Hello! How do you feel these days?
These past couple of days have been a whirlwind of emotions for me. I am indeed an emotional disaster as my husband would say. But most importantly I am okay. I have been better, more in shape let’s say, but I am good. For now I am figuring out a bunch of things and it is not that easy for me. I learn what is really important in life and that I need to pay more attention to exactly those things and nothing else. Isn’t it amazing that whenever you think you have one area in your life covered, figured or planned out something else is up in the air? Life is never smooth sailing – at least not for too long. Something always comes up – something new and challenging gets thrown at us to deal with it as good as we can and manage.
This morning I got up early. Early for my standards. I am a night owl and have my free/kid-free time in the evening to relax and be creative. It is me-time at its finest. Another huge plus is that my son sleeps well and long almost every day. Today, I got up early because my husband needed me to translate at a doctor’s office. It was cold outside. We had to be at the office at 8am. You know this feeling when it is freezing cold, the sky is blue and the sun is shining? And you can see our breath and all you think about is curling back up inside? Well, that kind of morning. For some reason I did feel happiness. To be alive, to see the sun and to have my husband sitting next to me at the car and then in the waiting room. I do forget the beauty of it all sometimes and I do forget that this little bit of happiness right there this morning is what matters. Now it is important for me to figure out how these feelings can lasts and guide me through stormy times. When times get rough and when my husband needs me the most.
I usually write about happy, funny stuff – simply because this is so easy and my life is just that. I usually do not share things that make me sad, get me down, make me worry or depressed. Why would I, right? This is a happy little blog full of inspiration and good thoughts. My husband had blood tests done and it came back with abnormal test results. More tests need to be done, more blood needs to be drawn. It makes me sad that he needs to live with this. It makes me sad to think how life changes suddenly. It makes me sad to think that he is worrying. He is so strong – nothing gets him down, you know. To think that every time he travels to go to work he not only exposes himself to various threats but might face unknown bacterias and infections which he cannot do anything against. We always need to adapt to something new.
The doctors are not sure what he has yet, so there is still hope that he can get rid of whatever this is and live a normal life. He does not show typical symptoms of any known disease, just erratic blood results.
All this made me realize again how fragile we are. We see all this as a wake-up call. It is time to turn the boat around and paddle in a different healthier direction together. Not alone! Never alone!
Because this is what I want to do. As a couple! I feel happy, weird, sad and am learning new things about disease and life right now. That’s it – that’s us. Be safe.
Thank you for reading my blog.