Let’s be honest. Sex is great. Everybody talks about it. Everywhere. I cannot say that I have seen it all, but there were some classic experiences in my life. I won’t share details but rather have some advice instead. All of this advice is meant for older people (strictly 90+). Kidding! This advice works for anybody, straight, gay, transgender, and couples, and should be common sense. Just in case this is not clear and common sense: All sex, in this instance and every instance should be between consenting adults. Are we clear on that? Thank you in advance. Let’s dive in, shall we?
Stop faking it! I know you may be tired/eager/excited/nervous to please or are unsure of how to get there. Allow yourself real pleasure and not worry about how long it takes. If it makes you feel better, talk to your partner. Let him know what you would like to do. Your partner cannot mind-read. Also, women are punished with the gift of being able to fake it.
Stop being too goal-oriented when it comes to sex. You might not make it to the finish line every time. Don’t worry about it. Each part of the journey can be great.
Don’t have sex with people you don’t want to have sex with. Nothing needs to be added.
Don’t get undressed and start pointing out your flaws or apologize for things you think are wrong with your body. Men don’t notice or care. They are about to get laid! They are so happy. Men are very visual, so if you don’t want them to look at your thighs just put heart stickers on your breasts to distract them.
Dirty talk. Act like a bossy lady ordering at a sandwich line at a supermarket. “I want the Proscuitto Crudo on rye and make sure you toast it. Add some arugula!” If your partner is bad at dirty talk tell him to shut up. He might even like that. If you don’t like dirty talk, don’t worry about it. It can be pretty hot if done well but it may not be up your alley. Avoid words like “climax,” “moist,” and “mom.” Don’t speak in a fake French accent.
Don’t let your kids sleep in your bed.
Laugh a lot and try new things with someone you love.
Keep it sexy. Change things up. Surprises.
Don’t watch too much porn. If you depend too heavily on the technical or visual then you may not notice the real flesh-and-blood person in your bed.
Don’t be that person who talks about Tinder successes and that you find “Limette 69” super hot because she has huge breasts. Nobody needs to know this. Keep it to yourself.
Symmetry is pleasing but not as sexy. Steven Hawking is cool but Jackon Pollock knows what I am talking about.