.SOMETIMES RAW.

Monday, 7th of September 2020, was the first day of school for my son and it was very emotional to me. My little boy is growing up so quickly. But then again, kids are finally back at school and there is some sort of routine in this “new normal”. Parenting was/is tough throughout the still ongoing pandemic and maybe you are wondering if you are a good mother or father. Maybe you wonder if you did everything you can do to make it as nice and comfortable as possible for your kid(s)? Maybe Corona messed up everything for you and you are slowly getting back into it all. Things were very different in the last couple of months but I held my marbles together with help from my parents, partner, and friends. I guess we all did what we could to survive this and parent through it somehow. Have you ever questioned if you are a good parent? What does it mean to be a good parent? Here is my list:

You are NOT good at parenting if:

• You never contact your child.
• You never spend time with your kid(s).
• You don’t let them have any chocolate.
• You put too much pressure on the child.
• You don’t pay the child support you are supposed to.
• You never take time to yourself, and you resent the kids for it.
• You never spend quality time with your partner anymore.
• You signed him/her up for too many extracurriculars, forcing them into an after-school-Karate-Course named “Saved-By-the-Clock-9 mm Caliber-Coffee habit -then -wax- on -and -wax- off”.
• You signed them up for all extracurriculars because you want them to get into Harvard at some point.
• You sent pictures of your child to your ex and he/she does not respond.
• You didn’t read enough to your child and as a teenager and they start reading Freud, Heidegger, Kant, and Kierkegaard to you.
• You forced your child to read too much and as a teenager, they rebel by smoking weed behind the library and setting the building on fire with the dying embers of their joint or “eh….the doobie, mom”.
• You receive the dependency allowance from work and keep it even though your ex-partner has sole custody and raises the child(ren) alone.
• You let them watch too much television, knowing full well that too much television causes The Bachelor.
• You are not wearing a mask in front of your child on the subway but tell them to wear one.
• You smoke and drink in front of your child and tell them smoking and drinking is bad.

You ARE a good at parenting if:

• You love them and show them. Unconditionally.
• If you introduce them to Freud, Heidegger, Kant, and Kierkegaard at a teenager level.
• You are always here for them.
• You listen and you talk to them. Always.
• You make an effort.
• You never tell your child that the ex-partner does not love him even though they never get in touch.
• That, after divorce, the child is loved by father and mother and that it is not the child’s fault that the parents don’t get along anymore.
• You gave your kid(s) too much freedom to play alone in the park and now they call the squirrel under the shed “Dad”.
• Your child loves the new partner you chose.
• You went out for a BBQ with your friends, brought your child, didn’t come home until 11 pm, and you get your child ready for bed with a big smile on your face.
• You don’t have newborn photos of your child framed all over the house.
• You don’t have a million pictures of your children on Facebook or Instagram or in your wallet.
• You don’t show a million pictures of your child(ren) to your friends.
• You don’t prepare vegan veggie fat balls every day for lunch for your kid(s).

Stay Happy. Stay Healthy. Stay Sane.

Ladies and Gentlemen,

can I please have your attention for this public service announcement: I did it again. My third book has been published. The title: Hold it Through the Curves. 

What my third book is about: 

Like my first and second book, I have written essays on my life in general, about simplifying, about being a mother, about creating what I am passionate about. You will find inspirations, (mental) health tips, and how to be a better version of yourself. This time, more focus is placed on my life after my divorce, my new start in a different country, surviving the Corona-pandemic, and juggling the single-parenting thing while working full-time and studying part-time.

What I hope to achieve with my book is that you get comfortable, enjoy a glass of wine, send your kid(s) to bed, and read my book in silence and peace. I hope it will transfer you into a relaxed, thought-provoking, or inspirational mode, make you reflect, and most importantly think. Publishing a book for a writer is a dream come true. Being an avid reader, publishing my books was on my bucket list for a long time. It is a great feeling to stroll through bookstores and show my son the books I have written nicely placed on the shelf.

I really want to thank my family, friends, blog readers, and the support I have gotten to make this happen. I will have book signings coming up in Vienna at independent bookstores. Announcements and dates will be shared on this website. Honestly, I am still totally overwhelmed in the best way possible and will pour myself a glass of white wine.

Order your copy at your local bookstore or order it here, here or here.

Thank you for reading my stuff. <3

An upcoming fitness test made me think about body image and beauty. Natural beauty is wonderful. It is something I appreciate whenever I see it, no matter if it is a stunning landscape view or in the face of an unusually beautiful person. The reason why I enjoy seeing something pretty, and why it catches my attention, probably has a very logical explanation. Some things are undeniably and almost objectively beautiful, but most things more debatably so. And that is the beauty of beauty, that it is up to personal interpretation.

The majority of us are not undeniably beautiful forces of nature. Most people just look like people do: Great but perhaps not ethereal. As we get to know each other, our physical features often seem to change. For example, the persons I first found quite ordinary becomes a great beauty when I notice their delightful personality. The classic beauty on the other hand starts looking unattractive after she has treated me rudely a few times. Facial features leave a way for our subjective interpretations of the person’s other traits. One way to express my personality and affect the way I myself, as well as others, perceive myself is through my style. Which is by no means anything special. The way I decide to dress says a lot about myself. And it is a way to stop caring as much about what I am born with, and instead, appreciate what I have to offer in personality.

Stay natural: Apfel and Diana Vreeland, two of the most style-striking people imaginable, were never considered particularly pretty by their contemporaries, nor, it seems, by the two women themselves. Nevertheless, they are both great style icons, not just of their generation, but by any standard thinkable. If either of them had been born with an abundance of classic beauty to lean back on, the world might very well have been deprived of their creative and sin pairing senses of style. Not that there aren’t natural beauties out there with an impeccable sense of style. But perhaps the incentive to get inventive is bigger if you are not often showered with compliments.

The pursuit is as persistent as ever. We are all taught through social media and magazines how to best try to fit into the model of perfection. With makeup to cover, not enhance. With clothes to balance, not exaggerate. With rules to follow on body shapes and hair types. All this to even us out, make us normal, hide our quirks. If you have got wide shoulders, you are taught how to make them appear smaller, not how to amplify their width. Isn’t that sad? But, I have never seen Iris Apfel do ordinary or restrained. But, guess what: Immortality was never won by doing “normal”. No matter the degree of classic beauty we possess, we know that age will slowly creep up. Although the character that comes with old age is one of the most attractive features to be found, our society’s obsession with youth, fitness, and perfection often makes us forget that fact. Style, however, is invulnerable to time. If anything, we will have had more time to curate a decent wardrobe by the time we retire, making time an accomplice in building up our chicness, instead of an enemy. Diana Vreeland was hotter than ever when she passed away at the age of eighty-six, and Iris Apfel is still going strong at ninety-eight. There is a lesson to be learned by these gorgeous women. Perhaps not considered the greatest beauties of their time, but who cares, when they are instead considered the greatest stylists of all times.

Just embrace your imperfections. Those insecurities or those features you initially hate about yourself then end up being the ones you fall in love with and appreciate the most. For me, if there is one thing that seems to only grow stronger with age, it is acceptance. The embrace of your quirks and imperfections, because they are the things that make you. Be yourself.