{"id":6697,"date":"2025-06-13T04:51:04","date_gmt":"2025-06-13T04:51:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.sometimesraw.com\/?p=6697"},"modified":"2025-06-27T09:57:49","modified_gmt":"2025-06-27T09:57:49","slug":"i-am-your-mom-playing-a-video-game-with-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.sometimesraw.com\/?p=6697","title":{"rendered":".I am Your Mom Playing a Video Game with You."},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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painting by Shannon Lucy<\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

So, my son is into all kind of computer games. I told him the other day that I would love to spend more quality time with him. He responded that he would show me one of his computer games and that I will totally love it. “It is not complicated at all, mom,” he said and explained all the necessary moves to me. This way, we do spend time together, I thought. Below is just a short transcript on how this all went. Enjoy!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Stop yelling at me. I don\u2019t know why I\u2019m plowing into this corner either, but the harder I push this toggle-pusher thingy, the harder it pushes back. Also: why are there four screens? It\u2019s hard for me to tell what I\u2019m looking at.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Oh, that\u2019s all of us? That\u2019s so sweet. It makes me so happy to see us all together like that. We really ought to grab a picture for Grandma and Grandpa before we\u2014oh no, what just happened?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Am I\u2014floating right now? Why am I floating?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I died?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

How do I un-die?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think I remember asking you to stop yelling at me. Do we make good choices when we yell? We do not. I think someone\u2019s going to see a precipitous decline in their screen time allowance if we can\u2019t work on our tone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Oh, thank you for un-dying me. Now let me figure out how to\u2014oh, hey, movement! I\u2019m moving! I\u2019m\u2014<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jumping. I am shooting. Try to shoot this apple from my head, go on. It is fine. Just aim! <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Okay, you don’t want to shoot me. So I\u2019m still in this corner, but at least I\u2019m seeing a different part of it. A higher part. Repeatedly. But look, I just landed on two of those goblins. And these laser beams\u2014wow! They just shoot right out of my eyes, I guess?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sorry, I see that I took out one of those little heart thingies above your head…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your LIFE? Oh, let\u2019s not be melodramatic. I have a feeling you may know someone who labored for thirty-eight hours to give YOU life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yes, I see you. I SEE you, I said. You act like running down this wall is pretty easy for someone who\u2019s never managed to put dirty socks into a hamper.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Besides, I\u2019m obviously dealing with a higher center of gravity than you are. No wonder I\u2019m not more nimble\u2014couldn\u2019t they give me a cardigan or something to cover these enormous breasts? Or somewhere to put this sword? I feel like I might accidentally slice one of these suckers right off.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Oh, don\u2019t sound so scandalized. Breasts are a perfectly normal thing to talk about. I have two of my own, for goodness sake. If anything, they were more yours than mine for the first year or so after you were born…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Excuse me? Did you just tell me to stop talking about my breasts? Did you say \u201ctits\u201d just now? To your mother? There are appropriate words and there are inappropriate words, and I think you know what kind you just used.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m going to walk back into this stone corner until you apologize.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thank you. I forgive you, of course. That\u2019s what mothers do. Over and over and over again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Isn\u2019t this fun? I\u2019m so glad you talked me into this\u2014this game is loads better than UNO. And speaking of loads, guess what? In between loads of laundry\u2014I folded your underwear, by the way, it\u2019s on your bed\u2014I\u2019ve been watching a few of those TockTock things online so I can be a better video game teammate, because that\u2019s what families do: we work together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now, let me show you this cool move I learned to get rid of those nasty goblins. See?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s his SPINE!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And look, if I do this combination here, I can crochet it into a tea cozy. I bet you didn\u2019t even know THAT was an option, did you? If you\u2019d stop and use your words and count to ten when you\u2019re angry, you might learn something.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Plus, some other game-moms figured out a \u201cmod\u201d to hack entrails into yarn, so we have a LOT of yarn to work with.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First order of business: I\u2019m making myself a cardigan with a nice, sturdy rib stitch. Because I\u2019ve got to bind these breasts of mine down somehow.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, it\u2019s pretty obvious I\u2019m cold. Why are you not playing anymore? Can I click on any body armour? Which one is the best? Joel? Joel? Joel? I cannot see you anymore? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

—–Joel left the game<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

painting by Shannon Lucy So, my son is into all kind of computer games. I told him the other day that I would love to spend more quality time with him. He responded that he would show me one of his computer games and that I will totally love it. “It is not complicated at … <\/p>\n

Continue reading “.I am Your Mom Playing a Video Game with You.”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_ml_titleColor":"#000000","_ml_titleFont":"Roboto","_ml_titleFontSize":1.136,"_ml_titleFontWeight":"400","_ml_titleLineHeight":1.3,"_ml_metaColor":"#708090","_ml_metaFont":"Montserrat","_ml_metaFontSize":0.6785,"_ml_metaFontWeight":"400","_ml_metaLineHeight":0.92,"_ml_bodyColor":"#a9a9a9","_ml_bodyFont":"Open Sans","_ml_bodyFontSize":0.85,"_ml_bodyFontWeight":"400","_ml_bodyLineHeight":1.2,"_ml_wooPriceColor":"#666","_ml_wooPriceFont":"Open Sans","_ml_wooPriceFontSize":0.9,"_ml_wooPriceFontWeight":"400","_ml_wooPriceLineHeight":1.27,"_ml_headingColor":"#000","_ml_headingFont":"Merriweather","_ml_headingFontSize":2.02,"_ml_headingFontWeight":"700","_ml_headingLineHeight":1.47,"_mlglobal_userfontcolors":{"headingColorUser":[],"titleColorUser":[],"metaColorUser":[],"bodyColorUser":[],"wooPriceColorUser":[]},"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6697","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-minimalism-lifestyle"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t