.Things I Hate.

I received an email from a reader who asked me if I could write about things I hate. Well, I don’t really hate anything. Hate is such a strong word. I usually replace hate with the word dislike but for this post, I will stick with it.

Here is my list of things I “hate”: 

    1. I hate high pitched voice and when people use like and you know all the time.
    2. I hate polyester in clothing and how it smells when people wear it.
    3. I hate the skin that forms on the top of pudding. But I love the skin on top of crème brûlée.
    4. I hate the time I found my first grey hair. I named and removed it. It has the same name as my ex.
    5. I hate super high-speed bumps.
    6. I hate that all the food and drinks at the movie theater are so expensive.
    7.  I hate that movie popcorn smells and tastes so good.
    8. I hate when popcorn gets jammed in my gums.
    9. I hate remote controls. Especially the ones with one million buttons. Also, I hate that it sometimes takes three or four remotes to turn the TV on. Then again, I have no TV.
    10. I hate watching a movie with someone who has already seen it and comments all the time.
    11. I hate the change from fall to winter and that it is dark outside at 4 pm.
    12. I hate BMW, Porsche or Mercedes (or any) drivers who think they own the road.
    13. I hate that Smurfette was the only female Smurf.
    14. I hate when I am late even though I left super early.
    15. I hate wasting time.
    16. I hate paying so much for parking (at a museum).
    17. I hate that female bully who beat me up in third grade. I hate all bullies.
    18. I hate when my initial monthly phone bill is $35 and then the tax fee of $17.99 is added.
    19. I hate it when people always have the latest gadgets and brag about them. I wish I would still have my walkman and tapes. Those were epic.
    20. I hate the feeling when I put a finger in my belly button.
    21.  I hate when people don’t tell me when there is something stuck in my teeth and I walk around with it for a while (of course smiling and talking to others who also don’t tell me that there is something stuck in my teeth).
    22. I hate fake smiles.
    23.  I hate big, flat feet.
    24. I hate that not everybody has the opportunity to migrate to the south for the winter. Like birds.
    25.  I hate silent letters in words such as sa(l)mon. I want to pronounce it. Why are these letters in words?
    26.   I hate that I cannot find out what is happening at Area 51.
    27.  I hate that nobody has caught the Loch Ness Monster yet.
    28.  I hate washing my hands at a public restroom, then opening the filthy door.
    29.  I hate when people keep birds as pets.
    30.  I hate (and actually gag) smelling expired milk.
    31.  I hate sunburn.
    32.  I hate when people update every single step they take, the food they make or eat or 1000000 memes they share on Facebook. Who cares!
    33.  I hate kitten calendars.
    34. I hate it when people catch me wearing socks with holes in them.
    35.  I hate broken crayons or pencils.
    36. I hate that stringy stuff in the inside of a banana. And I hate that brown thing at the bottom of the banana.
    37.   I hate the carpet styles in casinos.
    38.  I hate super soft towels.
    39.  I hate super soft mattresses.
    40.   I hate that dust bunnies (in German: mice/Mäuse) gather under beds or in corners.
    41.   I hate that lighting bugs don’t stay lit.
    42.  I hate that superheroes don’t really exist but villains do.
    43.   I hate killing or eating a whole fresh lobster.  Those sad eyes staring at me. But it is so damn good.
    44.  I hate laziness.
    45.   I hate superstitions.
    46.  I hate using someone else’s soap.
    47.  I hate when people don’t clean the toilet bowl ring. (Klobrille, “toilet glasses” in German!)
    48.  I hate those strands of hair that cling to the shower wall or in the bathtub. Or on the floor.
    49.  I hate that stores put out back-to-school supplies in mid-July.
    50.   I hate that Halloween decoration is available by mid-August. I can go on with this.
    51.  I hate that tissue paper that people put in a gift bag. What is the purpose of it? It neither hides anything nor looks good.
    52.  I hate when reused gift bags have someone else’s name on them.
    53.  I hate that bigger is not always better.
    54.   I hate burning my mouth but I never wait when food is super hot.
    55.  I hate stepping on scales. I don’t have one. 
    56.   I hate losing buttons.
    57.   I hate missing garbage day.
    58.  I hate that I don’t get lollipops in banks anymore but my son does.
    59.   I hate when PEOPLE YELL AT ME IN ALL CAPS.
    60.  I hate when parents give their three-year-old child five-minute time warnings. They have no clue what five minutes even means. Or ten minutes.
    61.  I hate tolls.
    62.  I hate that I don’t have magic beans.
    63.  I hate that there is no magic genie inside my lamp but I keep rubbing it regardless.
    64.  I hate that most kids are scared to death when I tell them German Fairytales.
    65.  I hate when someone invents something that I thought of first. 
    66.  I hate that the really cool stuff to see is usually always on the other side of the plane, bus or car.
    67.  I hate that Rose in Titanic said she would not let go… but she did. She could have clearly saved Leo. I hate that she did not make room on that board for him.
    68.  I hate that they didn’t see that iceberg any sooner. Again, I could go on forever.
    69. I hate kids. Except for my son. And Leos. And my sister’s kids and some selected others.
    70.   I hate when people use the word ginormous or ridic.
    71.  I hate international student fees. Or all student fees.
    72.  I hate not knowing everything. I hate that my son knows everything.
    73.  I hate combination locks on lockers.
    74.   I hate the locker room or gym smell.
    75.   I hate dumb, overpriced souvenirs.
    76.  I hate when people don’t bring me back a souvenir.
    77.   I hate cruise ships. Titanic traumatized me for life.
    78.  I hate when I have to get up to pee at night.
    79.  I hate daylight-savings and losing an hour of sleep.
    80.   I hate insomnia.
    81.   I hate that software needs updates and then at some point I need to purchase a new computer because it is old.  This goes for pretty much all electrical gadgets.
    82.  I hate junk mail.
    83.   I hate licking envelopes.
    84.   I hate missing the mailman. I see him carrying the package from my mom to the door because I am working at my desk. He rings the doorbell and waits ONE second, then leaves with the package. I yell out the window that I am coming down but he is long gone.
    85.   I hate global warming.
    86.  I hate leaf blowers and the sound they make. Just horrible. Especially early on a Saturday morning.
    87.   I hate when people cannot say croissant properly when ordering one at the café.
    88.  I hate saving a good bottle of wine for a special occasion. I hate when people have a basement full of wine but don’t drink it.
    89.  I hate nasty, dumb divorces and fights over nothing.
    90.  I hate that I was too blind, rushed into things and did not see all the alarm signs and signals earlier.

What are things you hate?

2 Replies to “.Things I Hate.”

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