.SOMETIMES RAW.

A couple of days ago, when we were on what felt like our hundredth walk of the day, I asked my son a question….

“What are your top 5 most favourite restaurant meals?”

I find that asking a child a “Top 5” question will usually get the conversation flowing, quarantine or no quarantine, but this time the exercise prompted an hours-long drive down memory lane and around the world. While we walked around, we spoke about the perfect lobster roll we enjoyed at the beach in Connecticut. Or pasta in Spain. Or fries at the public pool in Germany. Or Schnitzel in Austria. It felt therapeutic talking about the restaurants we miss and the time we spent at my parent’s house last year.

Before quarantine started, I would regularly write weekend to-do lists that in retrospect seem to have encapsulated the most ambitious pursuit of the person I wanted (or thought I wanted) to be. I am really trying here. Among the usual asterisks to populate the to-do list were art projects using natural ingredients such as coconut flour to make Play-Doh and turmeric to dye it. The desire to read (to him) a lot. More tidying exercises be it for the bookshelf, a pantry, his room, and of course, there is always this weird desire to cook or bake something. These days, whenever I set out to cook, a deluge of excuses would interrupt the effort: Don’t waste the chicken soup. You just had lunch. For this recipe, we just need too many ingredients so let’s go to the store. This seems too complicated to bake. Can you relate? I am just so f****** tired of cooking. I used to love cooking. I used to, before Corona.

I am not into fashion at all but what I am realizing now is that cooking is not so different from it in that anyone can do it. From the outside, it seems so damn intimidating, like it is impossible to break in, but eventually, you realize the only barrier to entry is yourself. As far as fashion goes I guess you just have to be proud that you like to wear clothes, and then wear them. To get good at cooking, you just have to try. Then you keep trying and definitely will fuck up, over and over, until you learn the language and boom: a new skill is born.

I didn’t always enjoy cooking but I love healthy food and trying new things. It is way less soul-crushing than I thought it would be. Worst case scenario: Just toss it in the garbage. All I am really doing is chopping shit up, then assembling it and turning on fire. Sometimes, without fire. Just as fresh as it gets. Really, that is it. To be clear, I am usually exclusively making very easy recipes. I love recipes with fewer ingredients that don’t require ten special spices that are not in my pantry. I need something simple, fast, and nutritious. My son and I are dairy-free, eat less meat (and if, just local, organic meat), enjoy more plant-based meals, and local fish once in a while. Which we actually had yesterday. Food always tastes better if someone else cooks it for you. Someone who knows how to enhance the flavor by adding a bit of white wine and a mountain of butter to fry those fishies. Of course, while drinking wine. And talking.

I love vegetables but my son sticks to what he knows. If you have questions regarding food and how to feed your kids veggies, send me an email or leave a comment below and I will help you out. I am a Certified Holistic Nutritionist and have a healthy collection of simple, approachable breakfasts, snacks, lunches, and dinners that they will enjoy and appreciate. Instead of getting frustrated that your child does not get excited about a kale salad, how about you flip the script. What do they like? And how can you add veggies into that? My son loves meals between bread. I would like to share his favorite veggie burger.

Vegan Veggie Burgers

(Makes 6 patties)

8 oz. (250g) mushrooms, cleaned and well chopped
1 onion, chopped
2 cloves garlic
1 egg
1 tablespoon tamari or soy sauce
1 cup cooked (brown) rice
2 tablespoons flax seeds
1/4 cup oats
salt, pepper and whatever herbs you desire
(I love to add 1 tsp. chili powder and fresh parsley)
3 medium-size potatoes (just grate those uncooked)
1 cup cooked black beans, drained well

How to:

I use avocado or coconut oil for cooking. In a medium pan, heat the oil over medium heat. Add the chopped mushrooms, onion and garlic, along with a pinch of salt. Sauté for a moment, then leave it all undisturbed for a few minutes, so the mushrooms release their water. Sauté again, until browned in some parts and excess water has evaporated. Set aside to cool completely and add into a large bowl. Add the egg, tamari, rice, flax seeds, oats, 1/2 tsp. salt, chili powder, and herbs and then (with your hand) you mix, mix, mix your Corona anger out. Mix, mix, mix your anger out. Mix, mix, mix your anger out. Add grated sweet potatoes, black beans, and cooled mushrooms for another minute until everything is in tiny pieces.

Set aside mixture. Add some coconut oil into large pan and preheat. Now start forming the mixture into patties. If they are too sticky, add some flour. Pan-fry and turn patties in pan until golden brown on both sides.

To Assemble:

Use any bun or bread you desire. I like whole-wheat sourdough buns or English muffins. Then I add avocado slices, lettuce, cheese slices or a bit of tomato sauce. Leftovers make an awesome lunch in a lettuce wrap with some avocado and tomatoes.

Booooaaawne app-uh-teet!

Stay Sane. Stay Happy. Stay Healthy.

