.Spend your Life keeping the Garbage Out.

The wonderful Grace Farris

Is it just me or does it feel like advice is given everywhere? We get bombarded with unsolicited, desperate requests from books we read, shows we watch, people we choose to surround ourselves with and the list goes on. One thing is for sure: everyone has some advice to give. But, just because it is there, does not always mean it is good, no? At the end of the day, we like to believe that advice is all about experience and one person sharing their downfalls, big wins or everything in between in hopes of someone else’s situation ending differently. If your heart is in the right place to receive advice it is usually something beneficial and beautiful to be taken away instead of an annoying feeling like shooing away a mosquito. Since everybody does it and this is my blog and creative outlet I would like to share some good advice that I received and is helpful in my life. Maybe there is something for you to take away, too. Also, check out this post.

Someone told me that changing your mind is the cheapest form of therapy.

This someone also told me that: You are too smart to be with certain men.

Here is a random picture for entertainment purposes. Do you like it? Nope? It doesn’t impress me either.

Some guy putting gas in his car.

If you have the feeling that your partner is too arrogant, smokes too much weed, is too full of themselves, and extremely paranoid trust your gut and run away as fast as you can. It doesn’t matter what a person tells you, it’s their actions that prove who they really are. Don’t base your trust and expectations on people’s words. Ever.

I was born empathetic; maybe too empathetic. I always had a shoulder, an ear, a heart for anyone and everyone. I listened and didn’t judge, giving without ever expecting anything in return. This worked for decades, and somehow I was this happy, everlasting altruist. The thing is: when you accept the role to take on negativity, it takes its toll after a while. In moments, when I needed peace, others didn’t put me first because they had been used to me putting myself second. This is when I taught myself to protect my peace. Sounds simple enough, but it’s leading my mission in life now. I have learned the beauty of saying no, of choosing what I let affect me and knowing that it is my responsibility to put me first because I am the only me I will ever have. And, by way of ‘protecting my peace’, I have let go of some friendships, ended relationships, and quit jobs.

You are doing the best you can. Sometimes this little reminder puts things in perspective when I am being too hard on myself of feel like I could be doing more to change a situation. In reality, I am simply doing the best I can in a challenging time. No more, no less.

Keep doing the right things and you will get the results. This one is so important when you try to achieve something challenging and it takes longer than you expected to get to your goal. If I keep doing what works, consistently, eventually I will get the results.

Don’t try to read what people think. Simply ask.

Don’t get married. Totally unnecessary.

No iPad Air mini 2 with wifi and SIM card is ever necessary to communicate with someone you love.

Need to make a tough decision? Trust your gut. If you ever find yourself in a place where you cannot hear it then sit in silence and write a list of pros and cons until the answer becomes so obvious that you cannot ignore it. Take time with yourself and make sure that your mind and body are always connected. This is the most important relationship.

The obvious: Never drink alcohol on an empty stomach; wear sun protection every singe day, and never go to bed without taking your makeup off. And, you cannot expect anyone to love you the way you deserve, the way you want to be loved, if you cannot love yourself first. I know how corny and obvious this sounds, but I am amazed how people try to bypass that very simple, yet essential rule of the universe. Self-love isn’t something you can fake with diets, expensive shopping habits, a relationship or a few face masks a week. Whatever blocks and resistances you refuse to face, whatever beliefs you have come to develop about yourself, will without a doubt manifest themselves into your current relationship, for better or worse. Get to know yourself independently of the people in your life. Accept and forgive whatever invisible grudges on yourself you may have accumulated over the years and understand that you are whole, all on your own.

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