{"id":6361,"date":"2024-02-09T05:53:46","date_gmt":"2024-02-09T05:53:46","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.sometimesraw.com\/?p=6361"},"modified":"2024-02-09T05:53:51","modified_gmt":"2024-02-09T05:53:51","slug":"does-mr-perfect-exist","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.sometimesraw.com\/?p=6361","title":{"rendered":"Does Mr. Perfect Exist?*"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

*We all know that nothing and nobody is perfect, but it is still worth a shot, right? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The other day I had a conversation with a friend at work whose daughter dates the “perfect man who has everything a perfect man should perfectly have”. She elaborated: “He is always there for the kids, plays with them, cleans, cooks, brings home flowers, takes her out to dinner, opera, theater, movies, he is a gentleman, you name it! There is actually nothing he doesn’t do for her!” So this made me think. Does a human, male being like this exist? Is this even real? Let’s swing the magic wand and create a somewhat Mr. Perfect, shall we? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

He listens when you speak, he appears to understand his privilege and complex power dynamics, and he\u2019s never once lectured you about a Star Wars <\/em>or James Bond<\/em> movie or worse, forces you to watch all of them. Though not necessarily a common occurrence, coming across a seemingly perfect man, either socially or in the workplace, can be a very overwhelming experience. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Maybe he\u2019s the only man who doesn\u2019t talk about sports at the start of every meeting\u2014completely oblivious to who might be left out of the conversation. Or maybe you met him on a dating app, and he actually asked you a question about yourself. At first, you might have thought, \u201cWow, he sees me as a fully realized human being\u00a0and<\/em>\u00a0he has a nice haircut. This is too good to be true.\u201d It\u2019s probably not too good to be true. It\u2019s just too good to be entirely his doing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To keep the scales of universal justice aligned, credit must be given where credit is due. So, before you get caught up in how he appreciates dogs and talks openly about going to therapy, ask yourself, \u201cIs he really an emotionally evolved self-aware incarnation of soft masculinity come to Earth fully formed? Or am I just looking at the end result of years and years of tedious, thankless, burnout-inducing toil performed by the long line of women he\u2019s dated?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Discerning the truth can be surprisingly tricky. Especially because the part of you that\u2019s dying to meet a man who would eat his shirt before saying, \u201cBridges of Madison County<\/em> has some pretty interesting points\u2026\u201d will want to believe that this man walked out of the womb reading actual books and wearing no thin gold chain or gold necklace. In reality, it\u2019s far more likely that a very patient woman (me) carefully worked quotes from\u00a0Murakami<\/em>\u00a0into casual conversation with him for years (and bought him that chain – no gold though)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Keeping these things in mind will help you maintain a level head when getting involved with such a man. Because you can\u2019t just go dissolving into a puddle whenever he validates your feelings or puts on a Fiona Apple album. Remember, if he invites you into his home, it is your duty to keep an eye out for signs left by those who have gone before you. Does he have clean sheets and more than one pillow? It\u2019s plausible he acquired those on his own. Any bedding item made of linen? Now would be an appropriate time to thank those who have paved the way for your comfort. They likely fielded questions like, \u201cWhat\u2019s wrong with the sheets I\u2019ve had since forever?\u201d or \u201cWhy do we need pillowcases anyway?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Next, take a peek in the bathroom. If there\u2019s evidence that he owns moisturizer, maybe it\u2019s him. If he\u2019s one of the 14 percent of men using a daily sunscreen, maybe it\u2019s Allie, Katie, or Michelle, his three latest exes. Quietly thank them for working to protect his face for you both.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Scan his bookshelf. Cormac McCarthy? Vonnegut? War books? Murakami? Those are probably him. Anything written by a woman? Literally any woman at all\u2014it doesn\u2019t even have to be Virginia Woolf. If you find one, it\u2019s probably a gift from one of the exes, and it\u2019s probably\u00a0Pride and Prejudice<\/em>. Give them a round of internal applause for their service, and give him partial credit if the spine is cracked. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now, this is not to say that you shouldn\u2019t enjoy these men who are doing their best to do and say the right things. After all, someone worked very hard to turn that man who skateboards and plays guitar into a man who skateboards, plays guitar, and respects women\u2019s bodily autonomy. So if you meet a perfect man\u2014a living, breathing embodiment of the female gaze\u2014by all means, appreciate him for it. But before you get too impressed, just take a minute to remember the woman who explained the female gaze to him in the first place.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

*We all know that nothing and nobody is perfect, but it is still worth a shot, right? The other day I had a conversation with a friend at work whose daughter dates the “perfect man who has everything a perfect man should perfectly have”. She elaborated: “He is always there for the kids, plays with … <\/p>\n

Continue reading “Does Mr. Perfect Exist?*”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_ml_titleColor":"#000000","_ml_titleFont":"Roboto","_ml_titleFontSize":1.136,"_ml_titleFontWeight":"400","_ml_titleLineHeight":1.3,"_ml_metaColor":"#708090","_ml_metaFont":"Montserrat","_ml_metaFontSize":0.6785,"_ml_metaFontWeight":"400","_ml_metaLineHeight":0.92,"_ml_bodyColor":"#a9a9a9","_ml_bodyFont":"Open Sans","_ml_bodyFontSize":0.85,"_ml_bodyFontWeight":"400","_ml_bodyLineHeight":1.2,"_ml_wooPriceColor":"#666","_ml_wooPriceFont":"Open Sans","_ml_wooPriceFontSize":0.9,"_ml_wooPriceFontWeight":"400","_ml_wooPriceLineHeight":1.27,"_ml_headingColor":"#000","_ml_headingFont":"Merriweather","_ml_headingFontSize":2.02,"_ml_headingFontWeight":"700","_ml_headingLineHeight":1.47,"_mlglobal_userfontcolors":{"headingColorUser":[],"titleColorUser":[],"metaColorUser":[],"bodyColorUser":[],"wooPriceColorUser":[]},"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6361","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-minimalism-lifestyle"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t