This question I had on my mind since I got out of the car today after driving around all afternoon. How do I start this post? Maybe I already do know the answer to this question above. It is enough the way it is. I have my husband and my baby and I love them. It is all clear. We just all sat in the living room today and I looked at my son \u2013 like really looked at him, eyes, face, hair, body, the whole picture and this is really all I need. His happiness when he looks into my eyes and I can show him \u201cI am here. You are safe\u201d \u00a0and I tell him without words and he feels and understands. I know this is all I need. However, then there is this little extra beat of my heart that makes me think of another baby.<\/p>\n
I never ever wanted to have kids in the first place \u00a0so this is all weird for me to actually write about. All I always wanted was career, \u00a0travel the world, school, finish another BA, MA whatever. But I finally met the man who for the first time in my life \u00a0I could imagine having kids with. I just knew it would all work out \u2013 it would be all fine \u2013 I am okay and safe. Then I got pregnant and this pregnancy was a piece of cake. I was so fortunate. Nine months of just getting bigger, but no complaints otherwise. Then the birth \u2013 via c-section also okay. And I welcomed this beautiful baby boy into this world. (And I did not stop traveling \u2013 in fact it has gotten better. We just take the baby everywhere we go. Simple as that.)<\/p>\n
Throughout the last year with all these changes in my family\u2019s\u00a0life I was dreaming about homeschooling (this won\u2019t happen \u2013 just no way), about having my own garden to grow my food (this will definitely happen soon) and just live an awesome family life. So we had this one child and I saw how that went. It was easy. It was okay. I grew into loving being a mom, loving what I can teach this little soul on a daily basis. And then he grew and grew. My son is almost two years old now and I have loved every single second with him. I was so fortunate that I could raise him on my own and with my parents help because this is where I lived since my son was five weeks old. (My husband is on a mission with the United Nations in Congo).<\/p>\n
I am feeling these days that more and more of his baby-ness is falling away. I am just wondering what is next. Another baby? Yes! I am open for it. I would love to have another one.\u00a0I am wondering if I have any holes in my heart that yearn to be filled with another baby. Or if I want to grow our family one more time. \u00a0I am sure the answer is yes and if it will happen it will happen. No stress involved. I always asked myself when it is the right time to have a baby. When will I slow down enough to have one and say it is okay to have a baby \u00a0now. Well, there is no right time. Life never slows down enough so I would say, okay, NOW I want a baby because NOW the time is right.<\/p>\n
I have promised myself that if we get the chance to get pregnant again that I will enjoy this beautiful season of my life. I will be in the now which will be so important and this is exactly where I want to be and where I need to be. We will see what happens next for this little family of mine but I am open for changes all the time. I have this little voice inside of me saying:
\n\u201cIf it happens it will be an awesome experience all over again!\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
This question I had on my mind since I got out of the car today after driving around all afternoon. How do I start this post? Maybe I already do know the answer to this question above. It is enough the way it is. I have my husband and my baby and I love them. … <\/p>\n