Do you think our relationship works? Right here, right now? Do you think we are good for each other? Right here, right now?
How do you feel in the presence of your partner? Do you feel understood and respected? Do you feel secure? Are you laughing together? Can you be yourself no matter what? Do you feel comfortable and happy? Do you have hope that everything will be better someday? That your partner will change? Coulda, shoulda, woulda never works! It either is, or it is not.
Life is short. I believe we should be happy 98% of the time. I also believe that the deeper sense of a relationship is that both partners are good for and to each other and help in their personal development. A relationship that does not make you happy and rather mostly sad, should end – like right now. It either works or it does not. By taking a closer look at my (married) friends and relationships I have to say that most of the time, it does not work. Keep in mind that if it feels weird in the beginning, it will never work out. I believe a relationship works if you have similarities and the same interests such as humor, intelligence, same values and ideas, life circumstances and goals, personal maturity, sexuality and motives of a functioning relationship. Rule number 1: You cannot change your partner. You get what you see!
I don’t believe that opposites attract; this concept just works pretty well in movies. Both characters have to be compatible, understand each other and create intimacy. A relationship can only work if you find each other interesting when there
I wrote a letter to someone very special who is in an abusive relationship but does not have the strength (yet) to get out on her own. It is so bad that she is not even allowed to leave the house without him.
Common sense taught me some life lessons that I want to share regarding toxic relationships. Just in case you don’t know when a relationship is toxic, I will give you some insight. A relationship is incompatible when there are constantly riddles and explanations. You like each other but both have completely different interests and desires and zero similar interests. You shouldn’t have to explain yourself or clarify things to your partner all the time. Things should be clear and make sense. No huge surprises.
Most importantly, soul connection is missing. You don’t understand him, he does not understand you. Connection on a deeper level takes time, friends. It usually does not happen at a bar after several drinks. After a while, we are facing reality in our new relationship. The first argument occurs because our partner does not see things the way we do.
If my partner would just see things the way I do, things would be perfect.
If both partners fight this fight, nobody will win. The next stage is that one partner loses respect for the other, and finally the joy and excitement of life. The crazy things
“I don’t know if I am in a toxic relationship!”
Before you start a relationship with someone, you may want to clarify: What they think is important to them in a relationship. How they want/do not want this relationship to be (open, etc.). What do they want to share with you? How much alone-time do they need/do you need? Compromises and which ones? Conflicts and which ones? Traumatic relationship and childhood experiences? Do they love themselves? What causes issues/anger issues? What are the strengths/weaknesses? What does love mean to them? Just in case you don’t know: Whenever your partner hits you, it is not a healthy relationship! I am happiest in a relationship whenever I am understood and feel secure and safe. I want to laugh with my partner and have fun. I don’t want to be afraid of saying/wearing/doing something wrong.
Introducing Ronia Fraser
Are you interested in this topic and want to know more? Are you stuck? Are you in a toxic relationship? Do you need help with all this? Contact my friend Ronia Fraser if you are ready to recover the true you. She won’t help you get out of a toxic relationship but she will guide you to get a different perspective.
Ronia Fraser is an internationally certified and award-nominated Transformational & Recovery Coach, NLP Master Practitioner & Trainer, Clinical Hypnotherapist and Havening Techniques® Practitioner, specialized in Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Coaching (NARC) – based in London, UK, and Los Angeles, USA. More importantly, Ronia Fraser is a survivor of Narcissistic Abuse and draws not only from her professional expertise but from her first-hand personal experience. She offers personalized treatment, tailored to your individual circumstance and requirements, designed to help you stabilize your emotional wellbeing, remove triggers and identify and resolve long-standing unhealthy patterns and conditioning.
Ronia: “A toxic relationship goes much deeper than being incompatible and being on the same page. So does my work. I’m not helping people through their break up just because it didn’t work out and they guy turned out to be useless. It’s a whole different level. Actual toxic relationships consist of intentional manipulation, identity erosion, emotional blackmail, and calculated emotional and psychological abuse. Domestic violence. Financial abuse. Isolation. Gaslighting. Control and fear. Toxic relationships are based on codependency and addiction and lead to mental health issues. I’m not helping people through their break up just because it didn’t work out. I help them survive and put their lives back together”.
How to connect with Ronia Fraser:
Ronia recently published
Stay Happy. Stay Healthy.