.SOMETIMES RAW.

…. but we won’t be far away. My son and I are moving and I am leaving this area with one happy and one sad eye. In this post, I want to highlight the places we/I enjoyed the most; just awesome places in Old Ottawa South Guide to hang out. 

I live in Old Ottawa South since September 2016 and it has been very exciting to watch it become a real foodie and cultural destination; this spring/summer, however, some other exciting things are happening for us a bit further away. 

Oat Couture

Oat Couture, located at Bank and Glen is amazing. Firstly, they serve awesome coffee and the two swings are a great way to keep children entertained while parents talk. Oat Couture serves and celebrates all things made of oats and sell bowls, shakes, granola, baked goods, coffee, tea, and other non-alcoholic drinks. I stopped there with my son once for breakfast; I had a coffee, and we enjoyed delicious bowls of oatmeal with blueberries and lemon curds. 

The Cameron & The Belmont

The man behind The Belmont on Bank Street, (a tiny 30 seat restaurant) is Adrian Vezina who has taken his creativity in a whole new direction. At The Belmont, I enjoyed the Baked Spaetzle and a Lomo’s Limousine Cocktail for supper recently which was awesome but also dug into a huge plate of Huevos Rancheros for Brunch on a Sunday morning. Adrian has taken his creativity in a whole new direction however when he partnered up with the Ottawa Tennis and Lawn Bowling Club to turn the club’s second floor into The Cameron. This is an awesome place to watch a tennis tournament, meet new people, hang out at Brewer Park & Playground after or enjoy the Kid’s Movie Night on Fridays. 

Korean Restaurant “Table Sodam”

This place is a hidden gem. It just opened in May 2018 but changed my world. I never had Korean food before and got inspired when I took a food preparation and cooking course toward my degree as a holistic nutritionist with Dr. Joël Villeneuve, ND. It did not take my taste buds long to adjust. Table Sodam is definitely not an average restaurant. Keep in mind that the seating area is pretty small and that they do not take reservations. First come, first serve. I have seen lines outside at 5 pm when they open for supper. Their traditional Bibimbap is to die for but so is (according to my son) their fried chicken. They have so much more on their menu, however that looks delicious, flavourful and made me want to come back for more soon. 

The Black Squirrel Bookstore (My all-time favorite!)

“The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you’ll go.”
― Dr. Seuss, I Can Read With My Eyes Shut!

The bookstore specializes in academic non-fiction, in buying and selling used books of merit but there are many different genres available. You will find books on History, Art, Biographies, Fiction, Sociology, Children’s books, Manga’s, Psychology, Philosophy and so much more. 

I love the unique and cozy setup by only somewhat separating the books and the café area. Comfortable arm seat reading chairs located close to the entrance/window area let you take advantage of reading close to a bookshelf (to simply grab another book) and people watch while sipping a cup of latte. This simplicity yet the pretty array of decorations found throughout the bookstore make it feel like I am at home and just give this comfortable feeling to stay here forever and never leave. I wrote a blog post about The Black Squirrel here. Also, check out their website. 

Patty’s Pub

Patty’s Pub is simply great, fast and serves comfort food. I love the steak and fries. The fries are cooked to perfection and Monday Burger Nights offer a variety of creative burger toppings. Taking my son to an Irish pub was a first, but it worked out since we were there in the afternoon. They obviously have regulations for the evening when you cannot bring kids. 🙂 

Burrito Shack 

Great burritos, salads, fries, large portions and fresh ingredients. Open until 10.30 pm on Friday and Saturday and during the week until 9 pm. My son who is part of the testing and tasting added that “if you do not want the fries super spicy, you have to tell the man behind the counter because otherwise he puts the spices on and it will burn your mouth”. 

Vietnamese  Kitchen

Not my “go to place” for pho which is definitely Chinatown but The Vietnamese Kitchen is great. Whenever I am feeling under the weather, this place is just conveniently close. My son and I enjoyed their vegetarian Moo Shu Pancakes and of course their Pho. He is almost five years old and eats comfortably with chopsticks – lots of practice at pho restaurants I reckon. They also serve French Fries and a variety of rice dishes which was great because my picky-eater-son was addicted to this type of food. 

Life of Pie 

Life of Pie offers awesome coffee, pastries (chocolate cake!), and bread (their fresh baguette is to die for!). Their breakfast biscuit with egg and sausage is just what one needs for brunch after a Friday or Saturday night well spent! 🙂  They have a bunch of board games that entertain and occupy kids if needed so the parents can actually have a conversation. 

