“Parenting is the easiest thing in the world to have an opinion about, but the hardest thing to do.” – Matt Walsh
Oh parenting is such sweet sorrow. Intentionally I wanted to go to bed early today but what can I say. I had a cup of coffee too late today and am all antsy now. So here I am writing what is on my mind. ha! Scary! I just checked on my son if he is not getting too cold in his room. I put the fan directly on him because it is just so freaking hot outside. I do not want him to get too cold at night. Little things like that. Today I just thought about other mothers. I saw too many not to think about them at this point. Many other mothers I just find annoying and upsetting I have to say. I just try to understand how they can be so mean to one another. I mean c’mon, we are all in the same boat. The other day we were out and about but stopped at a health food store. I found this free magazine “Fairfield Parents” and there was one questions they discussed: “Can mothers who use the cry-it-out method be friends with mother’s use the attachment parenting method?” There were just so many crazy responses in the comment section of this article that it made me throw up. Basically the attachment-parenting mom’s said they CANNOT under ANY circumstances be friends with the cry-it -out moms. It is just barbaric to let the kid cry blablabla child abuse etc.
I mean I can just go on and on with this. I have “friends” who sign their 3 months old babies up for a violin class. WTF? And when I question it they look at me like “WHAT, you are not giving your child the chance to discover if they love this?” Yeah…. I guess when the child is three months old he can play the violin. He does not even know where his nose is. 🙂
The other day someone asked me if I have a picture of my son in my wallet. Well, no, I do not. I do not have 1000 pictures in my phone either. I have a couple. What it all boils down to is that I do most things differently than other women with regards to parenting and I simply refuse to change it or apologize for it. This is just me doing my thing with my son.
In the beginning I really let it get to me however. That I did not use cloth diapers but disposable diapers, that I had my son vaccinated against everything and anything and that my mom helped me out all the time in the beginning. And when he started eating I gave him the pre-made food from the store sometimes instead of home-cooking all the time. But we traveled so much that it was easier but no one cared about that. They judged me. How can you NOT cook for him EVERY DAY? And the worst again was, that I let him cry sometimes for half an hour before I picked him up.
Throughout my pregnancy I did everything right according to others and the books. I did not touch raw meat, camembert, alcohol, drugs etc. All I did was waiting for this baby. I wanted this baby more than anything else. Besides that I worried, longed, loved and analyzed. What else would you do if you are German? This is simply who I am. I am imperfect and I like myself. I love myself. And so does my husband. Jackpot! 🙂
I am just wondering why so many parents think that there is only one way to get out of this parenting thing with a well loved and adjusted kid? Who decided that you have to start being some sort of exhausted, selfless perfect person as soon as you conceive this baby? I am just wondering sometimes.
People should just broaden their pea-brained perception of things and let others live their life with whatever flaws they have. And everyone has some flaws – nobody is perfect. I love Augusten Burroughs. He is just a great author who said, “I like flaws and feel more comfortable around people who have them. I myself amide entirely of flaws, sticking together with good intentions.”
And I love imperfect normal mothers. (Hello Diana!) My husband has taken me to the train station (5 minutes driving) in the morning and left the baby at home while he was sleeping? Is this okay for you? Then you are “My kinda mom and I love you!” 😀
Before I had my son I did not know all these things about myself. I actually almost knew nothing about myself. I did not know that I enjoyed to rock my son to sleep in a chair after a while or carrying him around for hours when he was a newborn. Or that it is the best thing ever if they make a poop. These little things once you have a baby … nothing else really matters.
I have heard it before that it is the hardest thing ever to raise a child or that it is tough, but I never got the meaning of it until I had my son. It is a full-time job. Sometimes there is just this fine line. I have given all I can give the entire day. I loved him, played with him, fed him, give to him, give to him for the rest of his life. But I just cannot forget myself throughout this process. Then everyone is okay and balanced.
All I want to say here is: YOU are a good mother and so am I. We do the best for our babies, the best to make them as comfortable as possible and give them everything within our means. Sometimes we are just different as are our families, our lives, and our children. Sometimes love just sounds and looks different.
Thank you for reading .