Hey, you! Don’t say straight! Children are too young to learn about gender identity and gender roles. Why should kids be indoctrinated to believe that women should marry men and be their wives? This nuclear family model didn’t even exist for most of homo sapiens’ existence. It is just a gross, freakish phenomenon, like pairing cheese with fig jam.
Don’t say straight! It is time for us to resist the radical heterosexual gender ideology and the corrosive efforts to brainwash our kids into believing that the nuclear family is normal. The whole “wife-husband” thing is unnatural, which is why perfectly reasonable and nonviolent people fantasize about their spouses dying several times a day. That’s something for you to think about the next time your mom stares out the window with a pensive expression. It also explains why married straight people with enough money decide to live in their own house, like weirdos or freaks.
Don’t say straight! Humans evolved to live communally, and then some fetishist religious nuts imposed this bizarre isolationist family structure on everyone. Now, look at us. Parents don’t have enough support to raise their children. They have to manically scramble to find daycare, summer camps, nannies, and after-school programs, which are just overpriced babysitters with capoeira drums.
Don’t say straight! Heterosexual relationships are largely unhealthy, and imbalanced and many of them end in painful breakups and divorce. It is like we are setting our kids up for failure when we tell them about the existence of straight relationships. Michael and Christine, Woody and Annie – it always ends in tears, lawsuits, and threats.
Don’t say straight! When kids are small and impressionable, they believe the world is full of possibilities. One kid might want to grow up and live in a house with their two best friends and make handicrafts for a living, for example. Another might want to create a universe structured around their favourite manga comic. It would be a shame to expose children to heterosexual relationships so early and ruin their chances for happiness and fulfilment.
Look where all this heterosexual madness has gotten us! Society is breaking down. The heterosexual agenda is responsible for what happened for example in the U.S. when 62 million Americans voted for a man accused by dozens of women of sexual assault, and who bragged about assaulting women to other men. Kids are way too young to learn about that without becoming traumatized. Let’s protect our children from this terrible knowledge so they can feel safe. What kind of twisted mind would want our children to learn about these degenerates?
Don’t say straight! Kids are too young to learn about gender identity, and about all the horrors associated with heterosexual identity. Who can even keep count of the historical atrocities that come from heterosexual ideology? Forced marriage, child marriage, bride kidnappings, genital mutilation, legalized marital rape — the heterosexual agenda is the worst thing to happen to humanity ever. Not convinced? The Bachelor is in its twenty-sixth season.
When kids are born, parents want to protect them, and the best way to do this is to stop them from learning about heterosexual identity. Will kids sometimes discover that they have classmates who have one mom and one dad who are married to each other? Inevitable, they will. But it should be up to parents to explain why and how this happened. Teachers should be forced to stay silent on these sensitive subjects. They shouldn’t be grooming our children into a destructive heterosexual lifestyle. Responsible parents want to keep children from knowing the truth about heterosexual relationships for as long as possible. We should definitely let them.
Rather teach your kids that if they want to transition, meaning changing their gender, that it is okay. But then, I will transition, too. I will have muscles as big as Dwayne Johnson’s in order to pass as a man, and then I would get cast in a Fast and Furious movie against my will, and then I would get fired from my job for taking three months off to film car stunts. But I will have my own cast changing room.
For now, teach your kids that being in the LGTBQ+ community is “in” and I will do my best to get all the pronouns right. Him/His/Her/Hers/They…. and please don’t lose track of your mind in all this. Teach your kids that it is normal if a man wants to be a woman and vice versa. Teach your kids that you have to call trans people by whatever name they choose to have after their transition. Trans people can use whatever bathroom best suits their gender, and I’ll have to pee in a bucket that I bring with me wherever I go to change my tampon in peace. Teach your kids, that trans people can get surgery and have their penis or vagina removed. Teach them that it is normal for men to wear nail polish, high heels, and dresses. Teach your kids that it is normal to be binary and have no clue if you are a man or a woman or anything else. If your child says, “Mommy, I have a penis,” tell them it could also be a vagina.
Teach your kid that if trans people transition, it is none of your business what they do with their bodies.
Almost as non of your business that I am Dwayne Johnson now getting fired from my job for doing car stunts, as stated above. I want my own “muscle” locker room because I am too hot to share my body with the regular crowd.
And if all explanations fail and your kids look at you with huge eyes, tell them that they can rainbow their way through life. However they choose to.
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