ll be doing your future self an unbelievable service. Fulfilment is about discipline and scheduling if you think about it. Then hop in the shower and treat yourself to a hair mask. Do this once a day and your hair will never be the same, not kidding. While that sits (it should take an hour, but you don’t have to do a thing, it does all the work for you!), plan your outfit for tomorrow. It’s so much easier to make these kinds of decisions at night. It will really only take you ten minutes, I swear, and your morning tomorrow will be a real breeze.

After you’ve grocery shopped, quickly cleaned, popped in some laundry, jumped in the shower, thrown on a face and hair mask, taken a minute to plan your outfit, practised your hobby for a bit, done some easy meal planning for tomorrow, meditated again, journaled about gratitude and full-body dry brushing, make sure to power down your phone and computer. No screens before bed! This is a no-brainer. Make sure you’ve done absolutely everything before you do so. All this should allow you to hit the hay around 1 a.m., which gives you a solid three hours of sleep until you have to wake up. You’re going to feel amazing! I promise.

This goes out to all my friends with kids or to prepare the ones who are expecting. This is all valuable information I wish I would have known earlier (and would have still gotten pregnant because I would have told everyone that I will do things differently).

Shoes you placed neatly on the shoe rack in the front hall mysteriously appear in the bathtub, stuffed in the soil of a potted plant, or in the drawer underneath the oven.

Answer: Child

Shoes you placed neatly in the shoe rack are mysteriously full of wet sand.

Answer: Most likely child, but could go either way.

Shoes you placed neatly mysteriously turn to piles of wet sand the instant you touch them. But then, seconds later, they appear as they were, and you aren’t sure if it happened at all.

Answer: The ghost.

You hear lout moans coming from somewhere in your house late into the night.

Answer: Could be either.

You hear loud moans coming from somewhere in your house late into the night, the haunting lull of ocean waves, and the faint hum of a sea shanty.

Answer: Still could be either. Who knows what song they teach them in school.

You hear loud moans coming from somewhere in your house late into the night, the haunting lull of ocean waves, the faint hum of sea shanty, and the voice of a woman calling, “Cornelius, will you ever return from the sea?”

Answer: At this point, probably some sea ghost.

You turn away for one second, and when you turn back around, the figure of a person about to throw themselves off the balcony appears out of the corner of your eye.

Answer: Honestly, could be either.

You turn away for one second, and when you turn back around, the figure of a person wearing a long, lace gown and a mourning veil about to throw themselves off the balcony appears out of the corner of your eye.

Answer: Well, that’s the ghost for sure.

You turn away for one second, and when you turn back around, the figure of a person wearing absolutely nothing about to throw themselves off the balcony appear out o the corner of your eyes. How did they manage to get their pants and diaper off? And are they holding your cell phone?

Answer: Child

Suddenly without warning, your pets look around in fear as if they sense a presence coming near them.

Answer: Child

Suddenly without warning, your pets look around in fear as if they sense a presence coming near them, and a disembodied voice whispers, “I vowed never to love again after the cruel sea took Cornelius. Cats became my only companion.”

Answer: Definitely the ghost.

Fruit in your house keeps going bad for no reason.

Answer: Definitely the child if you have a picky eater like I do.

Fruit in your house keeps going bad because you have found 22 blueberries stuffed inside the compartment of a toy garbage truck, a clementine tucked into a doll bed, and half a banana you forgot at the bottom of the diaper bag for the last two weeks.

Answer: Child

You feel sudden ice chill down your body while sitting on the couch.

Answer: Ghost. Or, actually both.

You feel a warm stream go down your body while sitting on the couch.

Answer: Unfortunately, that’s a child with no diaper on.

You enter your kitchen and find all the cabinets thrown open, the drawers pulled out, one of the stove burners on, and the strong smell of saltwater and cod lingering in the air.

Answer: Ghost – no, wait, still the child. He found the cat food container, and how on earth did he manage to open it?

Your lights are always flickering on and off.

Answer: Child who found out about the light switch.

Your lights are always flickering on and off. Projected on your living room wall, you see the silhouette of a schooner slowly sinking into the icy depths of the Norths Atlantic.

Answer: Ghost, and it insists on haunting this house, can it at least make itself useful and clean up all of that sea salt?

You are welcome. If you have any questions regarding how to raise a child, don’t ask me. Then again, most of my friends joked around and gave my son three months with me as a mom. And he will be eight years old next month! Ha! I guess I am doing something right 🙂

Ladies and Gentlemen,

can I please have your attention for this public service announcement: I did it again. My fourth book has been published.

What the book is about: 

Like my previous books, I have written essays on my life in general, about simplifying, about being a single-mom and how tough it can be at times, how not to kill your kids, and about how to create a life I am passionate about. You will find inspiration, (mental) health tips, and how to be a better version of yourself. This time, more focus is placed on surviving the Corona-pandemic in a fun way because let’s just be honest here: Enough with it already.

What I hope to achieve with my book is that you get comfortable, enjoy a glass of wine, send your kid(s) to bed, and read my book in silence and peace. I hope it will transfer you into a relaxed, thought-provoking, or inspirational mode, make you reflect, and most importantly think. Always think outside the box.

I really want to thank my family, friends, blog readers, and the support I have gotten to make this happen. I will have book signings coming up in Vienna at independent bookstores. Announcements and dates will be shared on this website.

Order your copy here, here, or in any bookstore.  

Thank you for reading my stuff. <3