“Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them.” —James Baldwin
I wrote this post because I forgot my grandfather’s 90th birthday on the 24th. I mean, how is this even possible? I put the date on all my calendars, put reminders on my phone and laptop but for whatever inexcusable reason I simple did not think of actually calling him. Well, I apologized and called the next day but still. I hate when things like this happen because my family is so important to me. I want to dedicate this post to my grandfather and want to tell him how much I love him.
Have you seen the movie “La Tete en friche” (“My Afternoon with Margueritte”)? The story is about an illiterate man (Gerard Depardieu) who becomes friend with the well-read Margueritte. Beautiful acting and a great story. If you look at the picture above what do you see or think? When was the last time you listened to an elderly person? I am very fortunate to still have two grandmas and two grandpas and they are able to see their great-great grandchildren. Wow! Amazing no? I usually talk to both at least once a week just to check in. Unless I forget my grandfather’s birthday. (Hoooly….!)
It is really irrelevant at what point one considers himself elderly. Age is just a number. My question here is though, when was the last time you have really spoken to someone elderly in your family or otherwise? I think it is just important to do so. Keep in mind that there comes a time when you won’t be able to see grandma or grandpa anymore standing next to their graveside and then you wish you would have stopped by more often with a piece of cake and some coffee. There are many reasons to not stop by, I know. They bother and they are boring etc., however, I don’t want to be living in regret and I make time to visit my grandparents even though I did not feel like it sometimes. I know they love my company and especially whenever I bring my son. It simply brightens their day. Go there today, or call them. Time flies! It might be too late tomorrow.
What is one thing you learn more than anything when it comes to elderly people? Yes, patience. They are obviously slower than you – well not all of them but you get the point. They simply do everything slower because they are old. Their body is old. We live in this fast-paced world where everything seems to fly by so why not taking it a couple of steps back (literally) and stop and smell the roses with them. Elderly are usually never in a rush, and you should not be either. Whenever I am at my grandparents place I take my time and talk to them. And believe me, they have so many great stories it is amazing. When I have nothing to really ask I just let them tell me the story of their childhood and they go on and on – sometimes even tearing up.
I think in some way it makes them live longer. They feel that they belong because someone is still interested in what they have to say. To tell them funny stories so they can really laugh out loud with tears in their eyes makes me happy to. My parents’ neighbor came over one afternoon and sat in the kitchen with my mom. My son did something cute and funny, I forgot what it was. What I did not forget was how the elderly woman laughed and laughed until tears ran down her cheeks. She left my mom’s house and said she felt so good and that she didn’t have a good laugh like this in a long time. 😀
It is just important that the elderly can memorize and remember things; so just listen and keep them in your life by making room for them. And if you stop by for a little chat you can even help them with technology. Have you ever wondered how hard it is for some of them to even turn on a TV to the right channel? My brother usually helps my grandparents to set the TV so that they can record their shows and they love it whenever he stops by. The simple things matter.
Maybe you find some wisdom for yourself. Just appreciate that they are still around to talk to. It is important to think outside the box for a minute or two. To just not be selfish and if they call for help to go and help them or encourage them. Of course you can drop of a good book you have read. Most importantly do it for their good and not for yours.
Maybe my son will bring me a piece of cake and something good to read at some point.
