{"id":6151,"date":"2023-06-09T04:50:42","date_gmt":"2023-06-09T04:50:42","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.sometimesraw.com\/?p=6151"},"modified":"2023-06-09T04:53:04","modified_gmt":"2023-06-09T04:53:04","slug":"jeans-issues","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.sometimesraw.com\/?p=6151","title":{"rendered":".Jeans Issues."},"content":{"rendered":"
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\"\"<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think it really hard to find the perfect pair of jeans. Don’t you? Like the perfect size of Levi’s 501, for example? Salespeople don’t make it easier either: <\/p>\n\n\n\n

For the Gentlemen<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

1. Get out your measuring tape. Measure your waist.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. Measure from your crotch to your foot.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. Take those two numbers in the order you measured yourself. You are ready to buy pants.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

4. Don’t buy skinny jeans. Ever! <\/p>\n\n\n\n

For the Ladies<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

1. At what age did you first learn about death?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. Add one for each candy bar you eat in a day\u2014be honest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. Did you think about carbs today? How many times? (Add one per instance<\/em>.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

4. What is your star sign? We figured we\u2019d ask in case no one has asked you today, even though it doesn\u2019t change your pants size.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

5. Have you dressed in sweat pants most weeks since 2020? (Add four<\/em>.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

6. Subtract two if usually wear H&M stretchy skinny pants in size 16. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

7. Do you know how to reset your router or attach the word “giraffe”on a tag to a photograph on a MAC computer? Take away a third of your size.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

8. If your butt were food, what food would it be?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \n
  • A sack of raw flour (subtract one<\/em>)<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  • Watermelons (add five<\/em>)<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  • Gluten-free ciabatta sprinkled with artisanal Parisian herbs (leave the number as is<\/em>)<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  • A bag of Haribo Smurfs<\/em> (add three<\/em>)<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n

    9. Can you describe what your running shoes look like? (If yes, subtract five<\/em>.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    10. Get out your measuring tape. Measure the smallest part of your waist if you like high-waisted pants. If you prefer pants down at your navel, measure there. Subtract this number from your running total. (It doesn\u2019t matter. Nothing really matters.<\/em>)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    11. How many one-size-fits-all items do you own that fit you? (Add this number to your running total<\/em>.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Now you might<\/em> be ready to buy pants. This method is about as accurate as measuring your body. Size up if you are buying clothes in the United States. Don\u2019t forget that odd-numbered pants are smaller than the others. Size down to an even number if you prefer nice, even numbers and denim without holes or \u201cdistressing.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Good luck! <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    I think it really hard to find the perfect pair of jeans. Don’t you? Like the perfect size of Levi’s 501, for example? Salespeople don’t make it easier either: For the Gentlemen 1. Get out your measuring tape. Measure your waist. 2. Measure from your…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_ml_titleColor":"#000000","_ml_titleFont":"Roboto","_ml_titleFontSize":1.136,"_ml_titleFontWeight":"400","_ml_titleLineHeight":1.3,"_ml_metaColor":"#708090","_ml_metaFont":"Montserrat","_ml_metaFontSize":0.6785,"_ml_metaFontWeight":"400","_ml_metaLineHeight":0.92,"_ml_bodyColor":"#a9a9a9","_ml_bodyFont":"Open Sans","_ml_bodyFontSize":0.85,"_ml_bodyFontWeight":"400","_ml_bodyLineHeight":1.2,"_ml_wooPriceColor":"#666","_ml_wooPriceFont":"Open Sans","_ml_wooPriceFontSize":0.9,"_ml_wooPriceFontWeight":"400","_ml_wooPriceLineHeight":1.27,"_ml_headingColor":"#000","_ml_headingFont":"Merriweather","_ml_headingFontSize":2.02,"_ml_headingFontWeight":"700","_ml_headingLineHeight":1.47,"_mlglobal_userfontcolors":{"headingColorUser":[],"titleColorUser":[],"metaColorUser":[],"bodyColorUser":[],"wooPriceColorUser":[]},"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6151","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-minimalism-lifestyle"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sometimesraw.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6151","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sometimesraw.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sometimesraw.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sometimesraw.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sometimesraw.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=6151"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.sometimesraw.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6151\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sometimesraw.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=6151"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sometimesraw.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=6151"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sometimesraw.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=6151"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}