“Those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”
I was wondering today why I sometimes still allow other people’s expectation, opinions and judgments to affect my life in any way. I guess I am just programmed like that – always have been. Like when our parents tell us that we do something wrong; when they start disciplining us – telling us that our behavior is something that others will disapprove of. For example I have learned from a young age on that when I make my parents look bad, I am bad. I believe that this early instruction is reinforced by parental influence over and over – throughout all the kindergarten years, years of school and decades of societal interactions. So why do we have to fit in? According to society, fitting in becomes a major driver of making sure that we adhere to other people’s standards and sadly their expectations of our behavior.
So you try to fit in and make everybody happy but yourself? This pressure is insane and insidious. Simply, it will stop you from living the life you want to to life, it stops you from being you and it most certainly will steal your happiness. I do not think I am exaggerating because I know many people who just followed some sort of career path that the parents chose for them and they are unhappy ever single day. Many of my friends went down the road of having children, debt, marriage or even still dream of living a happier life and they did not want this path for themselves and are unhappy. Or how many buy the latest fashion to try to fit in? Make-up? Creams? Whatever society tells you is fine and good for you you buy just to try to fit in and not disappoint society’s judgmental little game.
How about you try to be YOURSELF? Do you know yourself? I am working on this myself but I am getting better. Who am I?
Just to not go with the flow is already helpful. Anybody knows this crazy App where you can “make yourself look perfect”? (I think it is even called like this). All I need to do is upload a picture of myself and take away all the “mistakes” and flaws to make myself look like I could be on the next Vogue Cover. (Exactly what they do to all these models on the VOGUE covers and other magazines btw. – These women do not look like that in real life) 😀 Just a little reminder.
I do not have control of what other people think of me. I have to have the best perception of myself and all the answers I am searching for are within me. I think it is important to just love myself and create my own rules. Nobody else can do this job. I create the rules I live by. And comparing myself to others never helps. I am unique.
It took me a long time to get over my own people pleasing behavior. It is a prison of sort. I just have to be brave to love myself no matter what. There is nobody else like me on this planet and I am the architect of my own reality. How can I fail if I am born to shine? 😀
