.This Journey.

You are here to live big. You are here to relax. You are here to be yourself
You are here to inspire and uplift. You are here to help. You are here to live out your potential. You are not here to live small. You are not here to internalize. You are not here to shrivel and doubt. You are not here to show off.  You are not here to be anyone else – Daniela Henry 

 

Imagine you are doing exactly what you always wanted to do. Now close your eyes. Is it to travel to Australia? Learn to surf in Hawaii? Get a puppy or kitten? Write and publish that novel?  Imagine this day has arrived. Now open your eyes. How did this feel?

We all have dreams, things, goals, persons or places we think about in empty moments. The simple thought of those dreams could make us smile, tear up or laugh. It is there and lives within us all the time. A couple of months ago, when I started reduced the noise around me, my dreams got louder. When I found this space within myself that is quiet and I take the time to listen, I can hear it speak. It speaks and guides me. The more time I take to listen, the more knowledge I gather from it. The more I know, the less I fear.

Then, I realized that I am actually living my dream instead of simply day-dreaming. This is my reality now. I have spoken about my dream(s) in previous posts and my family and close friends have been hearing about it for some time now. Yet, good things take time and patience. Like a temporary work visa or becoming a permanent resident in Canada. All this aside, I am pursuing my dream of living and hopefully soon working here. There are so many stories I will soon share; stories about the process of getting here, of settling down, immigration struggles since all this definitely did not happen overnight.

I do not want people to think that trying to stay and living in this country is easy but I want you to know that it is possible. While every risk comes with challenges, it also comes with rewards and so far, in my two years here, I have witnessed magic almost every single day. I will start with this:

Overcoming Fear and Self-Doubt. There was a time in my life when people told me I cannot make it on my own in this country. Repeatedly been told, it created fear and self-doubt within me. It made me think if suggested alternatives actually work better for me but after analyzing them thoroughly, I knew that those will make me feel bad in the long run and are not good for me. The thing that I have learned recently has been that I do not need to fear anything. In order for me to action my dream(s), I simply have to believe I can do and deserve it since I put so much effort, time and energy into this. I have to believe in my abilities and my self-worth which is very strong. My self-worth is what sustains me when it gets hard or I hit a block. Being selfish is not a bad thing. I just put my “self” (and my son) first.

This recent journey, even though painful at times, has truly been the biggest and best experience of my life. I have learned so much about myself, about making things happen, on how to survive, on letting friends help and support me, being resourceful, watching money even more, and most importantly about trusting the path I chose. I never really set any expectations around how I would feel or exactly what would happen once I arrived in Canada. I only knew I will start and finish the Master’s program. Now, that I accomplished that and continued studying holistic nutrition, I realize that the biggest lesson is to renew my self-confidence every day which becomes so much easier. I could not be in a better situation to work on this than now.

My recent experience has proven to me that we all have a path or flow, and when we let ourselves go with it, the people, places, and things we need all conspire to help us on that journey. Whenever we go against this flow, despite knowing where we need to go, life gets a bit rough(er). Many times, I wasn’t even aware if I am in the flow or not.
Ottawa makes me happy. Some people here make me especially happy and when people ask me why I am here, I usually answer that I feel called to be here. I want to make this work; I feel good here, comfortable and loved. Others ask me what I will be doing in terms of getting a job or a clear purpose because we humans need to categorize thing in our brain so it is easier to process. We are human and I believe that we all understand the spiritual language that sometimes does not make logical sense. Whenever I make decisions and take actions based on my spirituality (heart, feelings, and gut), it does not always make perfect logical sense but for some reason, these feeling are 99% accurate to me. And this type of sense is the only thing that really matters.

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