What and how are you all doing? At this point, honestly, I NEED ALL KINDERGARTENS AND SCHOOLS TO BE OPEN! “Isn’t it nice to have your son with you throughout this Corona-madness? I am alone in my apartment. It feels weird”, my childless friend said the other day. Initial silence and deep breathing on my end. Then we spoke about kids.

I had a feeling before I had a child that I would not become the kind of mom who is passionate about discovering weekend activities for her toddler, who knows who makes the best BPA-free flatware, how to make the best gluten-free, lactose-free-vegan muffins just because other moms think this is great, and I just realized that I have felt guilty as fuck for a while. These muffins taste like eating sawdust anyway. I’m not that mom. But typing this is showing me that I’ve equated being that other kind of mom but loving him deeply. I love my son. In my eyes, he is the best kid on this planet. What I can offer him is different from what helicopter moms offer their children but this is fine with me, too.

So, my son and I had this argument the other day. Quarantine and hanging out 24/7 is getting to everyone eventually; even to a happy 6-year-old who loves to play by himself. He yelled at me that he does not like me anymore because I did not want to continue building his Lego Hidden Side University after doing so for two consecutive hours. I love Lego. It is fun. Actually, I got this Lego-university partially for myself because it is so awesome and I can secretly play with it when he is in bed. We talked about it. We spoke about how he felt and he was better after. He understood that mom needs some quiet time, too once in a while. He apologized and said he did not mean to say what he said and that he will always love me. Be still my heart.

Part of unconditional love necessitates a level of maturity, and that maturity is governed by an understanding that even if he thinks he does not like me, he is stuck. With me! Forever! And what a gift it is to be stuck with me who loves him so unconditionally that even when he cries and screams, I get down on my knees, pull my arms out wide and leave them open until he is ready for an embrace. This thought let my inner-victim slowly but surely melt away. I chose to have a child almost seven years ago, which makes me responsible so I will make the best out of it. I am here and will support him no matter what.

In the last three Corona-weeks, I got a deeper understanding of my son. His sad sides, his sweet sides, his concerned sides. All sides. Even more than before. The more I accommodate exactly what he wants, the less likely he is to learn that necessity to either figure out how to get what he wants all on his own or to make do with what he has got and manipulate it to his advantage. #donotnegotiatwithterrorists

I want him to understand that I will always give him love, curiosity, and confidence. That I will guide him intellectually and emotionally. That I want him to simply be and feel stable. Content. Even in this crazy time and beyond.

I am familiar with change and its way of aligning itself with seminal life moments and I can completely empathize with his range of emotions. I know him so well that I can read him like a book.

For all of us, life ticks on. These days, I have a tendency to gaze at the seemingly greener grass on the other side of the fence. I am trying to fumble my way through this respective situation, while just doing the best I can. There is a natural ebb and flow. Sometimes I am close, sometimes I am not-so-close, and sometimes I may be downright distant. But it will pass. And kids will be in schools again. Time will move on.

And my son will grow older. He will understand things better. We may drift apart – who knows, and then just as easily, drift back together. But, through all of this, we are part of the same sphere, part of a greater whole, and always there for the other, albeit with a little navigation. I know at some point I will find myself standing on the shore, waving and wishing my son a safe passage. And trusting to always find that bridge that will connect us.

Hey You,

It is your birthday, and I don’t know where to start. There are so many things I’d like to say on your special day that I literally could not fit into this article. So let me start by saying the most obvious thing: You are very special to me.

Since the moment you walked into my life, we got along just perfectly. You were like the perfect piece to my puzzle. Not that anything was missing, but you became a part of me and you made me better than I was without you. I know you’re probably laughing right now thinking this is super corny. Sure, me too.

One thing that amazes me is your unconditional form of giving. Anytime I need something, you never hesitate to offer and even more. If I happen to have a bad day, you listen to my problems and you reassure me that it will pass. And when I need your shoulder to cry on, you never hesitate to snap me back into reality and tell me to stay strong. You give me so much strength and you have taught me to make this my lifestyle.

You light up my day. You are thoughtful, compassionate, and your vibes are happiness. You are simply the best and more.

Not only are you the best ear, the best supporter, but you are also my perfect fit for the most important reason: You understand and don’t judge me. Or those times we have just sat somewhere without even talking to each other. It’s the best because we also know our deepest fears, our greatest hopes.

I am so glad you walked into my life. You have made me a stronger woman, a better me. I don’t know how I got so lucky that we crossed paths. I guess it was just destiny that decided the perfect moment. If I had never met you, I wouldn’t be the person I am today.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that I am so thankful for your life. Especially on a day like today. I celebrate your life and wish you so many more years to walk this crazy world and hopefully sprinkle a little bit of happiness into my life. Thank you for being you. You are my person. Happy birthday to you! You’ve changed my life and you inspire me every day.

Love,

Me