Tantrums or How I try to Keep my Marbles.

Hello and Happy Thursday. 

I wanted to write this post yesterday but I do try to stick to my post-schedule. Well, let me tell you, this week has been insane. My little guy made me crazy this week. He changed. A lot! In like four days or so and I don’t know exactly what happened but he just threw these tantrums for the first time. It felt somewhat like this. Everybody warned me of the “crazy-two’s” but for some reason nothing happened so far. He will turn 2 1/2 years next month so we are halfway in already with no complaints. Ask me most days and I will tell you that I would love to have TWO kids. Seriously, the thought sounds tempting. Another little baby, oh, so cute, breastfeeding I would not mind – it is no big deal. It seems like I am talking about getting a new book, car, tattoo or passport picture. 

Thinking about the last days I must be nuts to even think for one second to become pregnant again and that I have way more on my plate with this little guy I already got.

So this is how it all started. My son sleeps in pretty late which I love. Especially since I stay up at night to get my writing, reading and researching done. Anyway, I usually do get up early in the morning as well because I love to have time alone and time for myself.  I was content and in a good mood and looked forward to see my son when he wakes up. Well, that morning was different. He woke up and was mean, almost evil. Can a 2 1/2 year-old child be mean? YES! He most certainly was. I do understand that not every day is happy-sunshine. I have days too when everything seems off. But, holy shit! He started screaming for no reason. Seriously, he did not even get out of bed yet. He screamed, cried, threw his teddy bear out of his bed and I thought I am in the wrong picture here. Usually he is pretty excited to see me in the morning. He is happy, talks, smiles and wants to get dressed to start the day and to have his breakfast. 

Within minutes I lost my calm asking myself what could be possibly wrong with him. He did not want to get changed, did not want to come downstairs with me – not tricks I use worked; nothing worked. At night when I took him to bed, there were actually tears that sprang from my eyes – I almost cried like a little girl and felt like Bukowski in Post Office:

“I put on some bacon and eggs and celebrated with an extra quart of beer.” [in the case I would replace beer for some wine. Bukowski is still awesome!]

How much I despise days like these. When everything seems nice in the beginning and then it turns into a complete mess. I did not ask for this. How can I stay calm? The story of course continued the next day. I did manage to take him downstairs and prepare his breakfast. He pushed it away. “No! Nein!” All I see are the slices of banana and strawberry-jam bread on a plate that slide over the table down to the floor. Almost silently until this nice compilation of artwork hit the floor. Should I scream at him? Should I even hit him? I never hit him. I think hitting is just wrong. But this is material for another post. I never hit him but this morning I was very close let’s say. He cried, screamed, and I did nothing right in his eyes. Actually, at this point, I had to step out of the kitchen. [I do this usually when things get heated and I don’t know what I would do next] and sat in the living room crying for a bit. I mean, at this point we were both in bad moods obviously and I just wanted to cool down. 

I thought he cooled off and came back to the kitchen and tried to dress him to go out for a bit to get some fresh air. The plan was also to pick up some chocolate cake that my grandma bought. He was fine with it and actually put his shoes on by himself. Wow, I thought. Cool! We were outside for maybe ten minutes when it started again out of nowhere. His watch [he has a wrist watch because he is obsessed with watches lately and my mom bought him a cheap one that ticks and he can turn on a light] was a little loose on his wrist. Yep, of course, why not scream the entire neighborhood down, right? I mean, he had a valid reason. Actually, he had another watch in his pocket [my grandma gave it to him!] and he started to put this one on his wrist now. It did not work because the damn watch is too big so he screamed, cried, threw himself on the ground. Okay, great. Yay. All I wanted at this point was to get that damn cake. No matter what. Child screaming or not. Stupid wristwatches I thought the entire time – also cursing silently! 

Eventually, we made it to my grandma’s house and I got the damn cake. Now we needed to get home. He screamed and cried. The entire way back however I lamented that it is illegal to leave a toddler somewhere alone on the streets in the morning  to run away or maybe just to go to the next store to get a bottle of vodka or wine. When we finally made it home, he calmed down a bit for whatever reason. My approach is to ignore these tantrums from now on as much as somehow possible and give him some love as soon as he has calmed down. Most days are not bad. He is a happy camper usually and is so sweet. There are even days when I just want to scream out loud that I.LOVE.HIM.SO.MUCH! just over and over again. I just cannot even imagine my life without him and I love him so much. 

I am signing off now because he just woke up and is crying. 

Do you have kids? How do you deal with Tantrums?  As a mother, I would love LOVE to hear some insight, tips and tricks how to make all this madness easier.