I overheard a conversation between two women the other day. One was at a bar with her coworkers the night before and they all got a little relaxed after some drinks that followed a rather exhausting business meeting. The woman said she felt good, she was relaxed, laughing, happy and outgoing. Especially after her second and third drink. Everybody laughed at her jokes and the way she danced with another coworker after her fourth drink. Dancing the night away, f****** awesome. Then she came back home and went to bed. The alcohol wore off and she realized that she kissed this particular coworker (who she secretly had a crush on for several weeks now) wondering if this was okay. If she maybe was too drunk, too loud, to annoying or what the others may have thought about her dancing her “ass off” to ABBA’s Dancing Queen while pretending her empty wine glass is a microphone. “Creepy, no”, she asked her friend. “I feel like killing myself now. What does everybody else think now?”
The other woman just nodded in silence and told her that “this guy will most likely never call you again. Maybe if you are really lucky!” This made me realize again how unimportant it is what others think. Who the hell cares. I know I should not have too many thoughts for too long (just a couple of seconds really) about any (weird) interaction I have had with another human being. Thinking about some strange noises I made, too much alcohol I drank or [insert anything here]. I laugh about it, shrug, cringe and move on. It is in the past. Nothing I can do about it now anymore. To think about it longer than a couple of seconds is too much. I know that life can be painful and cruel sometimes so I won’t make it worse by overanalyzing things or replaying certain scenarios over and over in my mind. Other weird things will happen for sure so I stop worrying (German Angst) and move on to the next inevitable situation. No need to put my head down, curl up in fetal position and weep for hours or days.
Of course, this is not a free-of-jail card to misbehave inappropriately and just don’t think about it anymore. If I did something totally crazy I of course apologize. This post addresses more the little weird annoying behaviours but not insane rudeness.
I have one more example that proves that I don’t even have to overthink what other people’s reactions are. Tonight I spent a great evening with my family and certain people looked at me weird and talked when I danced or about what I wore. Do I care that I am not dressed all in white or dressed in expensive brands and pretend I am someone I am actually not? Nope! This most certainly does not make me cringe, think about how I look or what I wear for one second. I do not have to apologize, feel embarrassed or weird. Most likely, people like this will gossip about everyone and everything anyway so who cares. It’s not my problem. I am free. I am me. I am doing my thing. And I am happy the way I am.