.Things I Told Myself I Would Never Say or Do.

“Sit up properly in your chair.”

I cry every time I watch Out of Africa, still hoping Robert Redford’s plane won’t take off.

“When I was little, cellphones or the internet did not exist.”

I curse like a truck driver every time a motherfuckin’ piece of shit in a car purposely cuts me off when I try to cross the street.

“Santa Clause won’t be happy…”

“Of course the tooth fairy exists.”

I haven’t read War and Peace, even though I pretend otherwise. Over time, I have learned to talk about it pretty convincingly.

Tracks I still listen to: Run DMC “It’s like that”; Nirvana “Hard-Shaped Box”; Fugees “Killing me Softly”; The Verve “Bitter Sweet Symphony”; Fool’s Garden “Lemon Tree”; Coolio “Gangster’s Paradise”; Rage Against the Machine “Killing in the Name”; Guns N’ Roses “Don’t Cry”; Oasis “Don’t look Back in Anger”

I start believing in God again whenever I need something.

“Your goldfish has gone on a long trip. I am not sure when he is coming back.”

“Now I avoid red wine.”

“Go to the toilet before we leave. Even if you don’t have to. Just a tiny bit.”

“Don’t shout. Mommy is very tired.”

“At six you think you know everything, but at my age, you realize life is a bit more complicated.”

“Enjoy it while it lasts – time flies.”

“If you swallow your chewing gum, it will get stuck to the inside of your stomach.”

“You will learn how to whistle if you eat your carrots.”

“If you are not hungry for your vegetables then you are not hungry for dessert.”

I had so many fears back then that today I am not afraid.

I know that if I don’t reach for it, no one will give it to me. Sometimes all I need is to give myself permission.

I know that I will never regret my misadventures. Sometimes, failures are successes in disguise.

I know that I can take the wrong path and it’s okay. I know to take life one day at a time. Nothing is forever.

I know that sometimes I have to shake things up to avoid repeating the same mistakes. Smiling is one of life’s greatest weapons.

“Something better is always on its way. This too shall pass.”

“That was trendy when I was a teenager. In my day, we invented games all the time and played outside in the dirt.”

“Don’t you think the music is a bit loud?”

I just can’t go out two nights in a row anymore.

“He is a man who lights a flame inside me, without actually setting my house on fire.”

“Selecting my year of birth on a website means scrolling down or up forever.”

“I am an environmentalist.” (I just started recycling and turn off the water when I brush my teeth)

“I am very excited just to go home.”

I tell myself that I am working out when I take the stairs. Or when I dance (while drinking) and I persuade myself that sweating is proof of my muscular exhaustion.

“Just enjoy it. Don’t expect anything. Just see where it all goes and enjoy the ride.”

“I am my own soul mate.”

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