.Who to Trust.

There are so many things I wanted to share recently but I could not find the time to sit down and write it all down. Tonight I simply type along and reflect because there has been a lot that I have overcome, moved and worked through, dealt with or healed from.  Throughout it all, I have learned so much. I have become so much stronger,  wiser and more confident in the choices that I have made and am about to make in knowing that every time I listen to my gut or I do what feels right for me (and my son) I never regretted it.

This blog post is not supposed to be about me since I do not want to elaborate on all the things I dealt with here. This post is supposed to be a message that I would like to throw out there and maybe someone can relate or maybe even be inspired.

I found myself in a position of being in a very unhappy place. I like to think of myself as someone who is very happy; someone who tries to look at the positive and good in things (most of the time) and learn from everything that I go through. I was in a place that was not right for me. I was stuck, lost and I honestly did not know what to do. It took a lot of time, courage and strength to make the decisions I made and to do what is right for me and my son while looking forward and moving on. All that aside though, regardless of what I went through and the situation I was in or all the details that surrounded it: what I truly learned is just how important it is to always listen to my gut. To listen to the part of me that knows what is right. Trust me on that one!

There are probably times when your gut tells you what is right but it just seems impossible to take the jump or the leap or do it since there are so many hurdles. But doing it anyway while pushing through the fear is what I aim for. Even though some things may be so out of this world and difficult and I feel like how am I going to get past this. Or how am I going to overcome this, feel better or move on, there is nothing more rewarding than looking back thinking to myself, “Oh damn, now I am so much happier as a result!”

I do what is right for me (and my son) and I think that in this life doing just that and being completely honest and true to myself opens different doors in so ways. It makes sense because I know from my personal experience that whenever I have been in a situation and it does not feel right, things don’t usually move and flow as effortlessly and smoothly. Almost like every step I take just doesn’t feel right, is more difficult or I feel like I am forcing it.

But whenever I take a path and it feels good and something really makes me happy, things flow. Things feel easy and effortless. I don’t mean to make one decision and your life will be easy and perfect. I mean making little steps in the direction that feels good and right made me happier, not stressed and more content. I am not trying to plague myself with the coulda-woulda-shouldas of life. Of course, I catch myself wishing I made better decisions and choices in certain situations and I wish I could take back things I have done or said to people but regret is a pointless practice. What’s done is done.

I never want anybody to perceive me as perfect or think that I have figured life out.  I am far away from it. I want to live the greatest life I can live. I want to be as healthy as I can be. Listening to my gut is a priority in my life now and I learned the hard way that numbing or tuning this little voice out does not help.

When I finally started to say “no” to things or when I passed off opportunities that don’t serve or make sense to me I sometimes scared myself. Saying “enough of this” or “no” sometimes means getting kicked out of the safety bubble that feels comfortable and somewhat easy. But life is not easy. Taking this step is often not even as scary as we think it is.

Don’t get me wrong, sometimes it is scary. But when it is all set and done we can look back and say, “it is okay”. It is always okay in the end. This too shall pass. Things always work out in the end. We all have been in a place where we stand at a fork of the road and it is either this way or that way. What do I choose? If you know it is right for you, you know it is the right thing to do. And wonderful things will happen as a result. Whatever that is for you. So I trust my gut since there is nobody else out there more qualified to deal with me than myself.

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