{"id":6151,"date":"2023-06-09T04:50:42","date_gmt":"2023-06-09T04:50:42","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.sometimesraw.com\/?p=6151"},"modified":"2023-06-09T04:53:04","modified_gmt":"2023-06-09T04:53:04","slug":"jeans-issues","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.sometimesraw.com\/?p=6151","title":{"rendered":".Jeans Issues."},"content":{"rendered":"
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I think it really hard to find the perfect pair of jeans. Don’t you? Like the perfect size of Levi’s 501, for example? Salespeople don’t make it easier either: <\/p>\n\n\n\n

For the Gentlemen<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

1. Get out your measuring tape. Measure your waist.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. Measure from your crotch to your foot.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. Take those two numbers in the order you measured yourself. You are ready to buy pants.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

4. Don’t buy skinny jeans. Ever! <\/p>\n\n\n\n

For the Ladies<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

1. At what age did you first learn about death?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. Add one for each candy bar you eat in a day\u2014be honest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. Did you think about carbs today? How many times? (Add one per instance<\/em>.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

4. What is your star sign? We figured we\u2019d ask in case no one has asked you today, even though it doesn\u2019t change your pants size.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

5. Have you dressed in sweat pants most weeks since 2020? (Add four<\/em>.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

6. Subtract two if usually wear H&M stretchy skinny pants in size 16. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

7. Do you know how to reset your router or attach the word “giraffe”on a tag to a photograph on a MAC computer? Take away a third of your size.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

8. If your butt were food, what food would it be?<\/p>\n\n\n\n