{"id":6816,"date":"2026-01-30T05:49:06","date_gmt":"2026-01-30T05:49:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.sometimesraw.com\/?p=6816"},"modified":"2026-01-30T05:49:08","modified_gmt":"2026-01-30T05:49:08","slug":"the-number-1-thing-i-learned-in-my-career","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.sometimesraw.com\/?p=6816","title":{"rendered":".The Number 1 Thing I learned In My Career."},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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During my careers over the past 25 years, I\u2019ve developed a few strong work beliefs. For example: Always have hard conversations in person, not over email. Take all your vacation, and stay home if you are sick. Everything takes forever, so factor in more time than you think you\u2019ll need. Obviously, there are many others but what is the #1 career lesson I\u2019ve learned and the thing I teach my colleagues to do? The big takeaway I hope my kid will absorb? Here it is, and once you do it, it becomes easy\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Say a kind and firm no.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I say no allllllll day long, and I have zero emotions around it. People want a lot of things, and that\u2019s great! They should ask for them! I ask them for things, too! But that doesn\u2019t mean we all owe each other everything, just because we want stuff. You need to guard your time and bandwidth, and it\u2019s absolutely fine to say yes or no to whatever is asked of you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Saying no does NOT mean you\u2019re ungenerous or unkind to others; it simply means you are careful with what you agree to take on. And when you say no, you can say bigger yeses!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here\u2019s one way to think about it: You have a certain amount of \u201ccoins\u201d of time and bandwidth per day, and it\u2019s up to you how you spend them. You wouldn\u2019t give money to everyone who asked, and in the same way, you don\u2019t need to give your help or time or energy just because people ask. If someone wants you to look over their resume, and that takes two coins, do you have two coins to spare? If yes, go ahead and share those coins. But if not \u2014\u00a0if you\u2019re saving those two coins for prepping for a meeting, or hanging out with your family, or even just staring at the ceiling \u2014 say a kind no. Your time and bandwidth are valuable and limited and\u00a0100% yours to spend.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

For any recovering people pleasers: please know that people can absolutely handle the small disappointment of having you say no to their requests. Respect them and trust that they will be just fine! We believe in them! I once had a smart, wonderful friend who got twisted in knots because she listed an armoire on Facebook Marketplace, and a bunch of people replied, but she could only give the armoire to one of them. I assured her that those who did not get the armoire would be able to handle it. They could move forward, armoire-less, and still have a nice life. Plus, it\u2019s not her \u2014\u00a0or your or my \u2014 responsibility to manage other people\u2019s emotions, which is a lesson I\u2019ve spent a lot of my life learning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think it\u2019s especially important for women to learn to say no, easily and often, since we can often feel immense pressure to serve others. It gets easier and easier as you practice, and once you get good at it? Honestly, it feels like freedom.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Here are a few \u201cno\u201d phrases to have in your back pocket, if you need them:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Someone invites you to a party\/dinner\/event and you don\u2019t have the bandwidth:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

This sounds like so much fun, but sadly I\u2019m not free!<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I can\u2019t make it that night, but please think of me next time.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I have unbreakable plans* that night, unfortunately, but have the best time.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Someone wants to crash at your place but you don\u2019t have the bandwidth:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I can\u2019t host this month, but I\u2019d love to see you when you\u2019re here.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am not able to host right now, but want me to recommend a few cute Airbnbs?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I can\u2019t host this month, but please reach out again in the future. I love you!<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Someone wants you to help with their work, but you don\u2019t have the bandwidth:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sadly, I\u2019m not doing any side projects at the moment because of time constraints, but thanks for thinking of me.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I promised myself I wouldn\u2019t take on anything else right now (bc of other commitments), so I have to pass, but I hope it goes so well.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Unfortunately, I\u2019m booked up with my own stuff right now, but I\u2019d love to help next time if the timing works!<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

* taking a hot bath, going out for ice cream, or reading\u00a0in bed all count as unbreakable plans<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Sometimes you\u2019ll hear people say, \u201cJust say yes, and you\u2019ll figure it out. Just take the opportunity.\u201d I\u2019m like, \u201cNo. You can say no. Maybe you should say no a lot.\u201d I\u2019ve said no so many times. If I hadn\u2019t, I wouldn\u2019t have a job. So many people ask you for things constantly. Just find a kind and gracious way to say no, and say it over and over and over until there\u2019s something you feel will really bring you value or there\u2019s a real reason for doing it. But definitely don\u2019t say yes to everything. That\u2019s bananas advice. Get good at saying no.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Thoughts? How do you feel about saying no?<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

During my careers over the past 25 years, I\u2019ve developed a few strong work beliefs. For example: Always have hard conversations in person, not over email. Take all your vacation, and stay home if you are sick. Everything takes forever, so factor in more time…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_ml_titleColor":"#000000","_ml_titleFont":"Roboto","_ml_titleFontSize":1.136,"_ml_titleFontWeight":"400","_ml_titleLineHeight":1.3,"_ml_metaColor":"#708090","_ml_metaFont":"Montserrat","_ml_metaFontSize":0.6785,"_ml_metaFontWeight":"400","_ml_metaLineHeight":0.92,"_ml_bodyColor":"#a9a9a9","_ml_bodyFont":"Open Sans","_ml_bodyFontSize":0.85,"_ml_bodyFontWeight":"400","_ml_bodyLineHeight":1.2,"_ml_wooPriceColor":"#666","_ml_wooPriceFont":"Open Sans","_ml_wooPriceFontSize":0.9,"_ml_wooPriceFontWeight":"400","_ml_wooPriceLineHeight":1.27,"_ml_headingColor":"#000","_ml_headingFont":"Merriweather","_ml_headingFontSize":2.02,"_ml_headingFontWeight":"700","_ml_headingLineHeight":1.47,"_mlglobal_userfontcolors":{"headingColorUser":[],"titleColorUser":[],"metaColorUser":[],"bodyColorUser":[],"wooPriceColorUser":[]},"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6816","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-minimalism-lifestyle"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sometimesraw.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6816","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sometimesraw.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sometimesraw.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sometimesraw.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sometimesraw.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=6816"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.sometimesraw.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6816\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sometimesraw.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=6816"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sometimesraw.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=6816"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sometimesraw.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=6816"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}