Stella Luna

Stella Luna is not just for gelato. On Monday through Thursday, you can enjoy small (complimentary) bites such as sandwiches and Quiche, with a purchase of a glass of wine (yay) between 5 pm and 7 pm (Pretty European). Stella Luna is famous for their homemade ice cream which is so good indeed. We tried almost all the flavors but rich, dark chocolate is our all-time favorite. 

House of Targ

We walked to this place randomly on a Saturday late afternoon on our way back home and did not want to leave ever again. We were amazed by 80-style Pinball and Perogies which brings back memories. House Of Targ is the place to hang out. It is a spot like no other, featuring live music, pinball. old school arcade games and a delicious menu including handmade perogies. They serve alcohol and host family parties. 

Mayfair Theater

The Mayfair Theater built in 1932 is one of Ottawa’s two last, oldest and surviving independent neighborhood cinemas. There are no advertisements or commercials before the movie starts which is amazing; they just show pictures of Old Ottawa South and how it looked in 1932, upcoming movies posters on-screen and no trailers. The Mayfair has the distinction of never having been owned by, or affiliated with, any of the major cinema chains which I love so much. I enjoyed the architectural features and the vintage touch that drew me into the world of imagination and memories when I was a teenager and used to go to this tiny movie theater in my hometown Coburg in Germany. 

I had a great conversation with my friend the other day about looking back on the recent past and how not to think of the pain I felt but rather to think of the strength I gained and to simply appreciate how far I have come since then. I have been through a lot and I give myself credit for my resilience and also step forward again with grace. 

Recall: Recently I had to make a couple of major decision that in the long run will move my life forward. When I told my friend that I was worried about taking certain chances and regretting my choices, he simply said, “Trust me, you won’t regret these steps and decisions. If anything, you most likely will kick yourself in the butt for not taking those chances and more on those real and surprisingly very accessible opportunities you have these days.” He then asked me who I would be and what else I could see if I could simply remove all the stuff that is worrying me. 

As I say my daily affirmations (I can share those with you would like), I realize that life is about trusting myself, taking certain chances, losing things and finding happiness, definitely learning from experience and accepting the journey while realizing that every single step was necessary (and worth it) to get me to where I am today. The key is that I am willing to take each step by giving myself a fair chance. Usually, I regret chances I did not take or decisions I waited way too long to make by wasting more time, procrastinating and hoping while many important words were left unspoken. Why do I make so many regretful decisions in my life? Why did I hope and thought things may be as they were way back when? 

It took me a while to figure this out but it makes all sense now. Those poor decisions I continuously made, along with the ensuing regrets I faced, were caused not by physical problems in my life, but instead because my mind was weak. Those weaknesses encouraged me to avoid discomfort, change and to maintain a routine or rhythm. I try to avoid any type of pain obviously (who doesn’t), and discomfort is one. Stepping outside my comfort zone used to make me uncomfortable, however, after some time of practice, it feels good now. 

The simple idea of taking charge of my own life again and being free is so great. Focusing on difficult tasks while saying a clear no to certain people was difficult at first but becomes easier every single day. In the last couple of years, I became lazy and used to run from discomfort constantly which was wrong. I should have faced and spoked about things that made me uncomfortable for the longest time.  I silently kept in my comfort zone and missed out on many great life experiences and opportunities. I was stuck in some type of cycle that was comfortable in one way but destructive in another. At some point I was tired of this constant headache, worrying, jealousy and self-doubt that it was me who did everything wrong and caused my marriage to end up like this. It was most certainly NOT only me! 

I knew it was time to break this cycle and to move on since those relationship patterns I lived by and with for so long didn’t really help me but they rather hurt. Life is awesome and so many new doors opened since I am open to change. I realized that it was finally time to learn from my mistakes and stop doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result (insanity?). Didn’t Jung or Freud say that one ultimately becomes what one repeatedly does? It was/is time for a change indeed. 

So, this is where I am now. Things changed significantly and I am on a good path to conquer this discomfort I was dealing with among other certain issues by embracing it. These days, I am leaning into it, showing my teeth while growling and putting myself back in control. This control and power I used to have! One thing I can always do is to choose a mindset that moves me forward. Something positive that changes things from the inside out while at the same time allows me to grow beyond all that BS that I thought I struggle with and cannot control. I choose to face discomfort with courage, help, strength and a change in mindset. 

“See, that wasn’t as bad as you thought…”

You know what one of my special talents is besides being obsessed to have a clean house or untangling ropes and wires? Making volcanos out of molehills or sand. Also, I have this talent to blow a bad situation out of proportion completely, usually whenever I am on the phone with my mom. During our last (somewhat sobbing) phone call, my mom opened my eyes when I told her that my life is a mess and terrible. “Think about all the positive things happening in your life”, she said and added that I should stop focusing on everything negative and don’t let this stuff overshadow the rest of my awesome life since I already know what to do if I dig down really deep and listen to myself. 

After this particular phone call, things made sense. My mom calmly explained life to me while I am all over the place, trying to focus while being a Debbie Downer and letting the negativity spoil the positive things in my life within one second. Whenever something bad happens I have the tendency to let this unhappiness seep into all other aspects of my life which is definitely not a good thing. So, if things work well in my life, I tend to not allow it to boost my overall morale and well-being but rather seek more. Usually, it is all or nothing meaning that either everything goes well or everything is a disaster. I know this is not a healthy way of thinking and that it is taking a huge toll on my emotional life and for some reason, it takes a tremendous amount of work to snap out of it. But now, I have to. 

A series of events happened in my life that includes trying to find a job, a move, solo-parenting, studying and a plethora of exams. I was losing sleep, losing weight, having this brain fog that did not clear up and breaking down crying at points while trying to figure out where my life is heading. Occasionally, I had this feeling that I did not know where my life was going at all and “German” worrying and negativity was, of course, feeding itself until this massive grey cloud of sadness appeared that I could no longer ignore. 

Throughout my studies, I met so many people who gave me strength, power, and inspiration to break this insane cycle I was stuck in for the last couple of years. I have been reminded again to focus on positive thinking, daily affirmations and to allow myself to recognize and enjoy special happy moments, with no strings too tightly attached. This is all new territory for me and I enjoy to discover it more. All this advice was only helpful once I discovered my emotional agility to get there by myself since I was in the middle of this negativity meltdown, and any moment of recognition and self-worth felt somewhat forced and did not lift me out of the misery I was in. So what to do when I try to lean into optimism but I get a shitload of pessimism and I cannot climb out of the toilet because someone keeps flushing?

I simply acknowledged the facts. I acknowledged that I am in a negative place right now which is helpful to me since I live in the moment. It somehow allows me to recognize all the negative stuff going on in my life in a larger sense while focusing on them and trying to find solutions instead of just wishing things away. Also, sometimes it is helpful to engage in tangible activities or distractions rather than happy thoughts. For example, thinking of a separation agreement I put on my sneakers and go for a run. Or, if I desperately want to write but nothing of value comes to my mind at this point, I just bake some blueberry muffins to distract myself and to make me feel better; even though it may only be a temporary diversion; but yum!  Kinda like, gaining new perspective through blueberry muffins which might be actually helpful. 

I also stopped beating myself up when I am in a shitty mood because it makes my situation simply worse. I just acknowledge when I feel bad and tell myself that it is completely fine and then try to figure out ways to make the situation better. Acknowledging my feelings and recognizing why I feel shitty is important as well as figuring out how to move on. It becomes easier to deal with all this on a daily basis. Being able to reach out to family and friends is salient as well since they offer help and support and ways to shift my focus out of this negativity bs. And you know what? Since I realized all this, I am celebrating the good things in my life (and there are so many) and I let the bad ones just roll off my shoulders by simply taking a step back and seeing the bigger picture. Whenever I am not able to do this, I focus on other things that make me happy such as spending time cooking shrimp and having a beer at the river with my friend contemplating life. I also always have Yoga, meditation, a good book, a good movie and myself.

Has all this positive thinking turned me into some sort of super-zen human? Nope. I simply leave the past behind and look joyfully toward the future. These days, I am actually not really in the past or in the future. I am right here, right now. I am in the right place, doing the right thing, at the right time and have the best people possible surrounding me to help when necessary.

My story is unique, my journey is exciting and my life is amazing. Also, everything is exactly as it should be and good things are coming my way since I know what is best for me and I approve of myself. My ability to overcome challenges is really limitless and I am not afraid of my fears since they do not control me. Those fears are just thoughts and not reality. I can and I will since the possibilities in my life are endless. 

The German Angst is still creeping up here and there but with practice, it is more manageable for sure and in the near future I will be able to build an even better mountain out of this molehill by adding tiny bits of sand to the pile.  And there is always a special shelter.